The Funniest Thing

[grantdyche]

me doing a spin on the dance floor circular skirt going up and down round and round!!! and folk clapping at me!! smiled back until some mate sez " you aint got no knickers on" exit one red faced lass

sue

That's the best one yet BRAVO

[Guest Dirk Tiggler]

Hi marchja.wolves fan like me self...

Almost there Burt!!!! Sorry to abuse the thread Grant Ade

[grantdyche]

Almost there Burt!!!! Sorry to abuse the thread Grant Ade

No problems matey enjoy it while it lasts,But don't forget how to get to the grounds,you've been to this season,Because as sure,as is sure you will be revisiting them all soon,No doubt we will talk about this again at the of next season

Good Luck to the Wolves,they will need it!!!.lol

[harpo1]

Burslem around 2 years ago, in the foyer is a 10 foot tall model of a giant, an ad. for the forth coming "Jack and the Beanstalk" panto....Smokey walks into the modern room, onto the dancefloor with the 3 foot long hand from the giant, and proceeds to scratch his but with it to the disbelief of many, and the place just went wild....a classic....how many more tales are there revolving around Smokey, the funniest man i know

Priceless

[Guest JerryL]

Just an idea!!

Does anyone have any really funny or just strange tales to tell about the Northern Soul scene,

The funniest ever thing I saw at a Northern venue was circa 76-77,

The Ritz Manchester all dayer,

The live artists on stage included Evelyn Thomas, Barbara Pennington and LJ Johnson,

If you did'nt know the Ritz it had a revolving stage(so they could get more acts on quickly),

When it came to LJ's set singing "You're Magic Put A Spell On Me",

The roadies or whoever had set up his keyboards on the static part of the stage,and his seat on the rotating part,Half way through his set the stage starts to move and with it LJ's seat,

His face whilst trying to get back to the keyboards priceless

I Jumped into the splits and was carted out of the mecca with a fractured hip......LoL...had to spend 2 weeks in blackpool hospital and 2 weeks in my local hospital...Now at 53 I can do it even better...it still makes me laugh but at the time I thought I was Dyin!!

also...Hilton Park sunday morning I watched a girl with her leg sticking out...trip a punter up and he fell face first into his cooked breakfast......I absolutely fell to pieces along with half the ppl in the cafeteria...when you are overtired it was THE funniest thing and made me laugh out loud for weeks after...

Edited May 15, 2009 by JerryL

[Munchkin]

Mac from Wednesfield doing a spin in Mr M's and his glass eye falling out, everyone trying to find it on the floor

Remember it well, he was always losin it..

saw him last year his eye has grown back??????

[Munchkin]

ps the old souley who lost his change on the dance floor was Donald from Colley Gate at Pep's Black Horse Fri night do's back in the early 90's

Remember Donald, pissed my self laffin when he came up to me after not seeing him for a few years, to tell me that he was gay..... Gay i said you just found out weve all known for years. nice lad though...

[Pete S]

ps the old souley who lost his change on the dance floor was Donald from Colley Gate at Pep's Black Horse Fri night do's back in the early 90's

Remember Donald, pissed my self laffin when he came up to me after not seeing him for a few years, to tell me that he was gay..... Gay i said you just found out weve all known for years. nice lad though...

He said exactly the same to me Kev at Pep's do in Walsall, I said "Really?????" LOL

Do you remember at the Locarno when I somehow managed to pull that roller towel cabinet off the wall and into my face, split my nose open and Helen put a plaster over it to stop it bleeding, except the plaster was about 6 inches long and went right across my face like Adam Ant. The next day when the tablets had nearly wore off I went to hospital to get it stitched and I was told by a nurse to drop my trousers for an injection, I thought she was going to stick it in my arse so I took my trousers and pants off and stood there half naked like a lemon, and she says "It's ok Mr Smith, I'm only going to put it in your thigh"

[Guest nomad]

Mac from Wednesfield doing a spin in Mr M's and his glass eye falling out, everyone trying to find it on the floor

I remember this well, I think the funniest part about the whole hillarious incident was when the girl started sceaming because she thought it was looking at her!!!....priceless!

