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Posted

JAMES COIT - BLACK POWER

A lunatic escapes from an asylum and somehow finds his way into a recording studio. This is what results. You wouldn't like him when he's angry.

J.C. MESSINA - TIME WON'T LET ME

This guy sings like a neanderthal man chewing a hedgehog

GEORGE LEMONS - FASCINATING GIRL

Arranger: hey, I know what would improve this record, let's get a couple of violinists in to add some sweetness. What, we don't have any violinists? OK, you two binmen over there, pick up those fiddles up and try and keep in time. Oh and George? If you could sing like someone's just kicked you in the gonads, that would be great.

JIMMY DELPHS - DANCING A HOLE IN THE WORLD

Jimmy, we've got some good news and some bad news for you, you won't be able to dance a hole in the world any more because we are going to have to amputate your feet. But there is some good news...the guy in the next bed wants to buy your slippers.

Oh, and also, congratulations, you have knocked the Birdie Song off the number 1 spot of worst record ever made. So a good day all round.

THE TOPICS - HAVE YOUR FUN

The band play one tune, the singers sing another. Utterly inept.

BUDDY SMITH - WHEN YOU LOSE THE ONE YOU LOVE

The first line of this appears to be "wwwwiiiibbblewillllbbbwibble", apparently sung by Joey Deacon in a language not yet discovered by western civilaztion. I've never heard the rest of the song because it bored me to sleep after 10 seconds. Music to watch paint dry by.

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Posted

BUDDY SMITH - WHEN YOU LOSE THE ONE YOU LOVE

The first line of this appears to be "wwwwiiiibbblewillllbbbwibble", apparently sung by Joey Deacon in a language not yet discovered by western civilaztion. I've never heard the rest of the song because it bored me to sleep after 10 seconds. Music to watch paint dry by.

:thumbsup: Sounds like "Whymziggadawhaa" to me

Posted

JAMES COIT - BLACK POWER

A lunatic escapes from an asylum and somehow finds his way into a recording studio. This is what results. You wouldn't like him when he's angry.

J.C. MESSINA - TIME WON'T LET ME

This guy sings like a neanderthal man chewing a hedgehog

GEORGE LEMONS - FASCINATING GIRL

Arranger: hey, I know what would improve this record, let's get a couple of violinists in to add some sweetness. What, we don't have any violinists? OK, you two binmen over there, pick up those fiddles up and try and keep in time. Oh and George? If you could sing like someone's just kicked you in the gonads, that would be great.

JIMMY DELPHS - DANCING A HOLE IN THE WORLD

Jimmy, we've got some good news and some bad news for you, you won't be able to dance a hole in the world any more because we are going to have to amputate your feet. But there is some good news...the guy in the next bed wants to buy your slippers.

Oh, and also, congratulations, you have knocked the Birdie Song off the number 1 spot of worst record ever made. So a good day all round.

THE TOPICS - HAVE YOUR FUN

The band play one tune, the singers sing another. Utterly inept.

BUDDY SMITH - WHEN YOU LOSE THE ONE YOU LOVE

The first line of this appears to be "wwwwiiiibbblewillllbbbwibble", apparently sung by Joey Deacon in a language not yet discovered by western civilaztion. I've never heard the rest of the song because it bored me to sleep after 10 seconds. Music to watch paint dry by.

Blimey! we usually have very similar tastes Mr. Smith, i don't know the J.C. Messina but i really like all the others especially The Topics, one of my all time wants!

Simon :thumbsup:

Posted

JAMES COIT - BLACK POWER

A lunatic escapes from an asylum and somehow finds his way into a recording studio. This is what results. You wouldn't like him when he's angry.

J.C. MESSINA - TIME WON'T LET ME

This guy sings like a neanderthal man chewing a hedgehog

GEORGE LEMONS - FASCINATING GIRL

Arranger: hey, I know what would improve this record, let's get a couple of violinists in to add some sweetness. What, we don't have any violinists? OK, you two binmen over there, pick up those fiddles up and try and keep in time. Oh and George? If you could sing like someone's just kicked you in the gonads, that would be great.

