Tunes Suitable For Making Ashtrays Out Of

[Guest]

I probably will be auctioning my "Footsee" acetate at some point, but your trade offer is tempting. Then again, I have no idea what a work-in-progress acetate of "Footsee" will fetch, you never know what kind of value people will put on such a thing, taking nostalgia things into account etc.

And oh, the "Footsee" one is a metal acetate so you'll need a LOT of heat to make it into an ashtray!

Heat?i`ll bash it into shape!! I cant do Ebay........go on swap,you know you wanna`

PS About £30/40,i rekcon.

Edited May 29, 2007 by ken

[Jerry Hipkiss]

Actually, I like "The Lurch" for what it is - a bit of fun and nothing more. At least it's meant to be humorous. Can't see anything funny in Judith Durham, really...

...and that's the spirit in which it got a play or two at Yate, if I remember correctly, just a bit of FUN! Anything to crack a few people up...

[Guest TONY ROUNCE]

...and that's the spirit in which it got a play or two at Yate, if I remember correctly, just a bit of FUN! Anything to crack a few people up...

...rather like Mrs. Miller's "Lover's Concerto" in that respect. I think that these kind of records can be 'excused' on those grounds, really. Unlike some of the others mentioned in Malc's original post and elsewhere here

[Pete S]

hvoices of east harlem - Cashing In has got to be common ground for us (surely!).

Well yes, thats a great record - but the others are terrible. I do like several 70's records, honest - Towaway Zone, The Nights, High Voltage, Rock Candy, Love Factory that sort of thing just not the disco type

[Pete S]

The Superman comics I used to read as a child occasionally featured a race of aliens who are the opposite of everything we take for granted. In the minds of these perverse creatures down is up, right is wrong, ugliness is seen as beautiful and incredibly bad taste is prized over good - a complete mirror image of reality in fact.

These grotesques inhabit a totally square planet called 'Bizarro World', and on this distant planet - where everything rational, sensible (and soulful) is completely reversed - the Carstairs "It Really Hurts Me Girl" is considered to be "...the worst record ever played on the scene"

If I ever won the lottery I'd make it one of my missions to buy up every copy of the Carstairs record and when I'd got every copy I'd hold a huge bonfire I'd burn every single one of them, laughing hysterically as they go up in flames and I do the world a favour. Worst record ever.

[Sebastian]

Worst record ever.

Have you heard "Mascohistic Beauty" by Marvin Gaye?

I'll have to post it up for those who don't know it.

It's... bizarre... to say the least.

[Pete S]

The Superman comics I used to read as a child occasionally featured a race of aliens who are the opposite of everything we take for granted. In the minds of these perverse creatures down is up, right is wrong, ugliness is seen as beautiful and incredibly bad taste is prized over good - a complete mirror image of reality in fact.

These grotesques inhabit a totally square planet called 'Bizarro World', and on this distant planet - where everything rational, sensible (and soulful) is completely reversed - the Carstairs "It Really Hurts Me Girl" is considered to be "...the worst record ever played on the scene"

Why don't you just attempt to explain what it is that you like about this record and exactly why? Having heard it thousands of times (each time I hear it it gets worse) I still haven't discovered one redeeming factor. Apart from the run-off groove. Though being a superior being i.e. someone who attended the Mecca, you'll probably put it down to an ex-Wiganite just not understanding proper soul music, right?

[Guest TONY ROUNCE]

Have you heard "Mascohistic Beauty" by Marvin Gaye?

I'll have to post it up for those who don't know it.

It's... bizarre... to say the least.

I always think of this tune - in fact, this whole album - when I hear people saying "oh that Marvin Gaye, he's the greatest, never recorded a bad note of music"...

[Barry]

My ashtray would have to be (and I believe this is the only time I have ever bought a dodgy record )...Mingko - 'Love For You'....and I think I paid about £30 for it of ov Arthur bitd.

I listen to it now and am truly amazed at how vocally bad it is, how awful the instrumentation is (those keyboards AGHH!) and how weak the whole production is,, still can't believe I bought it.

[Guest]

I always think of this tune - in fact, this whole album - when I hear people saying "oh that Marvin Gaye, he's the greatest, never recorded a bad note of music"...

" MB " ..... Marvin Gaye does Bobby " Boris " Pickett ......

Not certain , but was it not MG's interpratation of the " song " that Shel Silverstein did on " Freakin' At The Freakers Ball ? .....

