Just saw this on another site & felt I had to share it on here.
Regardless of your views on this topic ya gotta admit it's bloody funny
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Punter: 'Excuse me Mister DJ, would you perhaps have (insert random tune name here) that you could play for me and my friends, it's one of our favourites and we'd love to hear it, it would really add to the enjoyment of our night, for which we've paid seven pounds entrance fee'?
DJ Warwick Hunt: 'Yes, I have the record, but unfortunately for you the copy I have doesn't have the correctly printed circular label either side, you see I have self-imposed rules which enable me to stay true to the grass roots of the rare soul scene, so although the song is identical in every way to the desirable copy which actually does have the correctly printed circular label on either side, I have to uphold my beliefs and therefore I won't allow myself to play it for you'
Punter: But that doesn't concern us, we've paid to get in, we love that song and really want to hear it and dance to it'.
DJ Warwick Hunt: 'It matters to me and my two friends standing behind me, and also that man in the checked shirt leaning over decks moving his head round and round holding his glasses above his eyes whilst scrutinising the record label, so therefore I'd be letting myself and my two good friends and that man in the checked shirt leaning over decks moving his head round and round holding his glasses above his eyes whilst scrutinising the record label, down, if I played it to you.
Punter: But surely, keeping a room full of paying punters happy is the priority for you as a DJ?
DJ Warwick Hunt: 'You'll never make a DJ mate, get back to your C.R.A.P. venues if it's music and dancing you prefer, you obviously have no clue that O.V.O is the priority? I bet you'd even dance to a non original, and buy CD's, which everyone knows are the modern day equivalent of cassettes, so there I look down on you and sneer mockingly in your face'.
Punter: 'Haven't got a clue what you're talking about mate, me and my friends just love soul music regardless of format, coming out, having a drink, a laugh, a bit of a dance and a good time. Will you please play (insert random tune name here) for us'.
DJ Warwick Hunt: 'I've explained my position to you - until I source the a copy that has the correctly printed label on either side for an unfeasibly large amount of money, I shall not accede to your wishes, and in the mean time shall only play music that will impress both myself and my two friends standing behind me, and anyway you look like you could do with a sit down, aren't you too old to be going out dancing at your age?'
Punter: 'Come on you lot, the DJ's an alien, drink up, we're going somewhere else'.