‘It Shouldn’T Happen To A D.j’

[Mickjay33]

djing at a local church charity do playing the can can bird in front of the disco was well into it legs in the air splits the lot as she got more into it her legs got higher showing stockings suspenders and a g string me being me started taking the p+++s everybody was howling apart from 1 bloke who ran up to me and told m to leave her alone i said why its only a bit of fun he said i know but thats the vicars wife by the time the record had finished she had crawled under a table no i did not let it drop turned into a great night at end the vicar came up to me slipped me an extra £10 and said his wife wont wear that sort of stuff again

[Len]

I was just going to ask you that question! Had some crazy times when Dom was about, usually involved fighting with the locals on Mod Rallies (him, not me!)

Len - Danny Huff & the Ugly Bugglies :o) I was at that rally, & I apologise for giving you the evils lolol

Good god, so you were! I'm pretty sure I have a photo of you there (You haven't changed a bit by the way ) It did fluff a few feathers though didn't it?! - You know me, facetious for the sake of it even back then

Len.

Edited August 22, 2012 by LEN

[Alison H]

Good god, so you were! I'm pretty sure I have a photo of you there (You haven't changed a bit by the way ) It did fluff a few feathers though didn't it?! - You know me, facetious for the sake of it even back then

Len.

To be fair, I probably did like the record, I just wasn't at the height of my zone at that moment in time

Don't change your ways Len

[Ian Dewhirst]

This is painful but true.

When I was up in Leeds in the late 70's I deejayed for a while at a huge bar/club opposite Leeds Train station called Amnesia.

Since Amnesia was formally a bank, they ended up building a balcony and stage area about 20 feet above the ground level and the only way you could get up to the DJ stand was via a metal ladder which went up through a trapdoor in the floor of the new balcony and was accessible behind the bar. At the bottom of the metal ladder there were two 'handrests' which inexplicably had spikes at the top of each one.

Over the course of the next few months, so many people were going up and down the ladder that one of the holding screws on the right-hand top of the ladder starting working loose.

On this particular night, the place was packed and being the DJ and having to keep popping up and down the ladder to get drinks, go for a piss etc, etc, everyone would see me zipping up and zipping down this ladder every hour or so.

The place was peaking at around 10.00pm and I thought I'd better get a drink in to glide through till 11.30pm and closing time, so I zipped over to the trapdoor and started down the ladder when the right hand-screw came loose which suddenly spun the ladder round and I lost my footing.

Result was, I ended up sliding 20 feet down the left-hand side of the ladder and the only thing which prevented me crashing to the floor was the fact that my balls slammed into the spiked armrest at around 20 mph resulting in me literally hanging by my balls about 4 feet above the ground.

This was in front of around 1000 people who witnessed the whole thing.

The pain was f*ckin' indescribable - essentially the most pain I've ever endured in my entire life. But the thing is, 'cos everyone was watching, I couldn't be uncool. So despite the white-hot shards of pain which were screaming from my balls, I very cooly shook my head and then lifted my balls off the spike and very gingerely continued to the bottom of the ladder.

I then went down to the loo, went in a cubicle, assumed a foetus-like position on the floor and bawled my eyes out.

After about 10-15 minutes, the pain subsided enough for me to very carefully stand up. I didn't dare even look at the damage 'cos I didn't really want to see it. But the pain was subsiding, so I carefully walked back upstairs, got my drink, very carefully went back up the f*ckin' ladder and started deejaying again. I had a seat up there but I couldn't actually sit down - it was that tender. But the show must go on etc, etc.....

A couple of hours later, I'd had a few more drinks and seemed to be a bit more mobile and ended up going to my second gig of the night up at the In-Time.

I'd been after one of the dancers up there for a while and typically she decided to choose this night for some action, so by 3.00am I was over at her place and she wanted to give me the works. I mentioned to her about the 20mph balls-spike scenario and told her I wasn't feeling as robust as usual but that just seemed to encourage her. So we ended up having a pretty intense session. By this point I'd had a ton of drinks and had gone past the point of pain so it didn't seem too bad at the time.

Anyway, I woke up the next morning tried to swing out of bed and collapsed in agony. Oh and my balls were the size of 2 massive grapefruits. Couldn't move at all. They had to send an ambulance and take me to hospital.

It turned out that I'd badly twisted my epidydimis and the sex session has basically exploded my balls. Here's some backgound info on the epidydimus by the way:-

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epididymis

The whole thing cost me 10 days in hospital before it was eventually sorted out.

However the new balls have been so much better than the old ones ever were.......

There's actually a further embarassing postscript to this, but the post-traumatic stress of writing all this up for the first time ever has made me want to assume a foetal position again!