JIMMY DELPHS - DANCING A HOLE IN THE WORLD

Jimmy, we've got some good news and some bad news for you, you won't be able to dance a hole in the world any more because we are going to have to amputate your feet. But there is some good news...the guy in the next bed wants to buy your slippers.

Oh, and also, congratulations, you have knocked the Birdie Song off the number 1 spot of worst record ever made. So a good day all round.

THE TOPICS - HAVE YOUR FUN

The band play one tune, the singers sing another. Utterly inept.

BUDDY SMITH - WHEN YOU LOSE THE ONE YOU LOVE

The first line of this appears to be "wwwwiiiibbblewillllbbbwibble", apparently sung by Joey Deacon in a language not yet discovered by western civilaztion. I've never heard the rest of the song because it bored me to sleep after 10 seconds. Music to watch paint dry by.

I agree with all exept Buddy Smith , I used to dislike it until it was played at Nige's funeral and I must say it was quite emotional.......................................................................

........................the rest SHITE

Posted

GEORGE LEMONS - FASCINATING GIRL

Arranger: hey, I know what would improve this record, let's get a couple of violinists in to add some sweetness. What, we don't have any violinists? OK, you two binmen over there, pick up those fiddles up and try and keep in time. Oh and George? If you could sing like someone's just kicked you in the gonads, that would be great.

Pete... i am helpless here... that is the funniest thing i've read in a long time... just brill! :thumbsup:

Even if i did like the record... i'd still find that the funniest thing ever!!

Posted

the records that make me me go bleeurgh,are:

1) Pick me up and put me in your pocket-Jeanette Harper

2)Love Bandit-Keanya Collins

3)Loving on the losing side-Tommy Hunt

4)Pappa ooh mow mow-Sharonettes

5)Cracking up over you-Tommy Hunt

6) Fools paradise- Jeanette Harper again, (i think)

Delxx

Posted

:P Sounds like "Whymziggadawhaa" to me

Wasn't that the Spice Girls? :thumbsup:

Posted

the records that make me me go bleeurgh,are:

1) Pick me up and put me in your pocket-Jeanette Harper

2)Love Bandit-Keanya Collins

3)Loving on the losing side-Tommy Hunt

4)Pappa ooh mow mow-Sharonettes

5)Cracking up over you-Tommy Hunt

6) Fools paradise- Jeanette Harper again, (i think)

Delxx

Ah but slight difference Del, most of the ones I've quoted, well at least 4 of them, are absolutely deited by collectors and dj's. Well ones with bad taste anyway. The ones you listed have always been sh*t. except for Put Me In Your Pocket which is quaint.

Posted

JUST SO HAPPENS IVE ACTUALLY GOT GEORGE LEMONS

Why ?

Is it to scare cats away or frighten the local kids with?

Derek

Posted

I had one last list, you ought to read the lists I put up!

Sorry Pete, am actually on self enforced vinyl stavation regime at the mo' what with a US trip comin' up, thats why I've not been scouring record lists lately.

My previous post was then somewhat flippant. BTW 'ow much was it?

And er 'ave you still got it?

Cheers Paul

Posted

CAME TO ME IN A TRADE YEARS AGO....ITS GOT TO BE THE BEST COPY IN THE WORLD.....COZ ITS TOTALLY KNACKERED & UNPLAYABLE

Best condition possible then :thumbsup:

Derek


Posted

Sorry Pete, am actually on self enforced vinyl stavation regime at the mo' what with a US trip comin' up, thats why I've not been scouring record lists lately.

My previous post was then somewhat flippant. BTW 'ow much was it?

And er 'ave you still got it?

Cheers Paul

i bought the james coit promo - a bargain. great for framing.

Posted

i bought the james coit promo - a bargain. great for framing.

I have to say - that is a pretty rare white demo - others may disagree but it's the first one I've seen. Another really nice and I think extremely hard to find white demo is E Rodney Jones - r & B Time, which by strange coincidence is on my list next week (or it was til I sold it earlier). Dead rare though...looks great too. A lot of records look better than they sound.

