Best Bullsh*t Story

[Pk 22dj]

Ok here we go, just a bit of fun and let's not name anyone in person, but we all know plenty of people who have told bullshit stories about how they found ten brand new Motown demos of Barbara McNair your gonna love my baby at the local scouts jumble sale etc. I just thought it might be fun to share your thoughts and tales about the bull that's been told over the years.

Cheers PK

[Sooty]

...that the Northern Soul scene will die.....X

LUV
SOOTY
X

[Amsterdam Russ]

Don't know why this popped into my head, but...

 

As a young and very naive teenager, I used to go to a local youth club in Maidstone, Kent. It was a Methodist run place. They played Northern and Motown there, but only because I and a friend took along our Grapevine and Inferno LPs and whatever 45s (reissues or real) that we'd bought recently and commandeered the decks for as long as we could.

 

For reasons that are still unclear, the youth club let a couple of older boys attend quite regularly. One of them, Ian Arnold (and I've posted here previously asking if anybody knew him) wasn't a boy at all. He was a man, probably in his late 20s or early 30s. He was also not long out of Maidstone prison. He was the first Northern Soul dancer we'd ever seen and what we saw absolutely amazed us. Of course, we set about trying to copy everything he did - the fancy footwork, the spins, splits and backdrops and whatever else.

 

He was an instant hero.

 

However, this bloke had a mate, known to us only as "Biffo". He too, I suspect, had also been recently released from Her Majesty's Pleasure. Unlike our hero Ian, Biffo was a slime bag of the highest order. You felt greasy just being in the same room as him.

 

Biffo saw that us youngsters looked up to the older Ian, and set about trying to impress us as well. As well as tales of derring-do, all long forgotten, Biffo had one party trick, and this is where the bullshit comes in (see, there was a point to this ramble): when you weren't looking, he'd peak at your LPs. Then he'd deliberately turn the conversation around to that LP and show us how deeply knowledgable about music he was by... quoting from memory the catalogue number of that album.

 

To this very day, some 30 years later, I can still remember Biffo trying to impress by plucking out of the air "PLD 8000". We pretended to be amazed at this incredible feat of memory. The reality, of course, was that we'd sussed out his game.

 

Anyway, you'll be dying to know what PLD 8000 is and the extent of Biffo's musical knowledge. Well, it was one of the first Soul LP's that I'd ever bought (this being circa 1980). The sleeve notes were full of musical insight for us empty-headed soul acolytes. The two LP's of this limited edition release got played time and time again (although disc one was the clear favourite). I still have it - in fact I've pulled it off the shelf just so I can type the number of it here and add some authenticity to my story. I look at it with great fondness for it's grooves are full of music, memories. It reeks of nostalgia.

 

This double-albumed opus of soul - the catalogue numbers of which Biffo sought to gain high status with two impressionable and blotting paper clean kids?

 

It was the Pickwick Records "Black Magic" double-LP from 1979!

 

Biffo was without a doubt full of BS... and after dragging out such a minor anecdote, I think possibly I am as well! 

 

Just found a scan of this immortal album...

 

Edited May 2, 2013 by Russell Gilbert

[Steve G]

There has been a third copy of Frank Wilson found   

[Bridgesoceity]

Four Vandals story! 

[Steve G]

Which reminds me David Rhodes is a real record.....copies found in Danny leake's basement..... 

[Guest drewid]

when i was at goldmine records manchester and first seeing "voices" mag, picked it up and some twat leaned into me and my brothers lughole(s) and said "you dont wanna bother with that mag, full of that slow shit" thank fuck we ignored him!!!!!!!!!!

[Cunnie]

There has been a third copy of Frank Wilson found   

But there has Steve. 

Chris Evans played it on't wireless this morning

[Guest ScooterNik]

Sitting in a cafe after Morecambe allnighter, waiting for the bus home to turn up, a mate and me used to get accosted every month by a bloke from (I think) Preston who'd see us as he came in and come and join us. He'd then regale us with tales of his huge record collection.

After a couple of months of this, my mate suddenly started mentioning records he'd picked up recently, all stuff I'd never heard of and that I didn't know he'd bought (and that I never saw, funnily enough). This guy had every single one.  He'd had them for years and reckoned he was the first person to play a lot of them.

 

On the bus, an hour later, I started to ask my mate where all these records had come from.

 

He grinned at me, opened the paper he'd been reading in the cafe and pointed names out, and lines of print - these were the obscure artists and records that he'd been on about!

 

Next month, we both had stacks of amazingly obscure records to go on about...

 

He never twigged, and amazingly always had a good 90% of the records

[night nurse]

i saw Elvis at robs records last week   

[Steve G]

Similar theme to SkooterNik, there was a guy we used to see at record fairs in London, who everything we mentioned he had a copy of no matter how rare. It was always either at home, or he'd had a copy and sold it. Sensing he was a major "bullsitter" we started making up names of records, and yes he had 'em! Best one I remember was Ann Sexton on Selma, or was it Fluorescent Smogg on Southbound? - both very rare 45's indeed. So rare they doesn't exist, but when we mentioned 'em old Mikey he reckoned he had had 'em.  

