The Curse Of The Chandlers

[Pete S]

Here's an absolute disaster story from start to finish.

I bought The Chandlers on Colsoul from the States, it cost about £215 I think, I thought I could make £100 profit on it...anyway, the bloke I bought it off put the value on it at $300, so our lovely customs officers charged me £54 tax.

Anyway they don't bother delivering these, you have to ring them up to arrange a later delivery or a pick up. The parcelforce office is in Atcham just outside Shrewsbury which is about 25 miles away from me, but I thought it might be a nice ride out, and I could pick up a couple of italian job deep pan pizzas from telford (the only place they do them round here) on the way.

So it starts snowing just as I set off.

I decide to get petrol and cash at the same time so I don't bother going to the only service station on the way, and I get into Telford, park outside Deep pan Pizza and go off to order. Deep pan Pizza doesn't open for another 3 hours.

So then I get back on the motorway and take the turn of for Atcham. I go 5 miles past the business park where I am meant to go, and end up in Shewsbury. I turn round and eventually find the place, hand over the money and take my record.

By now it is pouring down with rain and sleet.

I get on the motorway where I got off, and travel around 500 yards before the engine cuts out and I run out of petrol.

So I have to leave the warning indicators flashing, and attempt to climb 30 feet up this grassy bank, in the pouring rain, and I don't have a coat, just a jumper.

After about 10 minutes of one step forward to steps back comedy climbing, I get to the top of the bank, and there is a fance about 5 foot high with barbred wire on the top. Beyond that is a field, and a road. So I manage to get on top of the fence, get my balance, and leap off into the field, landing brilliantly flat footed in the mud and letting out a high pitched scream of pain.

I make it to the road and find a yokel, he says there's a garage about a mile down the road, so I run all the way to the garage.

Why didn't I phone for help I hear you say? Because my phone had run out of credit and I could not work out how to dial up and get more!

I bought an empty petrol can and filled it up, and some kind soul overheard my plight, and asked me where I'd broken down. By the bridge I said. I meant a footbridge. he took me 2 miles back down the wrong way to the motorway bridge. I had to tell him we'd gone in the wrong direction, and after he dropped me off, he had to go miles out of his way to get off the motorway!

OK so far so bad. I poured the petrol into the tank, and spilled half of it on me, so when I finally got home, I put all my clothes in the wash and that included my favourite pair of shoes which are Vans, I had them imported as they stopped making that style about 5 years back. When the washing was done, the rubber soles were intact but the canvas had shrunk about 2 sizes so to get them on I would have had to cut my toes off.

By now I was feeling a strange pain in my ankle.

Finally I got to open up the package and get my hands on the Chandlers record. It was fucked. I saw straight away I was going to lose money on it.

As the last few days have progressed, my ankle has got bigger and bigger to the point where I went to the doctors yesterday to report that I had contracted elephantisis in one leg. She said I'd sprained my ankle.

Today I sold the Chandlers for £200, losing nearly £70 on the deal.

I heard it tell me to piss off as I posted it.

I sit here, a lone, hobbledyhoy figure, unable to get down the stairs because my ankle hurts so much...and it's all down to those damn Chandlers :angry: :angry: :angry:

Edited March 15, 2006 by Pete-S

[Guest Netspeaky]

Here's an absolute disaster story from start to finish.

I bought The Chandlers on Colsoul from the States, it cost about £215 I think, I thought I could make £100 profit on it...anyway, the bloke I bought it off put the value on it at $300, so our lovely customs officers charged me £54 tax.

Anyway they don't bother delivering these, you have to ring them up to arrange a later delivery or a pick up. The parcelforce office is in Atcham just outside Shrewsbury which is about 25 miles away from me, but I thought it might be a nice ride out, and I could pick up a couple of italian job deep pan pizzas from telford (the only place they do them round here) on the way.

So it starts snowing just as I set off.

I decide to get petrol and cash at the same time so I don't bother going to the only service station on the way, and I get into Telford, park outside Deep pan Pizza and go off to order. Deep pan Pizza doesn't open for another 3 hours.