Malc Burton

Edited May 29, 2007 by Malc Burton

[Guest in town Mikey]

Why don't you just attempt to explain what it is that you like about this record and exactly why?

Fumbling thorugh my little black book

I came across your faded name

And I shook!

THATS when it hurts me girl

That is a hairstandingon end piece of soul poetry* Pete.

Class with a capital C.

*even if the lyrics say maiden name, never quite worked it out, as by that time I am in raptures.

[Barry]

Why don't you just attempt to explain what it is that you like about this record and exactly why? Having heard it thousands of times (each time I hear it it gets worse) I still haven't discovered one redeeming factor. Apart from the run-off groove. Though being a superior being i.e. someone who attended the Mecca, you'll probably put it down to an ex-Wiganite just not understanding proper soul music, right?

I know you're not Pete - but, are you taking the proverbial!?

As a piece of music and lyrically, it's a lovely track.

[Pete S]

I know you're not Pete - but, are you taking the proverbial!?

As a piece of music and lyrically, it's a lovely track.

Everyone sticks up for it but nobody can explain whats actually good about it. It's got one of the worst vocal performances I've ever heard.

[Barry]

Everyone sticks up for it but nobody can explain whats actually good about it. It's got one of the worst vocal performances I've ever heard.

Not that I'm that arsed to argue over it fella but...

"It's got one of the worst vocal performances I've ever heard."

....as against what? On the Northern scene or just generally?

[Pete S]

Not that I'm that arsed to argue over it fella but...

....as against what? On the Northern scene or just generally?

Take your pick. Sounds like they asked the studio janitor to stand in for the real singer. it's pointless us debating this really because I've despised this record for over 30 years and I'm not going to re-evaluate it now!

[Barry]

Take your pick. Sounds like they asked the studio janitor to stand in for the real singer. it's pointless us debating this really because I've despised this record for over 30 years and I'm not going to re-evaluate it now!

Fair do's Pete....just let the hate go mate.

[Pete S]

Fair do's Pete....just let the hate go mate.

Can't. I feel the same way about Margaret Thatcher...

[Barry]

Can't. I feel the same way about Margaret Thatcher...

Now, there we agree.

[Sebastian]

WTF ! ...........Do you laugh or cry ?

It's one of the worst recording ever.

You just have to laugh!

Especially like the english accent he's got going...

[Helena]

It's one of the worst recording ever.

You just have to laugh!

Especially like the english accent he's got going...

But the backing track isn't that bad...

"It's my duty to spank your booty". Quality!

[Guest martyn]

But the backing track isn't that bad...

"It's my duty to spank your booty". Quality!

Someone must have tampered with his Columbian that day

[SteveM]

Can't. I feel the same way about Margaret Thatcher...

Don't tell me Cleveland Horn put you out of work as well ?

[BrianB]

Everyone sticks up for it but nobody can explain whats actually good about it. It's got one of the worst vocal performances I've ever heard.

I agree its totally crap, but it is also responsible for creating a split in our scene that has never been resolved to this day.

Never been able to understand how and why records like this get played on the Northern Soul scene.

I was at Wigan and Blackpool when it was "discovered", and I used to cringe when it came on. Still feel the same way now.

[Pete S]

I agree its totally crap, but it is also responsible for creating a split in our scene that has never been resolved to this day.

Never been able to understand how and why records like this get played on the Northern Soul scene.

I was at Wigan and Blackpool when it was "discovered", and I used to cringe when it came on. Still feel the same way now.

Thank you Brian, just about sums it all up for me especially the first sentence. You'll be accused of being blinkered and standing in the way of progress next. They said that about Wolverhampton when they ripped down all the historic buildings and replaced them with modern eyesores. Progress isn't that great after all and it was better how it used to be in the first place!

[Gene-r]

If I ever won the lottery I'd make it one of my missions to buy up every copy of the Carstairs record and when I'd got every copy I'd hold a huge bonfire I'd burn every single one of them, laughing hysterically as they go up in flames and I do the world a favour. Worst record ever.

Making it the world's rarest Northern Soul record, with demand pushing the price up to £15,000!

[Guest Jamie]

Thank you Brian, just about sums it all up for me especially the first sentence. You'll be accused of being blinkered and standing in the way of progress next. They said that about Wolverhampton when they ripped down all the historic buildings and replaced them with modern eyesores. Progress isn't that great after all and it was better how it used to be in the first place!