[Zoomsoulblue]

A guy in America had heard about how good the dancing was at Wigan — came over and saw it him self — then made a film called Saturday Night Fever

[Steve G]

Oh yeah that reminds me "Wigan Casino voted the world's best disco in Billboard magazine" ......

[Guest smudgesmith]

I wont cum in your mouth  !!

[Back Street Blue]

Oh yeah that reminds me "Wigan Casino voted the world's best disco in Billboard magazine" ......

 

Did some in depth research into that via the Billboard archives and it turns out that it was totally false.

 

What the article actually said about Wigan was that it was the best "dex-score" in the world 

[Premium Stuff]

Similar theme to SkooterNik, there was a guy we used to see at record fairs in London, who everything we mentioned he had a copy of no matter how rare. It was always either at home, or he'd had a copy and sold it. Sensing he was a major "bullsitter" we started making up names of records, and yes he had 'em! Best one I remember was Ann Sexton on Selma, or was it Fluorescent Smogg on Southbound? - both very rare 45's indeed. So rare they doesn't exist, but when we mentioned 'em old Mikey he reckoned he had had 'em.

 

I've had both Ann Sexton on Selma and Fluorescent Smog on Southbound mate - both pretty rare I must say 

[Steve G]

Did some in depth research into that via the Billboard archives and it turns out that it was totally false.

 

What the article actually said about Wigan was that it was the best "dex-score" in the world 

Back in the mid 1970s there was a plan by the Casino management to raise money via a floatation on the London Stock Exchange. Consultants were called in and wrote the prospectus for potential investors. The prospectus included the quote about "WC being voted the best disco in the world in Billboard".

 

 

About the same time I saw a sign on the toilets doors saying "These toilets are cleaned by our staff every hour"......

[Steve G]

I've had both Ann Sexton on Selma and Fluorescent Smog on Southbound mate - both pretty rare I must say 

 

Hello "Mike"  - hope you are keeping well, did you ever find that Willie Tee record on Stax?  

[Back Street Blue]

Back in the mid 1970s there was a plan by the Casino management to raise money via a floatation on the London Stock Exchange. Consultants were called in and wrote the prospectus for potential investors. The prospectus included the quote about "WC being voted the best disco in the world in Billboard".

 

 

About the same time I saw a sign on the toilets doors saying "These toilets are cleaned by our staff every hour"......

 

   only people who cleaned up in there were the rollers

[Guest Garry Huxley]

I wont cum in your mouth  !!

 

Its good for the complexion. honest

[Ian Parker]

I wont cum in your mouth  !!

 

  post of the month

[Emily73]

"I used to drive to Wigan in my Lambretta 350" 

 

Or the time an old Boss of mine told me he was a Northern Soul DJ in Edinburgh in the 70s, and promised to bring me in his old records. Turned up with Freak Le Chic and a couple of Motown records... Gutted

[Guest SteveJohnston]

  post of the month

Ian it's post of the mouth!!

[Jim G]

heard a DJ saying a record he played he bought it at the Wheel, little did he know the room was full of people that knew said "DJ" only got into Northern in the 80t's and never set foot in any of venues he mentioned, Mecca, Casino etc. 

 

Why such people spout such lies is beyond me...

[Pk 22dj]

Here's a good one but not about records.

In the late 70's me and a few of my mates went camping in Prestatyn, all mad into Northern etc and even took records with us. Next to our camp Presthaven Sands had a big club with a disco etc, we ended up sneaking in as though we were staying in one of the caravans on the park. Moving on, we took the records and dance to the crowd who were amazed and circled us etc. we had the pick of any of the nice birds on offer, me and my mate copped of with two girls from Wigan and very nice they were too, we ended up getting our way with them as you do, and told them a load of bull to impress them. Like I own my own BMW & company and live with my family in a massive house etc. Can you imagine my horror when a few weeks later over the speakers at a Ritz Alldayer they called my name out to ring home, the two girls had only turned up at our council house, my mum had let them in and 3 bus rides later I had gone to pick them up and headed back to The Ritz, my mate left it all to me as you would ha ha. I learnt a hard lesson that day and to be fair the girls never said a thing, good girls them Wigan Girls.

[Guest Nick Harrison]

Pocketed deadwoods returning and running local x over and modern soul nights, who try and tell those who are actually more of an authority than they think.

 

Self believing that the "authorised one's are those who have musically missed out".   

 

 

 

  

Edited May 5, 2013 by Nick Harrison

[Guest Nick Harrison]

An old dear lover from Humberside, playing unheard tracks from Clyde Mcphatter and Jimmy Helms, at a tavern sited by a canal in South Yorkshire.  Then others claiming that was the "birth" of the first crossover sound and its first beginnings of a movement within the UK. 

