a star is born

'The Grey-ham Ginster Experience', Wednesday Channel 4 @10 pm
(by your Soulsource Television critic Melvin Brat)
Talented newcomer Grey-ham Ginster is surely heading for the upper crusts of superstardom after elevating the chat show formula to new levels last night. In a specially commissioned hour-long spectacular, and resplendent in his trademark silver jacket, the "lean, slightly-green dancing machine" showed his astonishing versatility by tap dancing his way through an exclusive interview with John Travolta while juggling eight mince pies and a hot-dog.
The former star of 'Saturday Night Fever' was further left footed as the Ginster, entirely ignoring Travolta's subsequent movie successes, offered instead a series of piercing insights regarding the actor's performance in the film that kick-started his career. "Is it true... is it true that you in fact used a stunt double for the close-ups?" asked Grey-ham cheekily, "...and that a prominent part of your anatomy was performed by a sausage roll named Simon?" upon which the thoroughly upstaged Hollywood star removed his microphone and stormed off the set in a huff, to rapturous applause from the audience.
There followed a short interlude during which the petrified pastie humiliated a random selection of audience wannabes with racy double entendres before introducing his next guest, comedienne Dawn French - wittily described by Ginster as "OK, if you're into really fat birds". To near hysterical laughter Grey-ham went on to persuade Ms. French to dress up as a steak & kidney pie and tango with a ravenous alligator - with predictably hilarious results!
Grey-ham goes on to host the 'ITV Modified Meats Awards Show' for six hours tomorrow night and the long awaited finals of 'Strictly Crumb Dancing (Naked)' on Saturday, closely followed by a guest appearance on 'The Pie At Night'. I can hardly wait!