[TOAD]

HE ALLSO LOST HIS EYE AT A REDDITCH ALLNIGHTER AND THE LIGHTS HAD TO BE TURNED ON FOR HIM TO FIND IT !

[Guest nomad]

Heres one I just thought of... The Wolvo crowed were on the train going to a niter when Eddie from Penkridge decided to show off his new Pods he had just bought. Sonna(Darlo) managed to wrestle them from Eddies feet. Sonna then hung one of them outside the window of the train for a laugh!! We all thought this was well funny at the time...Eddie got a little upset to say the least but nothing can compare how upset he became when, to our amazement, we all watched, as if in slow motion, the said shoe sliding down the outside of the window....Then it just dissapeard!!! Everyone had just dropped their gear in readiness for the night.. You can imagine how paranoid Eddie became. All he could do all night was dance around in circles!!!

Nomad

[Guest nomad]

Does anyone on here know about the one when Harpo took a dancing flower to the Kings Hall and really pissed off Kev Roberts???

[Munchkin]

He said exactly the same to me Kev at Pep's do in Walsall, I said "Really?????" LOL

Do you remember at the Locarno when I somehow managed to pull that roller towel cabinet off the wall and into my face, split my nose open and Helen put a plaster over it to stop it bleeding, except the plaster was about 6 inches long and went right across my face like Adam Ant. The next day when the tablets had nearly wore off I went to hospital to get it stitched and I was told by a nurse to drop my trousers for an injection, I thought she was going to stick it in my arse so I took my trousers and pants off and stood there half naked like a lemon, and she says "It's ok Mr Smith, I'm only going to put it in your thigh"

pmsl, wasnt it you at stafford coming down the stairs saying squad were following you, We all laught at you thought paraniod git...

Think you got arrested that night ,,,,,,

[Munchkin]

HE ALLSO LOST HIS EYE AT A REDDITCH ALLNIGHTER AND THE LIGHTS HAD TO BE TURNED ON FOR HIM TO FIND IT !

remeber that tim he had it in is pocket all the time.....

[Munchkin]

Heres one I just thought of... The Wolvo crowed were on the train going to a niter when Eddie from Penkridge decided to show off his new Pods he had just bought. Sonna(Darlo) managed to wrestle them from Eddies feet. Sonna then hung one of them outside the window of the train for a laugh!! We all thought this was well funny at the time...Eddie got a little upset to say the least but nothing can compare how upset he became when, to our amazement, we all watched, as if in slow motion, the said shoe sliding down the outside of the window....Then it just dissapeard!!! Everyone had just dropped their gear in readiness for the night.. You can imagine how paranoid Eddie became. All he could do all night was dance around in circles!!!

Nomad

remember this too went to school with sona......

[Pete S]

pmsl, wasnt it you at stafford coming down the stairs saying squad were following you, We all laught at you thought paraniod git...

Think you got arrested that night ,,,,,,

Yeah, I was right wasn't I...I was standing halfway up the stairs and saying to every one who came in, don't look now but the guy at the bottom of thee stairs is Drug Squad, after I'd warned every single person who'd walked in, the guy came up to me and said he was sick of me telling everyone who he was and they arrested me

[munchkinette]

Burslem around 2 years ago, in the foyer is a 10 foot tall model of a giant, an ad. for the forth coming "Jack and the Beanstalk" panto....Smokey walks into the modern room, onto the dancefloor with the 3 foot long hand from the giant, and proceeds to scratch his but with it to the disbelief of many, and the place just went wild....a classic....how many more tales are there revolving around Smokey, the funniest man i know

Priceless

Remember going to The Raven in Whitchurch one night and it was so foggy you could hardly see a foot in front of the car anyway after picking Mick Vickers up we got there evenutally, a lot later on I was stood on the door with Helen when Smokey turned up and Helen said your late he said yeah we followed a coach on the motorway thinking it was going the same way and ended up in Wales everytime I see him now I think of that and end up in stitches.

