Oh dear, there’s just too many do’s
It takes over half an hour just to peruse
In every location a range of venues
With so much happening how do I choose?
Northern, Motown, Rhythm and Blues
Across the board music policy doesn’t give any clues
Large wooden dance floor or maybe cheap booze
Promoters and DJs give five star reviews
Only £5 on the door, what can you lose?
Free CD for the first fifty, how can I refuse?
F*ck it, I think I’ll stay in and become a recluse.