Poma Why ?

[harpo1]

since last thursday, that has been the question mostly asked by everyone who Paul and l have spoken to.

Sadly there are no answers, the one person who could truely answer this is no longer here, not sure he`d know the answer either.

We spoke in depth to Rob two weeks prior for nine hours, we listened to him, we advised him, we comforted him and cried with him. We did`nt have any answers for him , all we could offer him were our friendship and a safe place when he needed it.

While driving lastnight l decided to change the tape l was playing in the car, something other than soul music,cus it was too upsetting for me, it was dark and l pulled out a tape (non-soul). I could`nt believe what the 1st track was, god it reduced me to tears, l was crying that much l had to pull over, my daughter Sian was with me and she broke down too, also asking WHY?

The song........Dont Speak by No Doubt. ( Gwen Stafani)

I`ve written down the words and are going to share them with you, because they remind me of that night Paul and I spent with Rob(Poma)

You and me ,

We used to be together,

Everyday together,always

I really feel,

That lm losing my best friend,

I can`t believe,

This could be the end,

It looks as though you`re letting go,

And if its real then l dont want to know,

Dont speak,

I know just what you`re saying,

So please stop explaining,

Dont tell me cause it hurts,

Dont speak,

I know what you`re thinking,

I dont need your reasons,

Dont tell me cause it hurts,

Our memories,

They can be inviting,

But some are altogether,

MIGHTY FRIGHTENING,

As we die, both you and I,

With my head in my hands l sit and cry,

Dont speak,

I know just what you`re saying,

So please stop explaining,

Dont tell me cause it hurts

No,no,no,

Dont speak,

I know what you`re thinking,

And l dont need your reasons,

Dont tell me cause it hurts,

It`s all ending,

We gotta stop pretending who we are,

(WHO ARE WE ? )

You and me,

I can see us dying, are we???????????????????????????????

Dont speak,

I know just what you`re saying,

So please stop explaining,

Dont tell me cause it hurts,

No,no dont speak,

I know what your thinking,

And l dont need your reasons,

Dont tell me cause it hurts,

Dont tell me cause it hurts,

I know what your saying,

So please stop explaining,

Dont speak,dont speak,dont speak,

Oh l know what your thinking,

And l dont need your reasons,

I know you`re good,l know you`re good,

I know you real good.

Hush hush darling,

Hush hush darling,

Hush hush,dont tell me cause it hurts,

Hush hush darling

Hush hush darling

Hush hush,dont tell me cause it hurts.

It does hurt, it`s killing me, knowing how desparate Rob was, and failing to reach him, I want everyone to know l did try, l did my best, yet my best was`nt good enough, Paul tried,Sean tried, Sean sat with him night after night trying to reach him. Sean l know exactly how you`re feeling .

Please dont hold anyone to blame, its so tragic, just remember the good times we shared with Rob, remember his character and honour the music he loved so much, soul music, it touches your heart, and pulls on your emotions, especially at a time like this.

IN REMEMORANCE OF ROBERT POMROY AFFECTIONATELY KNOWN AS POMA,

YOU WILL ALWAYS LIVE ON IN MY HEART, YOU HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE,

BECAUSE YOU ARE SPECIAL. THANKYOU FOR BEING MY FRIEND,IT`S BEEN A HONOUR MATE.......................LOVE YOU ALWAYS.

Sandi xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Guest]

You are very brave writing this Sandi.

I don't think I ever knew Poma personally, but its obvious from your distress that he really was a very good friend

You need to stop berating yourself, and thinking that you could have done more. As a friend you did what you could.

I have had problems in the past and at that time NO-ONE could have said or done anything to alter any decisions that I made at that time. Yes I listened and took advice - but the whole time my mind was set on doing anything but what I was being told. It sounds as though Poma was in that same place.

Take time to bereave Sandi, but try not to dwell on the whys and what didn't I dos. If you think it will help try and get some counsilling. Talking to a complete stranger helps more than you think

Stay strong.

[Jellybean]

since last thursday, that has been the question mostly asked by everyone who Paul and l have spoken to.

Sadly there are no answers, the one person who could truely answer this is no longer here, not sure he`d know the answer either.

We spoke in depth to Rob two weeks prior for nine hours, we listened to him, we advised him, we comforted him and cried with him. We did`nt have any answers for him , all we could offer him were our friendship and a safe place when he needed it.

While driving lastnight l decided to change the tape l was playing in the car, something other than soul music,cus it was too upsetting for me, it was dark and l pulled out a tape (non-soul). I could`nt believe what the 1st track was, god it reduced me to tears, l was crying that much l had to pull over, my daughter Sian was with me and she broke down too, also asking WHY?

The song........Dont Speak by No Doubt. ( Gwen Stafani)

I`ve written down the words and are going to share them with you, because they remind me of that night Paul and I spent with Rob(Poma)

You and me ,

We used to be together,

Everyday together,always

I really feel,

That lm losing my best friend,

I can`t believe,

This could be the end,

It looks as though you`re letting go,

And if its real then l dont want to know,

Dont speak,

I know just what you`re saying,

So please stop explaining,

Dont tell me cause it hurts,

Dont speak,

I know what you`re thinking,

I dont need your reasons,

Dont tell me cause it hurts,

Our memories,

They can be inviting,

But some are altogether,

MIGHTY FRIGHTENING,

As we die, both you and I,

With my head in my hands l sit and cry,

Dont speak,

I know just what you`re saying,

So please stop explaining,

Dont tell me cause it hurts

No,no,no,

Dont speak,

I know what you`re thinking,

And l dont need your reasons,

Dont tell me cause it hurts,

It`s all ending,

We gotta stop pretending who we are,

(WHO ARE WE ? )

You and me,

I can see us dying, are we???????????????????????????????