Posted

Ah but slight difference Del, most of the ones I've quoted, well at least 4 of them, are absolutely deited by collectors and dj's. Well ones with bad taste anyway. The ones you listed have always been sh*t. except for Put Me In Your Pocket which is quaint.

Still hate them all, Delxx

Posted

WHAT!? Still no mention of Larry Houston or Danny Hunt... :unsure::shades:

Larry Houston,what planet you on? :shades:

Posted

WHAT!? Still no mention of Larry Houston or Danny Hunt... :unsure::shades:

I've run out of expletives to describe the hideous Larry Houston I'm afraid. But I don't think I know what the Danny Hunt is.

Posted (edited)

I've run out of expletives to describe the hideous Larry Houston I'm afraid. But I don't think I know what the Danny Hunt is.

I just remembered some "sales talk" on one of your old lists from about 5 years ago... I actually still have it here somewhere... ah, found it:

DANNY HUNT - WHAT'S HAPPENING TO OUR LOVE AFAIR - DYNAMITE EX- £5

LARRY HOUSTON - LET'S SPEND SOME TIME TOGETHER - HFMP EX £5

No wonder Wigan was dying on it's feet when this crap was being played. Aswith most 70's soul records, this and the one above it ought to be melteddown into something useful.

Top stuff. :unsure:

I think I bought both of those records from you from that list and that's probably why I remember it. :shades:

Love that Danny Hunt 45, recently dug it out again and can't stop playing it. :shades:

Edited by Sebastian
Posted (edited)

I just remembered some "sales talk" on one of your old lists from about 5 years ago... I actually still have it here somewhere... ah, found it:

DANNY HUNT - WHAT'S HAPPENING TO OUR LOVE AFAIR - DYNAMITE EX- £5

LARRY HOUSTON - LET'S SPEND SOME TIME TOGETHER - HFMP EX £5

No wonder Wigan was dying on it's feet when this crap was being played. Aswith most 70's soul records, this and the one above it ought to be melteddown into something useful.

Top stuff. :unsure:

I think I bought both of those records from you from that list and that's probably why I remember it. :shades:

Love that Danny Hunt 45, recently dug it out again and can't stop playing it. :shades:

PMSL

The only record dealer that would slag off his own sales.....brilliant... :lol:

Edited by Rugby Soul Club
Posted

BUDDY SMITH - WHEN YOU LOSE THE ONE YOU LOVE

The first line of this appears to be "wwwwiiiibbblewillllbbbwibble", apparently sung by Joey Deacon in a language not yet discovered by western civilaztion. I've never heard the rest of the song because it bored me to sleep after 10 seconds. Music to watch paint dry by.

:unsure: Even Nige who loved this would have roared with laughter...must admit used to annoy him by singing this very loudly with dreadful lisp

Posted

I just remembered some "sales talk" on one of your old lists from about 5 years ago... I actually still have it here somewhere... ah, found it:

DANNY HUNT - WHAT'S HAPPENING TO OUR LOVE AFAIR - DYNAMITE EX- £5

LARRY HOUSTON - LET'S SPEND SOME TIME TOGETHER - HFMP EX £5

No wonder Wigan was dying on it's feet when this crap was being played. Aswith most 70's soul records, this and the one above it ought to be melteddown into something useful.

Top stuff. :unsure:

I think I bought both of those records from you from that list and that's probably why I remember it. :shades:

Love that Danny Hunt 45, recently dug it out again and can't stop playing it. :shades:

:lol::lol:

ah those were the days...and what a memory you've got!

Posted

No wonder I couldn't remember ever having it. Must have been made as a bet.

Mortimer and Randolph Duke are commodity brokers who enjoy a little wager now and then. For the latest bet, Randolph believes they can take a common person and make him a successful soul singer. They choose Danny Hunt, who unfortunately sings like a fish.

sings like a fish :unsure: you've a way with words Pete I'll give you that :shades:

Posted (edited)

You've already highlighted my top contender for the worst record ever played on the scene (Fascinating Girl, although his version of Uphill Climb to the Bottom is EVEN better, if you see what I mean).

My second 'favourite' is Penny Gold - Lindy Stevens (Decca). I don't even think Lindy's mum could like this. Truly shocking to think this was played out and even made it onto a Kent LP.