Ian D

[Mak]

Cued a record up , pressed play , faded the last record out , then lifted the arm up on the record that was playing

[Len]

Worst:

Downstairs at one of the Brighton Alldayers, when the decks didnt have proper centres, but those click in plastic jobs. The decks also didn't have much in the way of lighting and half way through the set instead of clipping into the record the centre flicked out never to be seen again the rest of the set was interesting. :yes:

Bizarre:

The night at These Old Shoes when one deck packed up and Jo kept up the patter whilst Martin or myself got the next record sorted. Her introduction for Little Charles and the Sidewinders on Decca was priceless, 'This ones got a pink label'

Yes, the D.Jing off one deck is another one of the many nightmares I suffer regularly — Christ knows what my 7 and 3 year old kids think when I wake up crying and they have to comfort me — It can't be right can it?!

I think it would be fair to say most D.J's get at least a little nervous before their spots, some just before, others weeks before.....and yes, some months before....most know which category I fit into (ahem)....Surffice to say, the first time I D.Jed at the 100 Club, you could say I was a tad wound up. I got there just 20 minutes after it opened, not only to be told we were on one deck but also that my first spot had already started! (Ady obviously didn't do what I did after booking D.J's and that's to ring them with the D.J times three weeks prior and then treble check they were coming on the Monday before.... )

...This really was what my nightmares were made up of - I rushed down the stairs, everyone I passed saying "You're on now Len!"Â...."ÂI f*ckin' know!"Â (I said with my eyes because my mouth was to dry to speak) Up I went, with my coat still on, luckily the other deck had started and Russ Vickers (who was D.Jing) kindly "Ëœput me at ease' and off I went, I don't think I took my coat off for a good while as I was in shock!

....In hindsight, it was probably best it happened that way...

Len.

Edited August 22, 2012 by LEN

[Len]

This is painful but true.

When I was up in Leeds in the late 70's I deejayed for a while at a huge bar/club opposite Leeds Train station called Amnesia.

Since Amnesia was formally a bank, they ended up building a balcony and stage area about 20 feet above the ground level and the only way you could get up to the DJ stand was via a metal ladder which went up through a trapdoor in the floor of the new balcony and was accessible behind the bar. At the bottom of the metal ladder there were two 'handrests' which inexplicably had spikes at the top of each one.

Over the course of the next few months, so many people were going up and down the ladder that one of the holding screws on the right-hand top of the ladder starting working loose.

On this particular night, the place was packed and being the DJ and having to keep popping up and down the ladder to get drinks, go for a piss etc, etc, everyone would see me zipping up and zipping down this ladder every hour or so.

The place was peaking at around 10.00pm and I thought I'd better get a drink in to glide through till 11.30pm and closing time, so I zipped over to the trapdoor and started down the ladder when the right hand-screw came loose which suddenly spun the ladder round and I lost my footing.

Result was, I ended up sliding 20 feet down the left-hand side of the ladder and the only thing which prevented me crashing to the floor was the fact that my balls slammed into the spiked armrest at around 20 mph resulting in me literally hanging by my balls about 4 feet above the ground.

This was in front of around 1000 people who witnessed the whole thing.

The pain was f*ckin' indescribable - essentially the most pain I've ever endured in my entire life. But the thing is, 'cos everyone was watching, I couldn't be uncool. So despite the white-hot shards of pain which were screaming from my balls, I very cooly shook my head and then lifted my balls off the spike and very gingerely continued to the bottom of the ladder.

I then went down to the loo, went in a cubicle, assumed a foetus-like position on the floor and bawled my eyes out.

After about 10-15 minutes, the pain subsided enough for me to very carefully stand up. I didn't dare even look at the damage 'cos I didn't really want to see it. But the pain was subsiding, so I carefully walked back upstairs, got my drink, very carefully went back up the f*ckin' ladder and started deejaying again. I had a seat up there but I couldn't actually sit down - it was that tender. But the show must go on etc, etc.....

A couple of hours later, I'd had a few more drinks and seemed to be a bit more mobile and ended up going to my second gig of the night up at the In-Time.

I'd been after one of the dancers up there for a while and typically she decided to choose this night for some action, so by 3.00am I was over at her place and she wanted to give me the works. I mentioned to her about the 20mph balls-spike scenario and told her I wasn't feeling as robust as usual but that just seemed to encourage her. So we ended up having a pretty intense session. By this point I'd had a ton of drinks and had gone past the point of pain so it didn't seem too bad at the time.

Anyway, I woke up the next morning tried to swing out of bed and collapsed in agony. Oh and my balls were the size of 2 massive grapefruits. Couldn't move at all. They had to send an ambulance and take me to hospital.

It turned out that I'd badly twisted my epidydimis and the sex session has basically exploded my balls. Here's some backgound info on the epidydimus by the way:-

https://en.wikipedia....wiki/Epididymis

The whole thing cost me 10 days in hospital before it was eventually sorted out.

However the new balls have been so much better than the old ones ever were.......

There's actually a further embarassing postscript to this, but the post-traumatic stress of writing all this up for the first time ever has made me want to assume a foetal position again!

Ian D

Oh my f*ckin' god!.....Thanks for sharing that Ian.....more nightmares.....I'm not going to bed tonight....

