Do You Like To Feel Welcome

[barney]

over the the last couple of months we have been to new to us venues and  the welcome we have had as been varied from total indifference to  warm heartfelt appreciation for attending .

looking around the rooms have noticed all of these venues are populated by promo resident djs and their mates and a smattering of regulars and not going to use any derogatory term but people who are not soulies,

 

well angie and me know loads of people and always drop on someone we know and are immediately made room for at a table

however this is not the case for strangers . 

with an eye on the demographics ie, a mainly 50 plus year olds and falling attendances at these venues surely its in the promoters/dj,s  interests

to make people welcome and not ignore them as are the cases I have seen recently where a group of youngish women were totally ignored after they had requested some motown several times , they attempted to get on the floor but were lost. 

I have witnessed this at several venues and we have always tried to talk to these people ,but sometimes they go away disappointed never to return .

my point is , if you have the wherewithal its easy to put on an event invite ya besties to dj get decent guest djs and expect your mates and locals to attend ,then sit around the door chatting with your mates or hanging around the decks or for sale boxes totally oblivious to the punters especially people new to the venue .

so come try harder and make newbies feel welcome .

 

disclaimer

not all venues are like this and have been made to feel more than welcome at some new to us venues ,

 

[Guest Matt Male]

I'm not sure what you are saying about the women requesting Motown and being ignored. Maybe Motown wasn't really right for the event. Are you saying a venue should change what it plays to make anyone and everyone welcome? What if they'd requested One Direction?

 

If any event is properly advertised music-wise and someone turns up expecting to hear something different and is disappointed I don't see that as the promoter or DJs fault. Everywhere isn't for everyone, that's why we have so many places to go.

 

I totally agree new people should be made to feel welcome. When I ran a little soul night I made a point of talking to anyone who turned up that I didn't know, but equally people who go anywhere should be prepared to fit in.

[Zed1]

If anything I'd say the scene has been TOO welcoming in recent years, These days it seems more about the social side than the music.

Edited October 12, 2013 by Zed1

[Len]

The (What I call) 'Welcoming Committee' on the door is extremely important - It puts people in the right frame of mind (appreciated), and I don't mean 'over the top' as that isn't genuine.

 

I know what you mean mate.

 

All the best,

 

Len  

[barney]

I'm not sure what you are saying about the women requesting Motown and being ignored. Maybe Motown wasn't really right for the event. Are you saying a venue should change what it plays to make anyone and everyone welcome? What if they'd requested One Direction?

 

If any event is properly advertised music-wise and someone turns up expecting to hear something different and is disappointed I don't see that as the promoter or DJs fault. Everywhere isn't for everyone, that's why we have so many places to go.

 

I totally agree new people should be made to feel welcome. When I ran a little soul night I made a point of talking to anyone who turned up that I didn't know, but equally people who go anywhere should be prepared to fit in.

matt

am not saying venues should play anything out of what they would normally play but maybe if one of the organisers had come over and spoke to them they could have been accommodated , I talked to them myself and they were not ignorant wrt northern soul and motown and some motown was played ,,

[barney]

If anything I'd say the scene has been TOO welcoming in recent years, These days it seems more about the social side than the music.

so that's it then

we should all go out sip our bottles of water , and listen and dance to the music

 

you there at the back , no talking ,,

[Harry Crosby]

over the the last couple of months we have been to new to us venues and  the welcome we have had as been varied from total indifference to  warm heartfelt appreciation for attending .

looking around the rooms have noticed all of these venues are populated by promo resident djs and their mates and a smattering of regulars and not going to use any derogatory term but people who are not soulies,

 

well angie and me know loads of people and always drop on someone we know and are immediately made room for at a table

however this is not the case for strangers . 

with an eye on the demographics ie, a mainly 50 plus year olds and falling attendances at these venues surely its in the promoters/dj,s  interests

to make people welcome and not ignore them as are the cases I have seen recently where a group of youngish women were totally ignored after they had requested some motown several times , they attempted to get on the floor but were lost. 

I have witnessed this at several venues and we have always tried to talk to these people ,but sometimes they go away disappointed never to return .

my point is , if you have the wherewithal its easy to put on an event invite ya besties to dj get decent guest djs and expect your mates and locals to attend ,then sit around the door chatting with your mates or hanging around the decks or for sale boxes totally oblivious to the punters especially people new to the venue .

so come try harder and make newbies feel welcome .

