Theresa

I was too young to go to Wigan as you well know Simon , but scooters and northern have always been inextricably linked for me. Used to take scoots up to the 100 Club from the early 80s onwards, and always remember parking up amongst rows of other scooters outside some of the great London soul nites like the Function At The Junction. And Mappy I well remember that we used to have to keep an eye on our bikes then as thieves were rife. In fact I had to desperately wriggle away from John, the 100 Club's big doorman, one night, as he somehow thought when I said "I've got to go and check on me scooter in the back alley", it was a euphemism for "follow me round there and give me one". Eek! But there will never be anything quite like riding home in formation through empty London streets early on a Summer Sunday morning after a cracking niter, crossing the river and checking the awesome view as we headed back to the Southside. The husband Justin is quite a bit younger than me, and was part of the third wave of scooterists from the late 80s, if there was such a thing, and never did the mod thing at all. He rode his SX from Blackpool to just about every niter throughout the 90s, mad fool, and we've still got a garageful of assorted runners, wreckers and white elephants projects. I'm a Lambretta girl myself, but we have got a GTS 250 and I have to admit it rides like a dream. Long may the association continue. Our eldest boy Leon:

We had: I'm The One To Do It - Lavern Baker Because Of You - Jackie Wilson Just Loving You - Ruby Andrew I'll Be Loving You - Soul Brothers Six Plus, a wedding night at the 100 Club! A bit cheesy, but said everything that we wanted to say. Good luck Kev & Sharon - hope Saturday is absolutely wonderful. Theresa & Justin x

The Empress Ballroom Strikes Back Raiders of the Lost Parka The Life of Brian* Highlander** Meet Joe Black Bombers *Rae **Room

If you're having Casey Jones, then I'm having 'Time Flies By When You're The Driver Of A Train'

You can't leave out Love Train by the O'Jays... it is Valentines week after all guys. Theresa

I never liked the music much, or the trousers for that matter. I mainly got into the scene to improve my UK geography, which was, quite frankly, appalling. So I spent 25 years learning the ropes - could navigate from the M1 to the Wilton Ballroom whilst blindfolded, guided a minibus of locals to the Shotts allniter without a wrong turn, got to the Ritz without ever ending up in Canal Street, parked on a sixpence within 100 yards of the 100 Club, could tell you which motorway services had the best coffee and toilets. You name it, Logic Woman could get you there. Then some bastard invents SatNav...

Mark, would you accept payment in Dolly Mixtures?

No more gear? Blimey we'll have to lick out some old bags

We probably won't get a proper foreign holiday this year because of having three little bairns and cash being tight, so we're doing three weekenders (one north, one south, one European) instead. Yippee.

Stalkers - It'll never be over for me

There are quite a few free and cheap nights out - check the events listings. Also, if you're registered on Soul Source and your birthday falls on the Sat or Sun of the Rugby Niter, you get in for free!

I'm 41, and Justin's 36, but he's had a hard life . My first niter (apart from scooter rallies) was the 100 Club. I've still got my old membership card and judging by the completely fictitious date of birth on it I obviously pretended I was 3 years older, so I must have been 15 and it would have been 1982. There are loads of us my age who came out of the mod revival and scooter scene, but I've always felt pretty young at most niters. It's quite comforting really. Mind you I always feel about 93 when I go to places like Southport.

To chase tasty birds in their 30s and 40s... or accompany their own lovely wives of course. And long may they continue.

I checked the iPod and the only Petes we've got are the Peter Moore Orchestra and Peter Cooke & Dudley Moore Daniel Dombrowe in Germany was just saying to me the other day that he's trying to think of names for his new baby boy who's due next week, and he really wanted Marvin, but that's apparently really popular with East German chavs over there...

Luppers & Joel ARE the new Smashie & Nicey on the northern scene. Joel's even got the shiny tracksuit tops already.

There have been some artistic crackers lately, but for pure memorable humour I think the fish have it this year. Overall though Andy of VSC is the paper flyer genius imo. His phonebox flyer for the Cardiff niter from a couple of years ago has got to be the best of all time - creative, colourful, and very very funny. My flyer wall at home is mostly papered with his stuff, including his classic 'bag of atmosphere'. We bow to the master No pressure obviously mate, ha ha. I'd love to see a book of the best & most memorable over the years. Has it ever been done? T

Was chatting to some nice lads the other night at Keele, Jamie who lives in Southampton and his brother Andy who lives in Newquay hi lads. Andy does the driving and collects Jamie on the way. They do the 100 Club every month and often further afield. Deserve a freaking medal if you ask me. Furthest I ever drove for one night only was Shotts in Scotland from South London in a Ford Fiesta Popular Plus 1.1...

Think you need a decent full-length niter plus three hours of saucy Sunday morning speedsex when you get home. Give that Kev Moore a ring, I've heard he's good.

Spat my cereal out and inhaled some up my nose by mistake laughing at those Registrars - 'What's Your Name?' Patrick Moore - 'Another Star' Gigolos - 'One-Nighter' Parole Officers - 'Please Give Me One More Chance' Paedophiles - 'Touching In The Dark' Sat Nav Manufacturers - 'Got To Find A Way To Find You' Jesters - 'Don't Wanna Be A Fool' Turnip Farmers - 'Hard Row To Hoe' (One-eyed Pete from Lincoln really was a turnip picker - where's he these days? Top spinner) Big Issue Sellers - 'Begging You' Olympic Athletes - 'Running Back & Forth' Private Detectives - 'Is She In Your Town?' Buddhists & Hindus - 'You Only Live Twice' Comedians - 'Go On And Laugh' Mountain Rescue Squads - 'Hold On Help Is On The Way' Executioners - 'Nothing Can Help You Now' Therapists - 'Are You Angry?' Weather Forecasters - 'Date With The Rain' or 'Stormy' Bank Account Tracers - 'You Don't Know Where Your Interest Lies' Station Announcers - 'Come On Train' Prostitutes - 'She Blew A Good Thing' Witches - 'Dust My Broom' Paediatricians - 'What's Wrong With Me Baby?' Amnesiacs - 'What Happened To Yesterday?' Exhibitionists - 'Look At Me Now' Statisticians - 'Nine Times Out Of Ten' Lottery Sellers - 'Not A Chance In A Million' Casting Agents - 'The Way You've Been Acting Lately' Muggers - 'Hand It Over' Not forgetting that other anthem for paranoiacs 'They're Talking About Me'

Brother Jack McDuff - 'Gonna Hang Me Up A Sign' if you like a bit of funky Hammond...

Sadly that made both me and Justin laugh. Apart from being international super housewife and sometime HR director, I have to do all his decorating quotations and invoicing... Blimey, every bugger's a decorator on here. 'I could paint a picture' R B Hudmon?