So then I get back on the motorway and take the turn of for Atcham. I go 5 miles past the business park where I am meant to go, and end up in Shewsbury. I turn round and eventually find the place, hand over the money and take my record.

By now it is pouring down with rain and sleet.

I get on the motorway where I got off, and travel around 500 yards before the engine cuts out and I run out of petrol.

So I have to leave the warning indicators flashing, and attempt to climb 30 feet up this grassy bank, in the pouring rain, and I don't have a coat, just a jumper.

After about 10 minutes of one step forward to steps back comedy climbing, I get to the top of the bank, and there is a fance about 5 foot high with barbred wire on the top. Beyond that is a field, and a road. So I manage to get on top of the fence, get my balance, and leap off into the field, landing brilliantly flat footed in the mud and letting out a high pitched scream of pain.

I make it to the road and find a yokel, he says there's a garage about a mile down the road, so I run all the way to the garage.

Why didn't I phone for help I hear you say? Because my phone had run out of credit and I could not work out how to dial up and get more!

I bought an empty petrol can and filled it up, and some kind soul overheard my plight, and asked me where I'd broken down. By the bridge I said. I meant a footbridge. he took me 2 miles back down the wrong way to the motorway bridge. I had to tell him we'd gone in the wrong direction, and after he dropped me off, he had to go miles out of his way to get off the motorway!

OK so far so bad. I poured the petrol into the tank, and spilled half of it on me, so when I finally got home, I put all my clothes in the wash and that included my favourite pair of shoes which are Vans, I had them imported as they stopped making that style about 5 years back. When the washing was done, the rubber soles were intact but the canvas had shrunk about 2 sizes so to get them on I would have had to cut my toes off.

By now I was feeling a strange pain in my ankle.

Finally I got to open up the package and get my hands on the Chandlers record. It was fucked. I saw straight away I was going to lose money on it.

As the last few days have progressed, my ankle has got bigger and bigger to the point where I went to the doctors yesterday to report that I had contracted elephantisis in one leg. She said I'd sprained my ankle.

Today I sold the Chandlers for £200, losing nearly £70 on the deal.

I heard it tell me to piss off as I posted it.

I sit here, a lone, hobbledyhoy figure, unable to get down the stairs because my ankle hurts so much...and it's all down to those damn Chandlers :angry: :angry: :angry:

Send this to Readers Digest they'll defo give you a tenner to print it, it reduce your loss, sorry Pete I'm laughing while I type this, hope your ankle gets better soon.

[Guest Dan]

I heard it tell me to piss off as I posted it.

one of the all-time great stories, graced by one of the all-time great lines

[Pete S]

one of the all-time great stories, graced by one of the all-time great lines

Thank you Dan - and I swear, every word of that is true. It's the shoes I feel sorry for.

[Dave Moore]

Ahh Pete, the trials and tribulations of a record dealer!

Hope the ankle gets better soon.

Regards,

Dave

www.hitsvillesoulclub.com

[Mace]

Could be worse, you could have got food poisoning off the pizzas

[Pete S]

Could be worse, you could have got food poisoning off the pizzas

Oh very funny. On saturday, I actually drove over to telford because my missus was still going on about the fact that I failed in my mission to secure the pizzas, so I got two pizzas, first I tried to eat a slice while driving and the topping slid off into my lap, but that was the only mishap - until about 2am the following morning when I had the runs for a good 2 hours.

[Pete S]

Just to up this back to the top and then I'll leave it, my foot is so painful now that I am going to have to go to bed, and watch the football from there whilst sipping Baileys and eating my birthday chocolates, leaving davina to quiten down and feed the baby, and walk the dogs last thing, goodnight everyone

[Guest]

Pete thats two posts i've read of yours in the last hour, that are very funny....your growing on me....

[Pete S]

Pete thats two posts i've read of yours in the last hour, that are very funny....your growing on me....

