Ok so we can't find a Top Ten to unite the scene nor an ultimate Number 1. But can we find the all-time northern record that truly desrves to be smashed.

What record would you break? Here are my rules it should be a record that you think has done harm to the scene. It should be a truly awful record that stretches soul to breaking point, and doesn't deserve to be remembered with any fondness. So its not about overplayed oldies if they were once great records. This is about the dismal, the dire and the downright duds.

I nominate Boots Randolph's 'Take A Letter Maria' played at Wigan.

Its like Bill Clinton playing the Sax after a session with Monica Lewinsky - truly awful.

I'll nominate:

Joe 90

Hawaii Five-O

Nosmo King - Goodbye Nothin' To Say

Jeanette Harper - Pick Me Up..

Easy, i've said it a hundred times before but it's always..

Wake up to the sunshine girl - joey delorenzo

god i hate that piece of shite

Edited May 4, 200619 yr by Matt Male

4 Chaps - will you or won't you.

Worst ever.

  pikeys dog said:

I'll nominate:

Joe 90

Hawaii Five-O

Nosmo King - Goodbye Nothin' To Say

Jeanette Harper - Pick Me Up..

Definitely second the vote for Joe 90, Hawaii 5-0 a close second!!

Interesting thread Stuart, tricky!!

Alan

the joker went wild

samantha jones ray of sunshine

the playthings ray of sunshine

cornel gunther love in my heart

gail adams or whatever baby i need your loving

Muriel Day Nine times out of 10 ?

Rain Out of my mind ?

Both utterly grim..

Edited May 4, 200619 yr by Russ Smith

I dont think stuff like Joe 90 and Hawaii Five-0 should be allowed, they are obviously novelty records, It's the crap masquarading as serious soul that should be put to the sword. :angry:

  Matt Male said:

... the crap masquarading as serious soul that should be put to the sword. :angry:

I agree with that one but still hate Papa Ooh Mow Mow by the Sharonettes for example which is probably novelty but wasted 'airtime' in an era when great soul records went un-played.

  Simsy said:

4 Chaps - will you or won't you.

Worst ever.

Close to agreeing with you on this one Ian, beaten only by Lorrainne Silver IMO for crapness

  codfromderby said:

the joker went wild

cornel gunther love in my heart

Oh dear, I love this 45.

I would certainly bin Call Me - Eddie whats his name and any Frank Popp.

Jordi

As per "Hawaii 5 0" the dreadful Paul Humphrey "Cochise" & Mistura "The Flasher" did serious damage (IMO).

In fact, so did most instrumentals of the time.

On the vocal front, Joey Hetherington and (dare i say it) even Shawn Robinson always ground my soul! (could never understand the appeal of that dirge)

God awful!... But Hey, its only MO!

Sean Hampsey

Don't Know who sings it but I bloody hate that "Clock With No Hands"

Got to agree with Jordi about this Frank Popp stuff.

But for a big popular record that always used to & still does bug me 'Nabay - Belive It Or Not' or either of the Oo Wee Let It Be You/Me sides. I'm getting miserable just thinking about them !

LAST SOUL NIGHT

I BURNED A COPY OF JERRY BUTLERS moody woman WITH MY LIGHTER

INTO THE SHAPE OF A FLOWER..iT LOOKED SO MUCH BETTER

AFTER SOME FIRE DAMAGE

SOUNDED BETTER TOO

  jordirip said:

Oh dear, I love this 45.

I would certainly bin Call Me - Eddie whats his name and any Frank Popp.

Jordi

what 45 are we binning cornel or bryan, i go for cornel

  the gasher said:

LAST SOUL NIGHT

I BURNED A COPY OF JERRY BUTLERS moody woman WITH MY LIGHTER

INTO THE SHAPE OF A FLOWER..iT LOOKED SO MUCH BETTER

AFTER SOME FIRE DAMAGE

SOUNDED BETTER TOO

============

I know it's all down to personal choice, but how did moody woman damage the scene?

Can't think of anything that really damaged the scene, cos it's still thriving. Lots of records that shouldn't have been played, but that's easy to say with hindsight, perhaps we have to put ourselves back 30/20 years and think what we thought of them then?

Winnie:-)

  Winnie :-) said:

============

I know it's all down to personal choice, but how did moody woman damage the scene?

Can't think of anything that really damaged the scene, cos it's still thriving. Lots of records that shouldn't have been played, but that's easy to say with hindsight, perhaps we have to put ourselves back 30/20 years and think what we thought of them then?

Winnie:-)

mmm, forgot about the 'Did Damage To The Scene' bit too.