Sharon

[Guest nomad]

I know this one is about Harpo again...its not a love thing.

Can anyone remember Prestatyn when Harpo had a whistle...was blowing it every time someone walked on the grass between the chalets. Some people thought he was some sort of official and actually kept off and even appolagised. This was ok at the time, but at 4 a.m. when he was wide awake waiting on his balcony for people unsuspectingly cutting corners was hillarious LMFAO. Some people were going to poke that whistle up his a......

Nomad

[Guest Dirk Tiggler]

ps the old souley who lost his change on the dance floor was Donald from Colley Gate at Pep's Black Horse Fri night do's back in the early 90's

Remember Donald, pissed my self laffin when he came up to me after not seeing him for a few years, to tell me that he was gay..... Gay i said you just found out weve all known for years. nice lad though...

Yes that's right, it was Donald but I was trying to protect his identity in case he comes on here As for being gay I didn't know that

I first saw him at Colley Gate Labour club about 1972/3, he's the sort of bloke who's, lets say, distinctive...I remember one night at the Labour club, the DJ (can't remember his name) was auctioning his decks off on the stage, Donald and two of his mates ended up winning the lot. Never seen him DJ so I don't know what became of that! Ade

[Munchkin]

Distinctive now your talking! remember his birthday bash when he got a "Black mommagram!!) one of the biggest coloured "ladies" i´d ever seen the look on Donalds face was worth a fortune.

great guy squeekyest voice on the scene male or female

Steve

psml. One of the west midlands characters on the scene..

[Jill Bayles]

Use to love Turning My Heartbeat Up, but me and my mates couldn't hear ( cos of the DJ was orally challenged,the

noise,or cos we were off it!) who it was by,so l thought f**k this and jumped on the stage(it was The Casino

so that wasn't easy!) The record was playing so l tried my best to see who it was with my head rotating

I jumped backed down and after it had finished l was surrounded by all my mates

"Who ls it?" They all asked

"The Mups" l replied....and so it was for the next couple of weeks at least...........

Now there's one I ain't heard before...classic

[Guest Scarborosoul]

One Sunday afternoon at the Ritz alldayer I decided it would be a good idea to stand on the rail that ran around the dance floor and jump off onto the floor, in doing so I jumped so high I smashed my head on a steel fire exit sign and cut it open (my head, not the sign), if anybody remembers John Grant (Dj) he helped me down to the toilets but I ended up going to Salford Royal hospital (as it was then) for stitches!!!

Quite prone to accidents eh Pete?? I refer to the spin at Crewe when I landed up against the bar and you nearly ended up with a broken arm..... I just thought "well that gotta have hurt"

Rick

[Peter]

Quite prone to accidents eh Pete?? I refer to the spin at Crewe when I landed up against the bar and you nearly ended up with a broken arm..... I just thought "well that gotta have hurt"

Rick

It's still yellow six weeks later (the arm that is)

[Guest aintgotit]

Not pokin fun at the bloke in question as i dont know his name, but at a togetherness nighter at kings hall in stoke, Little Sammy dee stood at side of dance floor ,and the guy dancing in front of him decides to do a hand stand, but as he puts his hands down his leg comes up ,and back heels sammy right in the knackers.nearly lifted him off his feet.Or another time at the hundred club, a bloke quite well known for his acrobatic dancing ,decides to kick a leg out to one side before going down to floor, only trouble is, in the way is a table with an open box of records and several beer bottles remember attempts to catch the beer but the records flew out like a pack of cards bein sprayed into the air, guy carries on his floor routine to its conclusion however .And finally just to show i,m as much of a twat, i m at 100 club at back of packed dancefloor with this girl sam dancing right next to me ,i went to try and spin but kind of leaning back way from her, my hand caught the heavy drape curtains and i bloody rolled myself neatly right up into em, I ended up peerin round em like eric morecambe to see her completely doubled up.Think she wrote about it in a fanzine ,thank christ she got my name wrong.