Dont speak,

I know just what you`re saying,

So please stop explaining,

Dont tell me cause it hurts,

No,no dont speak,

I know what your thinking,

And l dont need your reasons,

Dont tell me cause it hurts,

Dont tell me cause it hurts,

I know what your saying,

So please stop explaining,

Dont speak,dont speak,dont speak,

Oh l know what your thinking,

And l dont need your reasons,

I know you`re good,l know you`re good,

I know you real good.

Hush hush darling,

Hush hush darling,

Hush hush,dont tell me cause it hurts,

Hush hush darling

Hush hush darling

Hush hush,dont tell me cause it hurts.

It does hurt, it`s killing me, knowing how desparate Rob was, and failing to reach him, I want everyone to know l did try, l did my best, yet my best was`nt good enough, Paul tried,Sean tried, Sean sat with him night after night trying to reach him. Sean l know exactly how you`re feeling .

Please dont hold anyone to blame, its so tragic, just remember the good times we shared with Rob, remember his character and honour the music he loved so much, soul music, it touches your heart, and pulls on your emotions, especially at a time like this.

IN REMEMORANCE OF ROBERT POMROY AFFECTIONATELY KNOWN AS POMA,

YOU WILL ALWAYS LIVE ON IN MY HEART, YOU HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE,

BECAUSE YOU ARE SPECIAL. THANKYOU FOR BEING MY FRIEND,IT`S BEEN A HONOUR MATE.......................LOVE YOU ALWAYS.

Sandi xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sandi that is so ~ heart wrenching ~ what you,ve said there!!! Please don,t beat yourself up about it!!! Just rest assured that you tried your very best to help Poma......you take care and i,ll see you soon sweetheart.

Helen xxxxxxxxxx

[BrianB]

Hi Sandi,

Any words to Poma would never have been enough. No words can ever make a difference when someone is in that dark place.

"Don't cry", "Cheer up", "Don't worry". Great words that are sometimes all we can offer someone in their time of need. It is all we can give.

It means nothing to them. They don't even hear them, but you bloody tried.

As Kirsty says, do not beat yourself up. You sound like the type of friend that we all need in challenging times.

You did everything you could. You should feel proud that you did not walk away.

All the best,

Brian

[Wiganer1]

Sandi that is so ~ heart wrenching ~ what you,ve said there!!! Please don,t beat yourself up about it!!! Just rest assured that you tried your very best to help Poma......you take care and i,ll see you soon sweetheart.

Helen xxxxxxxxxx

====

totally agree ....there is only so much a person can do as tragic as it is....you did your best ....

[Pete S]

Hi Sandi,

Any words to Poma would never have been enough. No words can ever make a difference when someone is in that dark place.

"Don't cry", "Cheer up", "Don't worry". Great words that are sometimes all we can offer someone in their time of need. It is all we can give.

It means nothing to them. They don't even hear them, but you bloody tried.

As Kirsty says, do not beat yourself up. You sound like the type of friend that we all need in challenging times.

You did everything you could. You should feel proud that you did not walk away.

All the best,

Brian

I agree with all of the above. I've suffered from depression and Brian is right, there's nothing that anyone can do or say to get you out of it, you can only do it yourself, some people manage it, others just can't. I must be the only person in Wolvo who didn't know Poma, if I did it would have been 20 odd years ago and I forgot so many people living away for so long, but I would like to add my condolensces, he sounded such a great guy.

[Mr Soul]

i can relate to this scenario,my late father suffered with depression over a number of years ,starting from the age of around the 40 mark.this is a very debilitating disease and he went through his own personal battle.some days he would appear to be fine but others were absolute hell.i can consider my self lucky,that he did get a lot better with the medication that was prescribeb and he went on to live a better life than he had been his personal hell all that time.sandi the one thing that everyone knows is that you cared for pomma.you can't beat yourself up or paul,what goes on in peoples deepest and darkest thoughts when they are alone is impossible to know out wardly they are in fine fettle.inside is turmoil.r.i.p. pomma old mate ,the worlds a much sadder place

[harpo1]

i can relate to this scenario,my late father suffered with depression over a number of years ,starting from the age of around the 40 mark.this is a very debilitating disease and he went through his own personal battle.some days he would appear to be fine but others were absolute hell.i can consider my self lucky,that he did get a lot better with the medication that was prescribeb and he went on to live a better life than he had been his personal hell all that time.sandi the one thing that everyone knows is that you cared for pomma.you can't beat yourself up or paul,what goes on in peoples deepest and darkest thoughts when they are alone is impossible to know out wardly they are in fine fettle.inside is turmoil.r.i.p. pomma old mate ,the worlds a much sadder place

Hello Woody, l know everyone is right, and l am really greatful for their encouraging words, it means alot to me that we still live in a world where people genuinly care.

In a way Rob has brought me and Sean closer than we have been in a long time, we all amble on in our own little worlds and sometimes forget whats important, this as made me take stock.

Give my love to Lou.

See you soon,

Love Sandi xxxxxxx