 

disclaimer

not all venues are like this and have been made to feel more than welcome at some new to us venues ,

Eeyup mate, was djing in Barnsley the other week, I havn`t been to an event in Barnsley for many years and always remember it as being the most friendly of places to attend. You know what, nothings changed, we had a fantastic night and were made to feel welcome by all the crowd in there, met a lot of old friends and made some new, now that's what its all about to me.

[Spacehopper]

we have probably more non soulies than a lot of clubs..certainly in the south west and events I travel to further afield anyway..

 

agree a nice welcome goes a long way and we try to be that way whoever you are and however long you've been into this music..

 

when we notice first timers we always ASK them not to take there drinks on the dancefloor (incase they don't see all the signs!) and if we get requests for stuff that's isn't gonna get played there is a polite was of telling them..it seems to work..they have a good time,maybe start getting into the real deal and come back

 

ive spoke to some and it can be a bit intimidating almost when its obvious to them and every one else they are the only ones who don't know other people..know the tunes..know how to dance

 

even when we get the odd twat whos having a good time but showing off to his mates and being slightly annoying the softly approach of asking his mates to have a word normally works better than going over all bouncer like...but if needed that's plan b ;-)

 

I suppose its just cos we want everybody to just get on and enjoy it..life is really too short not to...or maybe nicci,john and myself are just old hippies at heart

 

dean

[Kegsy]

matt

am not saying venues should play anything out of what they would normally play but maybe if one of the organisers had come over and spoke to them they could have been accommodated , I talked to them myself and they were not ignorant wrt northern soul and motown and some motown was played ,,

 

I remember being at the Torch talking to a guy who was there for the first time.

he said to me " I thought they would have played more Motown stuff",

meanwhile Tell Me It Is Just a Rumour was banging out of the speakers.

 

kegsy

[Zed1]

so that's it then

we should all go out sip our bottles of water , and listen and dance to the music

 

you there at the back , no talking ,,

 

 

Countless people have been encouraged to join the scene in the last 10 years or so (which is a good thing). Trouble is many have joined for the social 'Friendly' and 'Welcoming' side of things rather than the music, meaning many nights are now little more than a teen disco for 50 somethings loosely based around a few dozen Northern soul records.

 

What comes out of the speakers should be welcoming enough.....

Edited October 12, 2013 by Zed1

[hullsoul]

so that's it then

we should all go out sip our bottles of water , and listen and dance to the music

 

you there at the back , no talking ,,

The scenes always took in waifs & strays,think of some the characters over the years,you wouldn't want them let loose on everyday people with nothing in there lives.I'm still waiting for the cheque off the NHS for care in the community

But there seem to a train of thought that people who are just dipping there toe into the scene should be catered for on an equal footing or in some cases given preferential treatment when they should come & find out our ways & fit in accordingly.It isn’t an off the peg scene,it’s made to measure & you have to keep going back for frequent fittings until you find the correct size?If that's too much like hard work well off you trot & find something else to do with your time.

Cheers

Martyn

Edited October 12, 2013 by hullsoul

[Mssoulie]

The welcomes are mostly warm wherever we travel, but newbies and even people returning to this scene of ours must realise that we are all like minded people, it's who are and it's what defines us. We are proud to be so. A lot of people don,t get it and never will. Those that get it please stay and be embraced by all that is Northern Soul. Those that don,t then the 70's nights are where it's at for you. Enjoy. Flipping heck that's a bit deep for me on a Saturday. Ktf. Hugh

[Mrtag]

The scenes always took in waifs & strays,think of some the characters over the years,you wouldn't want them let loose on everyday people with nothing in there lives.I'm still waiting for the cheque off the NHS for care in the community

But there seem to a train of thought that people who are just dipping there toe into the scene should be catered for on an equal footing or in some cases given preferential treatment when they should come & find out our ways & fit in accordingly.It isn’t an off the peg scene,it’s made to measure & you have to keep going back for frequent fittings until you find the correct size?If that's too much like hard work well off you trot & find something else to do with your time.

Cheers

Martyn

 

Yeah! I know one of these waifs and strays from over the East coast way   always turning up all over the place!  Luckily he brings the good lady along to take care of him!!   Any idea who it could be MARTYN  Hope you're both keeping well ! Atb John.