[cloth ears]

kings hall stoke last year, neil jones on the decks , floor absolutely rammed .

hes sorting out the next record from his box so he has his back to the crowd ,decks etc. suddenly the music stops mid tune!!!

neil turns round to find a guy on stage using his finger to stop the record so he can see what it was. PMSL!!!

[Guest garysoul82]

ps the old souley who lost his change on the dance floor was Donald from Colley Gate at Pep's Black Horse Fri night do's back in the early 90's

Remember Donald, pissed my self laffin when he came up to me after not seeing him for a few years, to tell me that he was gay..... Gay i said you just found out weve all known for years. nice lad though...

me dave rimmer and john weston got a lift offdonald from bretby one night.me and john had a good night on the burton ale.dave sat in the middle,started slapping us on the

back stating that we were wimps who couldnt take our ale.next thing i know,all the heavens let loose.all we heard donald say is i hope there not being sick in my new car.

Next morning our chins are well bruised through bouncing on the door frame and donald vowed never to let us near his car again.

[Dave Rimmer]

me dave rimmer and john weston got a lift offdonald from bretby one night.me and john had a good night on the burton ale.dave sat in the middle,started slapping us on the

back stating that we were wimps who couldnt take our ale.next thing i know,all the heavens let loose.all we heard donald say is i hope there not being sick in my new car.

Next morning our chins are well bruised through bouncing on the door frame and donald vowed never to let us near his car again.

I remember that night . It was when Chris Anderton was running Bretby, so it shows how long ago it was.

What made it worse was Donald's car was one of those old estate cars with the wooden frame, and when we got out there was spew all down both sides out it. We dropped you off somewhere in Brum and you staggered off into the night. Don't think I''ve seen you since. Did you get home ok ?

[Guest garysoul82]

me dave rimmer and john weston got a lift offdonald from bretby one night.me and john had a good night on the burton ale.dave sat in the middle,started slapping us on the

back stating that we were wimps who couldnt take our ale.next thing i know,all the heavens let loose.all we heard donald say is i hope there not being sick in my new car.

Next morning our chins are well bruised through bouncing on the door frame and donald vowed never to let us near his car again.

Dave,did manage to find my way home.Funny how you can manage this when youre drunk than you are sober sometimes.Got locked out ,so sang

Im on my way full blast on the hallway of the flats i lived in.THAT DID THE TRICK.

Great night mate,hope ill see you again soon.

[Pete Coulson]

a few years ago now at trentham gardens niter john weston djing, all of a sudden he''s dissapeared, suddenly reapears behind the stage, the stage did not reach the wall and he'd fell over the edge, just got back up and carried on as if nothing had happened, i was also on the floor, laughing, same spot later somebody haded him a piece of paper and he starts to read some car reg's asking if the owner could move them , there must have been about 20 on the list he must have lost about 10 mins of his spot, (i suspect it had something to do with dave rimmer) if so brilliant dave and i'm sure you could go on all night about john.

[Dave Rimmer]

a few years ago now at trentham gardens niter john weston djing, all of a sudden he''s dissapeared, suddenly reapears behind the stage, the stage did not reach the wall and he'd fell over the edge, just got back up and carried on as if nothing had happened, i was also on the floor, laughing, same spot later somebody haded him a piece of paper and he starts to read some car reg's asking if the owner could move them , there must have been about 20 on the list he must have lost about 10 mins of his spot, (i suspect it had something to do with dave rimmer) if so brilliant dave and i'm sure you could go on all night about john.

I remember that one as well, and yes like you Pete I was on the floor laughing. The reg numbers were nothing to do with me at all though.

I have a whole host of Johnny Weston stories, but it would be unfair of me to pick on him that way, so here's one at my expense.