 

  

[The Tempest]

 

 

A certain person stated they were the proud owner of a 12" release of this   

[Campagnolo 1]

A guy in America had heard about how good the dancing was at Wigan — came over and saw it him self — then made a film called Saturday Night Fever

think that was Chris Kings Canvey Island gig.??

[Irish Spinner]

I guess a lot of us have all spun this one our loving Mum..as a young teen.. I am just stopping over at me mates tonight,as you walk out the door bag in hand.

 Your carrying change of clothes, polished shoes, tee shirt ,towel can of deodorant.

Off on what could be 100/ 300 plus miles round trip by any means possible,for your first few all nighters.

 Returning the next day, like you have been on manoeuvres with the SAS on a night mission.

Then have the ordacity to spin the same yarn the following few weeks. 

 

Atb Irish

[Guest Byrney]

'I've been going to allnighters since the early days of the casino till now without a break". Don't know about he best but possibly the most common

[Tfk]

I guess a lot of us have all spun this one our loving Mum..as a young teen.. I am just stopping over at me mates tonight,as you walk out the door bag in hand.

Your carrying change of clothes, polished shoes, tee shirt ,towel can of deodorant.

Off on what could be 100/ 300 plus miles round trip by any means possible,for your first few all nighters.

Returning the next day, like you have been on manoeuvres with the SAS on a night mission.

Then have the ordacity to spin the same yarn the following few weeks.

Atb Irish

Followed by a "yes" ..there's nothing more I would love to do than eat that dustbin lid size sunday dinner ??? !!!!

Edited May 6, 2013 by tfk

[Guest Garry Huxley]

I guess a lot of us have all spun this one our loving Mum..as a young teen.. I am just stopping over at me mates tonight,as you walk out the door bag in hand.

 Your carrying change of clothes, polished shoes, tee shirt ,towel can of deodorant.

Off on what could be 100/ 300 plus miles round trip by any means possible,for your first few all nighters.

 Returning the next day, like you have been on manoeuvres with the SAS on a night mission.

Then have the ordacity to spin the same yarn the following few weeks. 

 

Atb Irish

 

 

Not forgetting that being in fear that mum's bottles of Tenuate dospan (chalkys or horse tablets) were getting lower

 

Bless her

Edited May 13, 2013 by Garry Huxley

[Davenpete]

I remember a certain guy from over Wantage way taking a large case of records to the 100 Club and putting them out alongside the sellers - when people pulled out something they fancied and asked him how much - he said "oh no they're not for sale - I just bought them along so people could look at them".

 

Dx

[Barry]

'Roadblock' - I'm saying no more.

[Guest MissHongkongfuey]

heard a DJ saying a record he played he bought it at the Wheel, little did he know the room was full of people that knew said "DJ" only got into Northern in the 80t's and never set foot in any of venues he mentioned, Mecca, Casino etc. 

 

Why such people spout such lies is beyond me...

 

Have a lovely friend who has had a hard time relationship-wise and was thrilled when he met a new woman who was totally into the scene and a real muso.

We were introduced and spent a long time talking about music and the Northern scene and in front of both myself and new Fella, she mentioned how she was a regular at the Casino.... Oh how my heart sank for him!!!

If she'd really been there, it would have been to attend a pre-school alldayer!!!

 

A pretty girl, lovely personality, great taste in music but all spoilt by a  dab of bullshit  

[Guest drewid]

Once invited round to someone's house for a meal there were two more couples invited all of them non soul people but really nice folk. One guys wife I went to school with, anyway the conversation turned to music and where you used to go back in the day , it came to my turn and was getting asked about w c etc when the girl I went to school with started to tell everyone how she loved the niters at Wigan and her husband said , " I didn't know you went there love , who did you go with" " I went with Andrew , his brother David and their mates" she said . I'd never seen her since I left school , I felt like jumpin over the table ,and shouting you lying twat, but I had to sit there with a stoic look , squeezing my fork and wondering where to stick it lol . Why did she blatantly lie like that ,I don't know, but I now see her differently than what I remembered her from schooldays

Edited May 14, 2013 by drewid

[Guest in town Mikey]

 

 

A certain person stated they were the proud owner of a 12" release of this   

 

Never dreamed it was possible

 

Hat

Coat

Gone

[Dave Pinch]

was talkin to a guy at a niter in the 90`s who said he`d seen dean parrish, bricks broken bottles and sticks on uk stateside.. i told him i didnt think it existed he then started to get a little aggressive so i just nipped it in the bud by say i`ll believe it when i see it........still waiting

Edited May 14, 2013 by dave pinch

[Zoomsoulblue]

Telling Wigan DS that I didn’t have any gear

 

and at Wakefield all nighter coming off the coach from Aldershot as the DS where coming on denying who’s bag it was with the small plastic bags in