I am funny, you just don't get me

[Guest]

Here's an absolute disaster story from start to finish.

I bought The Chandlers on Colsoul from the States, it cost about £215 I think, I thought I could make £100 profit on it...anyway, the bloke I bought it off put the value on it at $300, so our lovely customs officers charged me £54 tax.

Today I sold the Chandlers for £200, losing nearly £70 on the deal.

I heard it tell me to piss off as I posted it.

I sit here, a lone, hobbledyhoy figure, unable to get down the stairs because my ankle hurts so much...and it's all down to those damn Chandlers :angry: :angry: :angry:

Could you not have waited 6 months and then made a profit? We're talking about Your Heart Makes me Lonely? Nice tempo change mid break

Edited March 15, 2006 by Stapler

[Supercorsa]

Pete,

You should put on the dressing gown & slippers you won last year, then put your feet up and watch the TV that came with them and relax. I dunno, the joys of being a record dealer.

I hope your leg/ankle gets better soon.

Ian.

[Pete S]

Could you not have waited 6 months and then made a profit? We're talking about Your Heart Makes me Lonely? Nice tempo change mid break

I'm afraid I don't have the luxury of being able to wait 6 months to make a profit - I have to recoup the money I lay out straight away or I don't eat.

[Codfromderby]

in a similar vein, i once sold an american mgm demo of "my bonnie" by the beatles (not soul i know) to a scooterist type, i watched him walk away after paying his £40 and saw him drop the record on to the pavement, never thought anything about it till later when i bumped into him in town he was obviously worse for wear, and starting ranting that i had sold him a broken record, he then proceeded to attack me with both fists flying, being a bit of a lad in those days i thought i had defended my self well but got chucked bodily out of the pub by the bouncers straight into the arms of two coppers who chucked me in their car, after being cautioned and made aware of "pub watch" i was informed that i was banned from that pub. to top it off the taxi driver taking me home commented on my new cp company shirt that cost me £75 saying nice shirt mate, pity about the front chest pocket being ripped off

[Bigsoulman]

Here's an absolute disaster story from start to finish.

I bought The Chandlers on Colsoul from the States, it cost about £215 I think, I thought I could make £100 profit on it...anyway, the bloke I bought it off put the value on it at $300, so our lovely customs officers charged me £54 tax.

Anyway they don't bother delivering these, you have to ring them up to arrange a later delivery or a pick up. The parcelforce office is in Atcham just outside Shrewsbury which is about 25 miles away from me, but I thought it might be a nice ride out, and I could pick up a couple of italian job deep pan pizzas from telford (the only place they do them round here) on the way.

So it starts snowing just as I set off.

I decide to get petrol and cash at the same time so I don't bother going to the only service station on the way, and I get into Telford, park outside Deep pan Pizza and go off to order. Deep pan Pizza doesn't open for another 3 hours.

So then I get back on the motorway and take the turn of for Atcham. I go 5 miles past the business park where I am meant to go, and end up in Shewsbury. I turn round and eventually find the place, hand over the money and take my record.

By now it is pouring down with rain and sleet.

I get on the motorway where I got off, and travel around 500 yards before the engine cuts out and I run out of petrol.

So I have to leave the warning indicators flashing, and attempt to climb 30 feet up this grassy bank, in the pouring rain, and I don't have a coat, just a jumper.

After about 10 minutes of one step forward to steps back comedy climbing, I get to the top of the bank, and there is a fance about 5 foot high with barbred wire on the top. Beyond that is a field, and a road. So I manage to get on top of the fence, get my balance, and leap off into the field, landing brilliantly flat footed in the mud and letting out a high pitched scream of pain.

I make it to the road and find a yokel, he says there's a garage about a mile down the road, so I run all the way to the garage.

Why didn't I phone for help I hear you say? Because my phone had run out of credit and I could not work out how to dial up and get more!

I bought an empty petrol can and filled it up, and some kind soul overheard my plight, and asked me where I'd broken down. By the bridge I said. I meant a footbridge. he took me 2 miles back down the wrong way to the motorway bridge. I had to tell him we'd gone in the wrong direction, and after he dropped me off, he had to go miles out of his way to get off the motorway!