[hullsoul]

Yeah! I know one of these waifs and strays from over the East coast way   always turning up all over the place!  Luckily he brings the good lady along to take care of him!!   Any idea who it could be MARTYN  Hope you're both keeping well ! Atb John.

John

You say the nicest things...........about our lass

I'd like to argue with you but I can't really  

Yes all good over here hope the same can be said for you & the boss

Cheers

Martyn

[ImberBoy]

I know Brian and the lovely Angie get out and about as much as I do, Bri does Soul nights and I do Nighters, no high or low ground claimed or implied Bro X, I do know what you mean and if I and my travelling compadres are treated with indifference we don't return, simples and it is their loss. There are some Allnighters that I just will not do as I feel they are cliquey and I always feel like a gate crasher, one of the big ones has a regular invite back to their house for the chosen few which is ace but when that becomes a kind of selling point for their Nighter you can't hep but feel excluded, maybe our group hasn't got the right kind of social skills?

 

The front of shop is vital, massive own goals can be scored by not greeting someone who has just spent two hours driving to a venue, it is both ignorant and quite short sighted.

 

Once in the venue, I care little for socialising, I am there to dance like the devil him self but I do kinda want to feel comfortable and not feel dread, the only time I have ever felt dread was at the Coalville Allnighter when I honestly thought it was going to go pear shaped with the locals!

[Joefromupnorth]

Myself ive stopped going to some local to me as it seemed that because of more and more attending who hadn't a clue the promoters were catering increasingly for them and forgetting who had been their core audience for a decade,my opinion anyway.Sadly those i mention have a limited interest that spans a few overplayed classics and they don't want anything they don't know so its been a case of a takeover for the worst.Talking to quite a few this seems to be the case in many areas not just around here.

One night a few years back i was up talking to a mate of ours Martyn who was at the decks and this bloke came up mouthing where was the motown the night advertised?

well of course he didn't realise but he had just listened to a half a dozen in a row............but stoned love etc was all he knew......says it all really so although folk should feel welcome they should also appreciate they can't arrive and start dictating.

Edited October 12, 2013 by JOEfromupnorth

[macca]

I remember being at the Torch talking to a guy who was there for the first time.

he said to me " I thought they would have played more Motown stuff",

meanwhile Tell Me It Is Just a Rumour was banging out of the speakers.

 

kegsy

 

perhaps he was someone's mate that had been 'taken hostage' in the pub, given some filon and pointed towards the dancefloor for laughs. did that sort of thing happen there or was it far too scary a place for the 'non-believer'?  I ask because we very occasionally used to take a mate hostage and convince him to come with us to local niters like peterbrough or st.ives. in spite of them having a 'memorable' night on the doobs, they'd never venture back. they were much happier in "anabelles" trying to pull birds whilst dancing to andrea true connection or tina charles, I guess...

[Biggordy]

Local soul nights are okay as if you're new, you eventually get to know people but I've stopped going further afield as I was tired of sitting there all night with my partner and no one talking to us or even acknowledging us.  We're friendly people and will talk to anyone but to me the scene isn't as friendly as people make it out to be and there's definitely a lot of cliques in some places and if you're not known you tend to feel unwelcome definitely.

[Biggordy]

By the way, I'm 44 and have been into the music for over 20 years but my partner prefers the social side of things.

[KevH]

O dear,something else to worry about.!! Not feeling welcome - then you go to the promoter and introduce yourself.!! He/they might be busy.!! Grow Some.!!!

[Guest drewid]

The scenes always took in waifs & strays,think of some the characters over the years,you wouldn't want them let loose on everyday people with nothing in there lives.I'm still waiting for the cheque off the NHS for care in the community

But there seem to a train of thought that people who are just dipping there toe into the scene should be catered for on an equal footing or in some cases given preferential treatment when they should come & find out our ways & fit in accordingly.It isn’t an off the peg scene,it’s made to measure & you have to keep going back for frequent fittings until you find the correct size?If that's too much like hard work well off you trot & find something else to do with your time.