It's got to be them there Wigin's Ovation then hasn't it ? or 'Footse'

  Matt Male said:

I dont think stuff like Joe 90 and Hawaii Five-0 should be allowed, they are obviously novelty records, It's the crap masquarading as serious soul that should be put to the sword. :angry:

Yep like Lady In Green

I'll go with Muriel Day Nine times out of 10 and

Rain Out of my mind already nominated above by Russ and add Peggy March - If you loved me. Nosmo King at least wasa bit of a joke and Jow 90 doesn't have a pewling vocal.

It has to be Human Beinz for me, I have actually managed to destroy 3 copies of this so far, one in front of the guy I bought it off. I cant't even watch Kill Bill anymore!!!!

Thing with Joe 90 and Hawaii 5-0 is, they're shite soul records but pretty good soundtrack records.

Same as a lot of the R&B / pop that gets played - not appropriate for the soul clubs for sure, but often good pieces of music.

'Call me' by Ed Bishop is just a terrible, terrible record, in whatever context you wish to put it in.

Edited May 5, 200619 yr by mik parry

  grouse said:

It has to be Human Beinz for me, I have actually managed to destroy 3 copies of this so far, one in front of the guy I bought it off. I cant't even watch Kill Bill anymore!!!!

I once had this, looking through my records came across it thought about it for a millisecond and chucked it in the waste basket, or so I thought, looking for something to play a few days later and there it is again! I couldn't believe it and I know I didn't have 2 copies (honest), I said to Annie "look at this, I binned that the other day" she was laughing, so I opened the window and frisbeed it down the road, it's not been back since,but I keep checking!

  mik parry said:

Thing with Joe 90 and Hawaii 5-0 is, they're shite soul records but pretty good soundtrack records.

Spot on Mik.

I've always loved Joe 90 ever since I was a kid with my W.I.N. special agent's briefcase. I mean, how can you not like Barry Gray??

I think people get mixed up between records that are not soul and shite tunes. Both the above are top TV theme tunes and it's not the fault of the creators of these pieces of music that some feckwit decided to play them at soul clubs. Same arguement for Human Beinz as a garage record really, I guess.

If you take this viewpoint to it's logical conclusion, everything from Bach to the Beatles and beyond is rubbish purely because it has no place in the soul scene.

Godz

Tim Tam and the Turnons---Wait a minute

Travis Wamack---Scratchy

Lester Lanin ---Dizzy

The list is endless really

Steve

You'll all be burning books soon

  the gasher said:

LAST SOUL NIGHT

I BURNED A COPY OF JERRY BUTLERS moody woman WITH MY LIGHTER

INTO THE SHAPE OF A FLOWER..iT LOOKED SO MUCH BETTER

AFTER SOME FIRE DAMAGE

SOUNDED BETTER TOO

Gasher,

Theres a big difference between burning a record that has "done the scene damage over the years", compared to one you just don't like!

Mine has to be any 70s crap masquerading as a northern soul record. Major damage caused by the introduction of these to our scene.

If i was thinking purely "damage to the scene" then it's got to be Wigan's Ovation, Wigan's Chosen Few, Sharonettes, et al.

There are people out there who still think this is the type of records that the scene plays

Ever got rotten and asked the dj at a wedding do for a bit of northern I rest my case

Having said that "Green Door" by Wynder K Frogg is probably as painfull to listen to

No matter how much I dislike a record, I would NEVER break it or damage it on purpose!!!

Records are the Holy Grail to me.

No matter how much you might dislike a record there will always be 'somebody else somewhere' that will like it and perhaps even cherish it.

If you've got a record you dislike THAT much, don't break it, give it away to somebody that does like it, or sell it to a dealer for buttons and let somebody else have the opportunity to own it.

  denbo said:

No matter how much you might dislike a record there will always be 'somebody else somewhere' that will like it and perhaps even cherish it.

Anyone want half a dozen copies of "Day Trip to Bangor" by Fiddler's Dram then?

Godz

  BrianB said:

Mine has to be any 70s crap masquerading as a northern soul record. Major damage caused by the introduction of these to our scene.

if you mean all 70s records can't agree brian . loads of great 70s and they've given the scene a lot more variety and appeal than endless repetitions of the four perfections IMO (and i speak as, primarily, a 60s fan). 70s has been a major factor in the longevity of the northern scene IMO.

brian hyland is a good shout from earlier by whoever made it, by the way.

Something More Recent:

Babara Dane - I'll Be On My Way

:angry: Catchy tune for people that can't dance, no soul at all

Lucky Charms / Tied to your heart

Main Change / Sunshine dirge

Absolute cack

  codfromderby said:

what 45 are we binning cornel or bryan, i go for cornel

no, No, NO!! I was talking about Cornel as a record I love. How can this be a damaging record to the scene? I've hardly ever heard it played out by anyone for a start. It's a great crossover/70's dancer a bit like Ad Libs - Fortune Teller. I wouldn't mind being the bin man round your way if you're chucking out class like that. Personally my bin would be full of 60's white pop records, 50's Doris Day clip clop country records, 90's/Y2K Drizabone clone dance records and 60's Ken Doddalike records. All of these are much more embarrassing IMO.