This all goes to prove, as we say in Yorkshire, "Change Is Not Good For You"

[Guest Simon]

They said that about Wolverhampton when they ripped down all the historic buildings and replaced them with modern eyesores. Progress isn't that great after all and it was better how it used to be in the first place!

They're doing this in Brighton also, they're building some rite sh*te, Divs with no soul or sense of history, just fat councillors intent on making lots of dough no matter what!

Simon

[Peter99]

I agree its totally crap, but it is also responsible for creating a split in our scene that has never been resolved to this day.

I can understand some people not liking - or detesting the Carstairs track.

But holding it responsible for creating the split in our scene is bordering on paranoia - it's a piece of fcuking vinyl not the anti christ!

[Pete S]

They're doing this in Brighton also, they're building some rite sh*te, Divs with no soul or sense of history, just fat councillors intent on making lots of dough no matter what!

Simon

This was the central arcade in Wolverhampton, and following that is what they replaced it with

[Peter99]

This was the central arcade in Wolverhampton, and following that is what they replaced it with

It fcuking amazes me what developers and planners get away with!

[Ernie Andrews]

I* know I go on abit about these 2 records but for me the worst ever

1. Theme from the Coloured man

2. Theme from Police story

just utter crap and showed how low the scene would go just to keep the massess interested

Who the hell broke these 2 onto the scene in the 70s- I bet Mr Winstanley wes not far away!

[Peter99]

Has someone already mentioned the:

Joe 90 and the Hawai Five O rubbish.

:angry:

[Guest martyn]

I* know I go on abit about these 2 records but for me the worst ever

1. Theme from the Coloured man

2. Theme from Police story

just utter crap and showed how low the scene would go just to keep the massess interested

Who the hell broke these 2 onto the scene in the 70s- I bet Mr Winstanley wes not far away!

Police Story agreed,complete nonsense.Coloured Man,well,doesnt deserve to be held in quite the same contempt IMO (a Sam play if my memory serves me well ?)

[Peter99]

If I ever won the lottery I'd make it one of my missions to buy up every copy of the Carstairs record and when I'd got every copy I'd hold a huge bonfire I'd burn every single one of them, laughing hysterically as they go up in flames and I do the world a favour. Worst record ever.

Hey Pete

John Reed has just reduced the Carstairs track from £50 to £30. It's got to be worth buying at that price - just so you can burn the bugger!

[Barry]

it is also responsible for creating a split in our scene

....and if it wouldn't have been played, the split wouldn't have happened then?

.....and I quite like 'Colouredman'

[Wiganer1]

I* know I go on abit about these 2 records but for me the worst ever

1. Theme from the Coloured man

2. Theme from Police story

just utter crap and showed how low the scene would go just to keep the massess interested

Who the hell broke these 2 onto the scene in the 70s- I bet Mr Winstanley wes not far away!

====

2 great records there ...gold old masses thats what i say...and good old russ!!

[Pete S]

I* know I go on abit about these 2 records but for me the worst ever

1. Theme from the Coloured man

2. Theme from Police story

just utter crap and showed how low the scene would go just to keep the massess interested

Who the hell broke these 2 onto the scene in the 70s- I bet Mr Winstanley wes not far away!

First person to play Coloured Man - at Wigan anyway - was Alan Rhodes

[Koolkat]

Blanche Carter. Halos are for angels. Utter crap. Remember Mr Searling playing it about 5 times a night circa 1975ish at Wigan. Remember thinking what the hell is this shite? Still do.

[Guest kelvinx]

Someone must have tampered with his Columbian that day

Bloody Nora!,Ive never heard that before,was it released?I suppose even great artists make the odd duff track but that is beyond belief!

[Godzilla]

I* know I go on abit about these 2 records but for me the worst ever

1. Theme from the Coloured man

2. Theme from Police story

Has someone already mentioned the:

Joe 90 and the Hawai Five O rubbish.

:angry:

Ahh this old chestnut. You have four excellent theme tunes there. Not soul, and I can see the arguement that states that they should never have been played on the soul scene. Doesn't make them bad records though. In fact I've heard plenty of soul records that, judged as soul records are a lot worse than those four if they were judged purely as theme tunes.

Imagine telling Barry Gray that Joe 90 is a crap theme tune because it's not soul music It's up there with his other themes like Thunderbirds, Stingray or Captain Scarlet - it's just that these others don't get knocked because they were never played at soul venues. Blame the DJs - not the tunes I say!

Godz

ps Police Story has "Theme From The Magician" on the flip - another winner!