Cheers

Martyn

spot on

[barney]

O dear,something else to worry about.!! Not feeling welcome - then you go to the promoter and introduce yourself.!! He/they might be busy.!! Grow Some.!!!

piss poor attitude that kev

so people who want to go to different venues driving for miles expecting to have an enjoyable night, listen to good music and be made to feel welcome , should just pay their money put up and shut up, .

[KevH]

piss poor attitude that kev

so people who want to go to different venues driving for miles expecting to have an enjoyable night, listen to good music and be made to feel welcome , should just pay their money put up and shut up, .

 

Hey it works both ways.What about the promoter who puts effort in all week,only to be ignored by folks and then get their venue slagged when it doesn't work out on the night for them.? Of course folks should feel welcome,but its not a necessity.What if the venue is too big.? Can the promoter find time to go to everyone.? 

[Peter99]

Me, I like to rock up somewhere and be told to fcuk off!

 

Peter

 

 

[hullsoul]

piss poor attitude that kev

so people who want to go to different venues driving for miles expecting to have an enjoyable night, listen to good music and be made to feel welcome , should just pay their money put up and shut up, .

Barney

Think Kev was a tad harsh but he also makes a good point of you've got to make an effort aswell,I've run a night & the early part of the night is quite fraught as you are worrying enough people are going to turn up,is the equipment working OK,has the guest dj turned up etc.So someone coming in sitting down out the way are easily missed.What I'm trying to say is you need to put yourself out there to get some reaction back,I'm not saying butt into conversations of people you don't know but a nod on the way in & a word at the bar helps break the ice?Then if you still feel frozen out you are able to make that comment because you tried.

Cheers

Martyn

[hullsoul]

Me, I like to rock up somewhere and be told to fcuk off!

 

Peter

 

 

Peter

Feel free to come out with us,we'll oblige

Cheers

Martyn

[Bazza]

A welcome is nice but as I once said

" If you get the impression I don't like you ,its probably true,but don't take it to heart cos I don't like anybody   lol 

 

Bout sums it up for me   

 

Bazza    

[Guest Bearsy]

Lost in the music to actually give a fook if I'm welcome or not.

[Russ Vickers]

TBH I've travelled the length & breadth of the country since I was 15 & never felt out of place any where that I can think of, some places take a couple of nights before you feel like one of the crowd, but thats part of the fun, dont think I've been any where for years & not known some or most of the reprobates in attendance....when they play my kinda soul i feel welcome any where....its not Darby n Joan, its a f*ckin nighter with all the human flotsam & jetsom that they throw up, the good, the bad n the ugly, but we all generally get on when thrown together at a good nighter, the music brings you together......there are people I have nodded to for 20 years at Nighters & feel comfortable in thier presence, but TBH some of em I have no idea who they really are, other than they obviously like the same sort of soul as myself n thats good enough for me !!!.........the problem is the scene has this lovey dovey image, which isnt always true, I have met some of the best friends I will ever meet on this scene, folk who will stick by you no matter what, but there is, was n always will be a darker edgier side to the scene, which some cant admit to or cope with but sometimes adds a little excitment to the proceedings !!!

 

Best Russ

[TOAD]

These days i like to sit on my own and absore the music without some middle age woman verbaling and telling me her life history lol lol

[Mark S]

I dont mind it being unwelcoming makes it feel more homely  .

 

My Mrs isnt into it so I normally go out on my own usually find someone to yap to all in all its still fairly freindly .

[Guest Byrney]

Struth, I do wonder how some souls would have coped at Nighters in the 80s.

[barney]

most of us are abit older and wiser than we were in the 70s and 80s .

as I have said there are a plethora of venues about ,some will say too many with a dwindling and aging set of punters ,

my post was aimed at promoters and dj,s.

realise its impossible at some of the bigger venues but I always like to be made and feel welcome ,

this is one of the plus points when attending any venue and if I don't feel welcome then I don't return simples ,

am no shrinking violet and will and do talk to anyone and we are always meeting new people and making friends

love it when I go to the north notts venues like the Grosvenor , blackhearts and Kingsway because we are always made to feel welcome ,

sorry I cant say this about some venues where we have been ignored to the point of being uncomfortable .

and shudder to think what I would feel if I were new to the scene ,

[hullsoul]

most of us are abit older and wiser than we were in the 70s and 80s .

as I have said there are a plethora of venues about ,some will say too many with a dwindling and aging set of punters ,

my post was aimed at promoters and dj,s.