Years ago at one of the Bretby niters I was asked if I planned my spot, and I rather blithely answered "No I just play whatever comes to hand, I'd play the spoons if I had any". A month later, just after I started my spot someone appeared with a plastic spoon and asked me to play it, then another one, then another, and another. Eventually people stopped coming up with spoons, they had knives, and forks, and even serviettes. By the end of my spot I must have had nearly sixty plastic utensils and serviettes and was helpless with laughter.

Well done to Gaye Kidson for setting it all up. I love the ones like that where a bit of planning goes into it

[Mike]

here's one wind up that dunno if possible , but if it is reckon be a good one

give one of your muckers who djs a hard to come by dub of something

but before getting it cut wack onto it that mosquito tone that they use to keep kids from hanging around outside shops

of course most wouldnt hear it but the bar staff or anyone with young ears would get the full effect

[Pete S]

here's one wind up that dunno if possible , but if it is reckon be a good one

give one of your muckers who djs a hard to come by dub of something

but before getting it cut wack onto it that mosquito tone that they use to keep kids from hanging around outside shops

of course most wouldnt hear it but the bar staff or anyone with young ears would get the full effect

You can download an 'app' that does that to go on your iphone, I tried it by switching it on when visiting the shops but it doesn't seem to affect any of the little bastards. Gave the dog the runs though.

[cloth ears]

nobody has mentioned mr westons spot at the marrs bar yet!!!!!!!! shall i leave it to you mr rimmer???? you were supposedto be lookin after him , wernt you?

[Dave Rimmer]

nobody has mentioned mr westons spot at the marrs bar yet!!!!!!!! shall i leave it to you mr rimmer???? you were supposedto be lookin after him , wernt you?

No no no no no no no no

Repeat after me....."Dave Rimmer is not responsible for John Weston"

[Paul McKay]

Dave Rimmer is not responsible....

Dave Rimmer is not responsible...

[cloth ears]

No no no no no no no no

Repeat after me....."Dave Rimmer is not responsible for John Weston"

methinks it was after the marrs bar incident you denied responsibility and had the cards printed LOL if only someone had videoed it for posterity!

[Ted Massey]

John reckons his drink was spiked that night lame excuse that John I asked if he wanted a drink and he had to ask Marrs Barr Pete what he was drinking

Edited July 7, 2009 by Tedsoul

[cloth ears]

I hope this is accurate ( dave please correct any details i have wrong)

we arrived at the marrs bar about 12.30 am ,went upto the record bar to find (most unusually) john lying fast asleep on a sofa, someone had drawn a large dartagnion style moustache and eyebrows etc on him!

when he did wake up he was talking to people not knowing about this, you could see them trying not to laugh. pmsl!

if that was all it would have been great, but john got worse ,staggering around etc ( we now think that some one had put something in his drink!)

pete kept putting his dj spot back hoping that he would be ok.

until john was last one. john weaved his way across the dance floor ( that took about ten minutes!!) tried 3 times to get on the stage, which is only about 12" high! by this time we were all p###ing ourselves. he crawled onto the stage on all fours managed to stand, lurched towards the decks where mick h was finishing his spot , mick looked at john then looked at the very expensive 45 which he was playing and thought "oh no" so he then finished his spot with one hand , the other holding john against the wall behind him like a rag doll.

neil jones came to johns rescue (we were all legless with laughter, incapable of doing much!) neil lasted about 30 minutes of this and then he called me over , i had to hold john up for the last 30 min as it looked like he had had all his bones removed!! at the end neil ducked out of sight with the mic and announced

" thank you all for dancing , john has had a great night, thanks" at this i lifted up his arm and waved it at the crowd, who were clapping and cheering john like a hero!!! which he is ( he didnt remember a thing about the night until he was told after)

twas a great night , thanks john love you lots mate

[Ian Parker]

The Funniest thing that i have ever seen at a soul night was a few years back, when an elderly gent went down to do a back drop, but could not get up again, then two of his mates were trying to help him up, but seem to have a few problems lifting him

Edited July 7, 2009 by soul-dancers