Jordi

  jordirip said:

no, No, NO!! I was talking about Cornel as a record I love. How can this be a damaging record to the scene? I've hardly ever heard it played out by anyone for a start. It's a great crossover/70's dancer a bit like Ad Libs - Fortune Teller. I wouldn't mind being the bin man round your way if you're chucking out class like that. Personally my bin would be full of 60's white pop records, 50's Doris Day clip clop country records, 90's/Y2K Drizabone clone dance records and 60's Ken Doddalike records. All of these are much more embarrassing IMO.

Jordi

I have to agree with you 100% Jordi. How did Cornell Gunter Love in my heart' come up in a fairly predictable and well known list of garbage records in this thread . It's so obscure comparatively speaking with the rest on the list. I thought it was a joke entry to provoke a response (I suppose it has now!). Sublime piece of soul music - definitely NOT for the bin!

Brian

Frank Wilson - Do I love You

(Would have been a nice pop thing if the lead and backing vocals were better. )

Damage: this record does damage to every mind that gets exposed to it's infectious but oh-so-mediocre sound.

LarsC is clearly completely deranged.

Absolute bilge =

Second Class Lover

Seven Day Fool

[insert any popcorn record here]

Off to sort out a copy of Clock With No Hands to play for Gavin next week...

A ladies choice.

Tho in a way it didnt damage the scene in so much as the wally's who liked that crap grew fringes, cut their hair into wedges and forked off to enjoy the Jazz Funk sound.

So in a way it did northern Soul a bit of good.

Still pure shite IMO.

A ladies choice.

Tho in a way it didnt damage the scene in so much as the wally's who liked that crap grew fringes, cut their hair into wedges and forked off to enjoy the Jazz Funk sound.

So in a way it did northern Soul a bit of good.

Still pure shite IMO.

Anything in BB's playbox.

Nah seriously..... Larry-Fekkin-Trider & his Carbon-fekkin-Copy!

Hate it with a passion normally saved only for MUFC!

Nah seriously..... Larry-Fekkin-Trider & his Carbon-fekkin-Copy!

Hate it with a passion normally saved only for MUFC!

With you on 3rd Window, Winnie..... but "teardrop" is ok.... But then i love R&B!

  paultp said:

Something More Recent:Babara Dane - I'll Be On My Way :angry: Catchy tune for people that can't dance, no soul at all

I can't see the appeal of this crap!

  Winnie :-) said:

Agree with the above, add "third window" and "catch a teardrop", all taking the scene in the wrong direction IMO.

Winnie:-)

Dean Barlow deserves to have all his windows smashed and then bricked up!

  Supercorsa said:

Dean Barlow deserves to have all his windows smashed and then bricked up!

I have to confess to stamping on a record a very long time ago.....

Just after I heard Soft Cell - What....

I took my foot to Judy Street and stamped on it.....It would never sound the same when thoughts of that black clad thing with greasy hair sprang to mind....

Maybe some think I should never have bought it but that's another thread...

Strangely enough, I was liked The Sharonettes, particularly the manic laughing during the introduction. The winner (loser?) has got to be something that most people know and completely misrepresents the music - Footsee.

Cornell Gunter and Jerry Butler are just great soul records.

  Winnie :-) said:

Nah seriously..... Larry-Fekkin-Trider & his Carbon-fekkin-Copy!

Hate it with a passion normally saved only for MUFC!

I can see Vic Reeves doing this in the style of the Pub Singer.......coz I'm a ££$%^ "£%$^%&^& aufduids.........

I always thought it was by Tommy Trinder

Jo

  BrianEllis said:

I have to agree with you 100% Jordi. How did Cornell Gunter Love in my heart' come up in a fairly predictable and well known list of garbage records in this thread . It's so obscure comparatively speaking with the rest on the list. I thought it was a joke entry to provoke a response (I suppose it has now!). Sublime piece of soul music - definitely NOT for the bin!

Brian

Brian this is not a wind up or joke entry to provoke a response honest i really do not see or hear anything good about cornel gunter apart from it being rare, in fact if i was trying to promote soul to someone this would possibly be the last record i would choose, and secondly for jordi it was a toss up between cornel and the ad libs for my choice years ago the only way to hear our music was to either own the record or hear it at venues, now days music is available nearly everywhere 24 hours a day in many formats. i myself due to work and family commitments have found it hard to go to quality venues over the last few years however i have over the last few years heard via modern media formats some of the best soul 45s i have ever heard in 30+ years of my interest in soul. in essence i can imagine years ago finding a copy of cornel gunther, playing it, not liking it, and then literally taking it on mass with others to a junk shop or binning it, and before you ask over the years my tastes have changed, oh and to make things even worse

i like barbara redd