realise its impossible at some of the bigger venues but I always like to be made and feel welcome ,

this is one of the plus points when attending any venue and if I don't feel welcome then I don't return simples ,

am no shrinking violet and will and do talk to anyone and we are always meeting new people and making friends

love it when I go to the north notts venues like the Grosvenor , blackhearts and Kingsway because we are always made to feel welcome ,

sorry I cant say this about some venues where we have been ignored to the point of being uncomfortable .

and shudder to think what I would feel if I were new to the scene ,

Barney

You're doing it again...........why do newcomers get preferential treatment?Why do they feel put out if they aren't made to feel as if they are a long lost brother on there first visit?I think you'll find if you turn up at a night more then once/twice you'll start to get a nod & you go from there.This is nothing to do with the northern scene this is normal group behaviour, it's beyond me that people expect to be made feel special on first meeting?

Cheers

Martyn 

[Russ Vickers]

You'd have a barrel of laughs with me mate, get to venue, get in the record bar, get on dance floor, see the missus 8 hours later, I sh*t you not....occasionally eyes meet across the dance floor but that's about it, got better things to do....always funny too when blocked n some nutters tryin to do ya head in or your tryin to do their head in....its all part of the fun innit !!! lol

 

Apres Soul conversations n adventures....

 

Dave A n his gerbils

Steve C n course fishing at 6am

Captain Detroit  !!!

Offering a lift to some strangers after a Nighter, starting a conversation in Yarmouth & it finished when I pulled up outside their house on Portsmouth - they hadn't said a word all journey - they left the vehicle like a bullet out of a gun lol 

Taking nearly 2 days to get home - stopping at every services n café on the way back

Losing Randy at the services n him trying to hunt us down as he thought we had abandoned him

 

The fun & friendliness is endless......

 

Best Russ

Edited October 13, 2013 by Russ Vickers

[ste gal 7]

weve been to a few places were weve not been welcomed in, but never felt unwelcome, by that i mean as someone stated earlier sometimes the guys are busy or already chatting to the previous entrants, because once you speak to someone you cant always cut off a conversation. but weve not been around that long, i think if your long term or even WORSE lol a dj  it seems to become a bit competative. us we go were we want when want and yes we have a good drink a good dance and a good night and its all down to you lot who put the effort in week in week out.  cheers

[Citizen P]

 Think we've all gone a bit soft and been brainwashed by this friendliest scene twaddle.....

 

Once over you'd be lucky to get out alive...  

[KevH]

weve been to a few places were weve not been welcomed in, but never felt unwelcome, by that i mean as someone stated earlier sometimes the guys are busy or already chatting to the previous entrants, because once you speak to someone you cant always cut off a conversation. but weve not been around that long, i think if your long term or even WORSE lol a dj  it seems to become a bit competative. us we go were we want when want and yes we have a good drink a good dance and a good night and its all down to you lot who put the effort in week in week out.  cheers

 

Conversations are always cut off by me,or by my friends.When a record comes on you've got about 2.30 secs to get to it,you can always carry the conversation on later...but that moment on the floor may not come around for a while....its one place that sort of etiquette should be understood......

[ste gal 7]

Conversations are always cut off by me,or by my friends.When a record comes on you've got about 2.30 secs to get to it,you can always carry the conversation on later...but that moment on the floor may not come around for a while....its one place that sort of etiquette should be understood......

im with you on that but im not a promoter if you put a night on i think you should stay on the door

Edited October 13, 2013 by ste gal 7

[Steve S 60]

Had to cut short a very interesting conversation on Show Pigeons last night when the dance floor beckoned.

[Mssoulie]

TBH I've travelled the length & breadth of the country since I was 15 & never felt out of place any where that I can think of, some places take a couple of nights before you feel like one of the crowd, but thats part of the fun, dont think I've been any where for years & not known some or most of the reprobates in attendance....when they play my kinda soul i feel welcome any where....its not Darby n Joan, its a f*ckin nighter with all the human flotsam & jetsom that they throw up, the good, the bad n the ugly, but we all generally get on when thrown together at a good nighter, the music brings you together......there are people I have nodded to for 20 years at Nighters & feel comfortable in thier presence, but TBH some of em I have no idea who they really are, other than they obviously like the same sort of soul as myself n thats good enough for me !!!.........the problem is the scene has this lovey dovey image, which isnt always true, I have met some of the best friends I will ever meet on this scene, folk who will stick by you no matter what, but there is, was n always will be a darker edgier side to the scene, which some cant admit to or cope with but sometimes adds a little excitment to the proceedings !!!