[Guest soultan]

Has someone already mentioned the:

Joe 90 and the Hawai Five O rubbish.

:angry:

you are spot on there bro.

CARSTAIRS

i dont see carstairs or magic night as a very offensive sound. now if you said bill-space lady or c b overton-superstar lady, i'd say yeh more of a disco connection (i like the tunes anyway).

SCENE SPLIT

for me the biggest differentiation is the use of digital equipment (samplers/synths/drum machines/effects/digital recording desks and mediums). i think i could better understand your distain if that was your direction. although, personally i'd argue for these too. there may have to be a split from the split.....

that said, nothing better than pots and pans recorded on a 4 track in the front room.

for me,most often, the deciding element is that it aint a bunch of white guys with guitars. not wanting to be racist, but thats my general rule (with obvious exceptions). thats what seems to float my boat.

be happy

[Pete S]

Ahh this old chestnut. You have four excellent theme tunes there. Not soul, and I can see the arguement that states that they should never have been played on the soul scene. Doesn't make them bad records though. In fact I've heard plenty of soul records that, judged as soul records are a lot worse than those four if they were judged purely as theme tunes.

Imagine telling Barry Gray that Joe 90 is a crap theme tune because it's not soul music It's up there with his other themes like Thunderbirds, Stingray or Captain Scarlet - it's just that these others don't get knocked because they were never played at soul venues. Blame the DJs - not the tunes I say!

Godz

ps Police Story has "Theme From The Magician" on the flip - another winner!

Going a bit off topic here but Godz you may be interested to know this: my girlfriend Davina, her Fathers brother is named Ronald Cameron and he's a famous sculptor, mainly does bronzes. Anyway in the 60's he did the modelling for Joe 90 i.e. he made the joe 90 puppets, and Joe 90 himself was based on Davina's brother Neil. There was also a very shortlived childrens comic called Candy which was 21st Century related and he did the modelling for that as well.

[Godzilla]

Going a bit off topic here but Godz you may be interested to know this: my girlfriend Davina, her Fathers brother is named Ronald Cameron and he's a famous sculptor, mainly does bronzes. Anyway in the 60's he did the modelling for Joe 90 i.e. he made the joe 90 puppets, and Joe 90 himself was based on Davina's brother Neil. There was also a very shortlived childrens comic called Candy which was 21st Century related and he did the modelling for that as well.

Ace! I love trivia like this. Any pics of the work?

When I used to put bands on at my venue we had a London based outfit called Love Train a couple of times. Best Disco band I've ever seen, did parties for Mick Jagger and people like that. The lead singer turned out to be the son of Francis Matthews - the voice of Captain Scarlet. He told his dad and I got loads of signed stuff through the post

Godz

[Pete S]

Ace! I love trivia like this. Any pics of the work?

Fraid not, only the one copy of Candy Comic and photographic proof that Neil was Joe 90! Apparently Uncle Ron chucked everything away, the models, costumes, drawings, everything!

(Just to prove this guy does exist https://www.royallfineart.co.uk/ronald_cameron.htm)

[Guest Polyvelts]

I reckon the Carstairs is well soulful and to tell the truth I quite like Space Lady as well ! But to try and tell you why I like them or what's so good about them is damn near impossible !! I like swimming in the sea too - but God knows why ! It just feels good baby !!!!

But going back to the question - Ashtray material for me is 'looking for a woman" - rubbish !!!

[Jerry Hipkiss]

But going back to the question - Ashtray material for me is 'looking for a woman" - rubbish !!!

One ear syringe on its way to ya

Hippo.

[Pete S]

One ear syringe on its way to ya

Hippo.

Make that two, one for each ear

[Pjf]

I like the Judith Durham record! Not as a Northern record or anything, it's just got a nice tune with some excellent chord changes and a lovely vocal.

Worst record ever played on the scene has to be The Carstairs - It Really Hurts me Girl.

carstairs classic,even when i hear it today killer tune

[grant]

Hi Pete .....

I was not having a go a JD ; I still cannot fathom why the record was played ......

My late Mum was a fan of The Seekers , and have fond memories of their records being played in our home .....

Just being curious ......

What price does JD fetch - god willing somebody wanting it - nowadays ?

Malc Burton

Cant say i remember the Judith Durham track from Wigan, soundclip anyone?

[Guest Polyvelts]

One ear syringe on its way to ya

Hippo.

Ha Ha, Never went for the shooting up thing, always thought it was a bit heavy !! But in your ear !!! Now that is Hardcore !