Edited by sweeney
Posted

You've already highlighted my top contender for the worst record ever played on the scene (Fascinating Girl, although his version of Uphill Climb to the Bottom is EVEN better, if you see what I mean).

My second 'favourite' is Penny Gold - Lindy Stevens (Decca). I don't even think Lindy's mum could like this. Truly shocking to think this was played out and even made it onto a Kent LP.

That was a record that was supposed to be big when I first started going to Wigan, appeared in top 20's etc, but I never actually heard it til it came out on Kent Floorshakers! It's harmless enough...I think it's from a film of the same name.

Guest bleusuperb
Posted

Ah but slight difference Del, most of the ones I've quoted, well at least 4 of them, are absolutely deited by collectors and dj's. Well ones with bad taste anyway. The ones you listed have always been sh*t. except for Put Me In Your Pocket which is quaint.

1.Lady in Green Magnetics

2.Lady in Green Magnetics

3.Lady in Green Magnetics

4.Lady in Green Magnetics

Tied for 5th and 6th spot Lady in Green Magnetics

When I first heard this I thought it was truly awful but some posters on this site seemed to rate it highly, thinking I was perhaps being hasty, or missing something, I listened again, it was even worse the second listen and, so turgid, I could not bring myself to play it all the way through, same day some kind soul sends me six mp3s by email and this crap was one of them, it haunts me.


Posted

Here's a top contender has to be Blanch Carter - Halo's Are For Angles........aweful record!

Regards - Mark Bicknell.

Just thought of two more....Barbara Mills - Queen Of Fools and April Stevens - Wanting You.....these two will possibly upset one or two people but yuck!!!!

Regards - Mark Bicknell.

Posted

Just thought of two more....Barbara Mills - Queen Of Fools and April Stevens - Wanting You.....these two will possibly upset one or two people but yuck!!!!

Regards - Mark Bicknell.

Jon Buck likes playing April Stevens. Unfortunately I dont like listening to it. So if your reading this JB please please please do the decent thing and smash it to bits.

Posted

6 records i dislike with a passion...

I'm a big man - big daddy bloke

Sugar Dumpling - sam cooke?

Loving by the pound - otis bloke

that awful vocal to an old instrumental 'just a little faith and understanding'

love is a serious business - alfie bloke

are you ready for this - brothers?

thats for starters. i wish pete would have asked for 50 :unsure:

Shane

Posted

Just thought of two more....Barbara Mills - Queen Of Fools and April Stevens - Wanting You.....these two will possibly upset one or two people but yuck!!!!

Regards - Mark Bicknell.

Just like to add this on a more serious note, i suddenly thought that some people may like some of the records mentioned so to them i love April Stevens really....lol

Mark Bicknell.

Posted (edited)

i bought the james coit promo - a bargain. great for framing.

Heres another idea for James Coit

I really can't stress how friggin' easy this is. Set oven temperature of 200F.

Put a bowl upside-down on a cookie sheet, whack the record on top, and set it in the oven for about five minutes.

Pull it out (use a hotpad or you'll burn yourself!), whip off the flimsy record, and shove it down inside another bowl to mold it.

They don't give off toxic fumes or anything, and they don't get melty enough that you see fingerprints.

You've only got a few seconds to work with it though, so be quick.

I think I'm going to glue some marbles to the bottom to act as legs and use a piece of tape to cover up the hole.

Voila! Ultra trendy potato chip bowls

recordbowls_sm.jpg(post-1219-1157370665.

Edited by Soulsmith
Posted

1.Lady in Green Magnetics

2.Lady in Green Magnetics

3.Lady in Green Magnetics

4.Lady in Green Magnetics

Tied for 5th and 6th spot Lady in Green Magnetics

When I first heard this I thought it was truly awful but some posters on this site seemed to rate it highly, thinking I was perhaps being hasty, or missing something, I listened again, it was even worse the second listen and, so turgid, I could not bring myself to play it all the way through, same day some kind soul sends me six mp3s by email and this crap was one of them, it haunts me.