 

Best Russ

[Mssoulie]

Can,t fault a word of that mate.

[Bazza]

Conversations are always cut off by me,or by my friends.When a record comes on you've got about 2.30 secs to get to it,you can always carry the conversation on later...but that moment on the floor may not come around for a while....its one place that sort of etiquette should be understood......

Dead right Kev,might seem ignorant  to some that don't know 

 

Bazza  

 

Oh ,and if my head is out on the floor,no point in talking to me ,cos I can't hear you anyway 

Edited October 13, 2013 by Bazza

[Guest Matt Male]

Struth, I do wonder how some souls would have coped at Nighters in the 80s.

 

Exactly mate, fooking hell they'd have had a nervous breakdown in five minutes with the relentless piss taking of Tommo and others. It's a teddy bear's picnic these days compared to the intensity of the 80s nighters.

 

I'm going to start calling people 'goose' again when they can't name artist, title, run out groove width and name of chief sound engineer.

[Russ Vickers]

Exactly mate, fooking hell they'd have had a nervous breakdown in five minutes with the relentless piss taking of Tommo and others. It's a teddy bear's picnic these days compared to the intensity of the 80s nighters.

 

I'm going to start calling people 'goose' again when they can't name artist, title, run out groove width and name of chief sound engineer.

 

I cant remember me own name after being in a Nighter ten minutes.....

 

Russ

[barney]

Exactly mate, fooking hell they'd have had a nervous breakdown in five minutes with the relentless piss taking of Tommo and others. It's a teddy bear's picnic these days compared to the intensity of the 80s nighters.

 

I'm going to start calling people 'goose' again when they can't name artist, title, run out groove width and name of chief sound engineer.

the 80s are long gone its a different time now and if you had goosed me I would probably have twatted  you then ,  

[Steve G]

Can't be fussed if "welcomed" or not....Went to a soul night in a different part of the country Saturday with some extended family, a bit out of the way for most of yer, in fact we didn't know anyone at all. No one, although "err indoors" did find someone she used to go to Wigan with and I recognised a couple of faces I'd seen at Cleethorpes.

 

We turned up, paid our money, found a table, got a drink, had a listen, had a dance, got on with it....spoke to a few people etc.

 

I'd be more uncomfortable with nosey parkers asking who we were / where we were from, are we "soulies"? etc....Go out and make your own enjoyment....unless you are a complete hermit crab you'll end up talking to folk and having a good time.

[Bazza]

Can't be fussed if "welcomed" or not....Went to a soul night in a different part of the country Saturday with some extended family, a bit out of the way for most of yer, in fact we didn't know anyone at all. No one, although "err indoors" did find someone she used to go to Wigan with and I recognised a couple of faces I'd seen at Cleethorpes.

 

We turned up, paid our money, found a table, got a drink, had a listen, had a dance, got on with it....spoke to a few people etc.

 

I'd be more uncomfortable with nosey parkers asking who we were / where we were from, are we "soulies"? etc....Go out and make your own enjoyment....unless you are a complete hermit crab you'll end up talking to folk and having a good time.

Yep feel exactly the same Steve ,couldn't give a toss really 

 

Bazza  

 

Suppose I'm a bit old school ,don't want divs an twats telling me all sorts of crap anyway

Edited October 13, 2013 by Bazza

[Guest Matt Male]

the 80s are long gone its a different time now and if you had goosed me I would probably have twatted  you then ,  

 

 

Yes it is a different time now, we're all grown up and we shouldn't need a welcoming committee. Personally I can't see what there is to moan about.

[Dave Moore]

We're soul fans - not freakin' social workers. If the likes of Spyder Turner, Al Kent, Harthon, Jaylynne, United Sound, Watts and 103rd St, The Snakepit, Groovesville, Muscle Shoals, Geo-Si-Mik, etc etc etc don't make you feel welcome then maybe...just maybe, you're in the wrong gaff.  

 

Regards,

 

Dave