You couldn't make it up.
I got this vinyl record to fix for someone, it had a one inch crack at the edge, so I manipulated the vinyl so that the break was super smooth and shouted for Davina to get the superglue - I wanted her to put a tiny blob right on the edge of the record to seal the crack.
So I'm holding the crack together tightly, she puts the glue on the spot where I told her to, but she put too much on and before I could do anything, my left index finger was stuck to the b side of this record. Not just the tip of my finger, nearly all of the top of my finger was stuck like cement.
So then I started to panic, I have a 7" record stuck to my finger, I feel like one of those Amazonian tribesmen who have the plates stuck in their lip, how am I going to drive with a record stuck to my hand? I have to pick Sam up from school in 10 minutes, maybe I should wear a giant oven glove and tell the other parents that I was in the middle of cooking and didn't notice I hadn't taken the glove off?
Eventually I soaked my hand and the record in hot water and then tried to cut the glue off, still not working, so eventually I just ripped it off, leaving half my skin stuck to the b side of this record.
All this time Davina was laughing so hard she was turning red and I thought she was going to explode.
Mick Smith phones, Davina answers the phone and tells him I can't come to the phone because I have my hand stuck to a record with superglue and the fire brigade are on their way. Bitch.
So anyway, the record got fixed, it clicks a few times but plays fine, the B side however does not play because my finger is still stuck to it.
Don't you dare laugh at me!