Got to confess to loving 'Lady In Green' :D

here's five though that should be confined to being turned into ashtrays:-

1. Bill Bush - I'm Waiting

2. Johnny Taylor - Blues In The Night (WHAT AN AWFUL INTRO)

3. Mr Soul - What Happened To Yesterday :thumbsup:

4. Joe Valentine - I Lost The Only Love I Ever Had (petty he didnt los his friggin' voice at the same time)

5. Bob Relf - Blowin' My Mind To Pieces

........could go on an on really :D

Guest mrs norman maine
Posted

Don't know what it's called or who it's by, as I've tried not to let it get inside my head. But, here's some clues & maybe someone can enlighten me:

  • Female R'nB.
  • Part of the lyrics go..."to appreciate me baby just knock on wood"...... I think.
  • sounds like Ethel 'there's no business like show business' Merman getting tangled up in her own knicker elastic.

ugh!!

Sorry, I know you asked for 5, but just thinking about this has put me such a mood... I'd better not do any more or I'd never stop...

Posted

Don't know what it's called or who it's by, as I've tried not to let it get inside my head. But, here's some clues & maybe someone can enlighten me:
  • Female R'nB.
  • Part of the lyrics go..."to appreciate me baby just knock on wood"...... I think.
  • sounds like Ethel 'there's no business like show business' Merman getting tangled up in her own knicker elastic.

ugh!!

Sorry, I know you asked for 5, but just thinking about this has put me such a mood... I'd better not do any more or I'd never stop...

Patience Valentine - If You Don't Come - SAR :thumbsup: Ethel Merman indeed :D

Funny I love this tune mind you this early R&B isd not to everyones taste.

Guest vinylvixen
Posted

I've run out of expletives to describe the hideous Larry Houston I'm afraid. But I don't think I know what the Danny Hunt is.

Isn't a Danny Hunt Mockney Rhyming
:thumbsup:
Pete, you are the funniest man on the planet......I am overcome with mirth..thanks for posting this
:D
Couldn't you put the slippers on Ebay
:D
Jo

Guest vinylvixen
Posted

6 records i dislike with a passion...

I'm a big man - big daddy bloke

Sugar Dumpling - sam cooke?

Loving by the pound - otis bloke

that awful vocal to an old instrumental 'just a little faith and understanding'

love is a serious business - alfie bloke

are you ready for this - brothers?

thats for starters. i wish pete would have asked for 50
:D

Shane

Are you ready for this - that would be the Bloke Brothers then
:thumbsup:
Jo

Guest Andy BB
Posted

sorry andy my old mucker but

CITY LIGHTS....WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP.

i hate this record more than jehovah witnesses knocking on christmas day!

Ha Ha

You're not alone by any means. Obviously I Love It - then again as a poor little snot-nosed Mod kid all I had was the Kent albums and I used to hammer the Right back Where We Started From album which just pipped On The Soul Side and Soul Spin for me. Meanwhile my friends would be insisting I get away from the bloody decks so they could put something else on (some things just never change).

:thumbsup:

For the fairly expensive record I hate most my vote would easily go to

Jackie Day - Naughty Boy

Guest TONY ROUNCE
Posted

God, how I hope never to hear any of these again:

1. Cashing In - VOEH - the most overexposed record in the history of both Northern and Modern Soul.

2. Too Much Love Making - Gloria Scott - She's got a case of too much over-playing...

3. Don't Send Nobody Else - Ace Spectrum - if you can't come yourself, that works for me...

4. Is She In Your Town - Curtis Lee - hope not, otherwise I'm off to 'Your Move'

5. Born A Loser - Don Ray - and still a loser, a record where the only redeeming feature is the run out groove

6. I Love Her So Much It Hurts Me - either version. A once-wonderful record that should have been put out to grass years ago instead of being used as a failsafe by DJ's who don't have the nous to find something less obvious to fill a floor with...

TONE :angry:

Posted

4. Is She In Your Town - Curtis Lee - hope not, otherwise I'm off to 'Your Move'

Ah don't say that, I've got a mint demo I need to sell!

p.s. Don Ray is fantastic

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