OK so far so bad. I poured the petrol into the tank, and spilled half of it on me, so when I finally got home, I put all my clothes in the wash and that included my favourite pair of shoes which are Vans, I had them imported as they stopped making that style about 5 years back. When the washing was done, the rubber soles were intact but the canvas had shrunk about 2 sizes so to get them on I would have had to cut my toes off.

By now I was feeling a strange pain in my ankle.

Finally I got to open up the package and get my hands on the Chandlers record. It was fucked. I saw straight away I was going to lose money on it.

As the last few days have progressed, my ankle has got bigger and bigger to the point where I went to the doctors yesterday to report that I had contracted elephantisis in one leg. She said I'd sprained my ankle.

Today I sold the Chandlers for £200, losing nearly £70 on the deal.

I heard it tell me to piss off as I posted it.

I sit here, a lone, hobbledyhoy figure, unable to get down the stairs because my ankle hurts so much...and it's all down to those damn Chandlers :angry: :angry: :angry:

Your story makes me lonely Peter

Lenny

[Pete S]

in a similar vein, i once sold an american mgm demo of "my bonnie" by the beatles (not soul i know) to a scooterist type, i watched him walk away after paying his £40 and saw him drop the record on to the pavement, never thought anything about it till later when i bumped into him in town he was obviously worse for wear, and starting ranting that i had sold him a broken record, he then proceeded to attack me with both fists flying, being a bit of a lad in those days i thought i had defended my self well but got chucked bodily out of the pub by the bouncers straight into the arms of two coppers who chucked me in their car, after being cautioned and made aware of "pub watch" i was informed that i was banned from that pub. to top it off the taxi driver taking me home commented on my new cp company shirt that cost me £75 saying nice shirt mate, pity about the front chest pocket being ripped off

You can't blame him mate, it's only worth £15

[Codfromderby]

You can't blame him mate, it's only worth £15

i really hope he,s not reading this

[Pete S]

Just read this after 3 or 4 months, the post script to this was that my ankle was actually very badly sprained and it's only now, in August, that it's completely pain free. Bloody Chandlers.

[good angel]

Just read this after 3 or 4 months, the post script to this was that my ankle was actually very badly sprained and it's only now, in August, that it's completely pain free. Bloody Chandlers.

Pete,

I think you can get around the tax,If the person sends it to you as a gift.

All the best,Kev,Jarvis.

[Pete S]

Pete,

I think you can get around the tax,If the person sends it to you as a gift.

All the best,Kev,Jarvis.

You can, but you have to ask the senders to this and lately, half of them won't!

[Pete S]

Tragically, Deep Pan Pizza in Telford has now closed down

[Simsy]

Tragically, Deep Pan Pizza in Telford has now closed down

Dusting off another Pete-S classic thread? Nice one!

That 10k'll be there before you know it mate.

Wasn't the slippers/monitor/prison thread bumped a while back?

[KevH]

you can get a cream for Chandlers.......................or is that Chalfonts?

[Guest Bogue]

Tragically, Deep Pan Pizza in Telford has now closed down

What an elaborate ruse just to hide the fact you bought a shite pair of trainers !

How did you manage to fabricate all those replies ?

[Guest rachel]

Dusting off another Pete-S classic thread? Nice one!

That 10k'll be there before you know it mate.

Wasn't the slippers/monitor/prison thread bumped a while back?

https://www.soul-source.co.uk/index.p...pic=4969&hl=

[Simsy]

https://www.soul-source.co.uk/index.p...pic=4969&hl=

Classic and apologies to Pete as I noticed you posted the Chandlers thread link in the Carstairs thread.

Anyway enough from me, my 4000th really has to mean something!

[Pete S]

Some interesting news, after over 5 years I have decided to risk it and bought a copy of The Chandlers from the States this afternoon, let's hope it doesn't carry the curse with it