All the best,

Len.

Edited August 22, 2012 by LEN

[Len]

Cued a record up , pressed play , faded the last record out , then lifted the arm up on the record that was playing

Classic! - We've all done it....I think....

Len

[Stubbsy]

Cued a record up , pressed play , faded the last record out , then lifted the arm up on the record that was playing

Classic! - We've all done it....I think....

Len

Well I certainly have

[Stubbsy]

Bizarre:

The night at These Old Shoes when one deck packed up and Jo kept up the patter whilst Martin or myself got the next record sorted. Her introduction for Little Charles and the Sidewinders on Decca was priceless, 'This ones got a pink label'

Remember that night well Andy!

Where is Jo when we need her? As I recall she had some hilarious tales to tell from her dj'ing experiences

[hullsoul]

The aggression from people is what I find so puzzling, but it can usually be put down to them possessing an IQ which numerically is smaller than their shoe size in most instances so it's never worth getting into it with them, best to just smile at them and carry on so it makes them even madder.

Roger

No sorry you aren't allowed to smile at them...........I had someone on here complain that they had come up to ask for a request & I "SMILED" at them.......I've always been a twat like that

Cheers

Martyn the smiler

[hullsoul]

Djing at "do" in Scunthorpe & some younger locals came in........

One came straight up to me & said can you play some Stone Roses........

(Me)No sorry haven't got any as it's soul night...........

(Him)Stone Roses are soul........

No there not.........

Yes they are my mam said........

Oh well yes they are but I still haven't got any............smile

Cheers

Martyn

[Gene-r]

I was just going to ask you that question! Had some crazy times when Dom was about, usually involved fighting with the locals on Mod Rallies (him, not me!)

Alison, the last I heard of Dom was around 1989, when he was DJing on pirate station Swinging Radio England, under the pseudonym of Dirty Dom Perignon. Would be good to hear from him again - if you're out there Dom, post something up and let us know how you're getting on!

[Alison H]

Alison, the last I heard of Dom was around 1989, when he was DJing on pirate station Swinging Radio England, under the pseudonym of Dirty Dom Perignon. Would be good to hear from him again - if you're out there Dom, post something up and let us know how you're getting on!

Here here! how can a character of such standing, seem to disappear.

Fantastic dj, and introduced a lot of quality music on to the mod scene, as did Mace, Rob Messer & some cat called Lenny

[pikeys dog]

I once turned up to DJ at a R&B Allnighter with my Modern and Crossover box... fortunately I had my R&B sales boxes with me.

[Alison H]

I once turned up to DJ at a R&B Allnighter with my Modern and Crossover box... fortunately I had my R&B sales boxes with me.

:lol: :lol:

[Roger Williams]

Here's some backgound info on the epidydimus by the way:-

Wasn't it named after this bloke?

[Julianb]

Lionel Ritchie the best request I've had.

Didn't have that in myplaybox either

[DerekG]

Been told I was a w****ker for not having Moses Smith - You don't love me and playing Epitome of sound instead.

Same punter informed me that Stemmons Express on Wand was a bootleg as it came out on Karma.

He still danced to both - Badly

[Tezza]

Classic! - We've all done it....I think....

Len

yep

[Tezza]

Been told I was a w****ker for not having Moses Smith - You don't love me and playing Epitome of sound instead.

Same punter informed me that Stemmons Express on Wand was a bootleg as it came out on Karma.

He still danced to both - Badly

Playing The Poppies - There's a Pain In My Heart on the Epic WLD, guy approached, scoffed and said, 'Div !! I've got this on an original Red Columbia Special Products' - I bowed to his superior knowledge !!

[Chalky]

This is painful but true.

When I was up in Leeds in the late 70's I deejayed for a while at a huge bar/club opposite Leeds Train station called Amnesia.

Since Amnesia was formally a bank, they ended up building a balcony and stage area about 20 feet above the ground level and the only way you could get up to the DJ stand was via a metal ladder which went up through a trapdoor in the floor of the new balcony and was accessible behind the bar. At the bottom of the metal ladder there were two 'handrests' which inexplicably had spikes at the top of each one.

Over the course of the next few months, so many people were going up and down the ladder that one of the holding screws on the right-hand top of the ladder starting working loose.

On this particular night, the place was packed and being the DJ and having to keep popping up and down the ladder to get drinks, go for a piss etc, etc, everyone would see me zipping up and zipping down this ladder every hour or so.

The place was peaking at around 10.00pm and I thought I'd better get a drink in to glide through till 11.30pm and closing time, so I zipped over to the trapdoor and started down the ladder when the right hand-screw came loose which suddenly spun the ladder round and I lost my footing.

Result was, I ended up sliding 20 feet down the left-hand side of the ladder and the only thing which prevented me crashing to the floor was the fact that my balls slammed into the spiked armrest at around 20 mph resulting in me literally hanging by my balls about 4 feet above the ground.

This was in front of around 1000 people who witnessed the whole thing.

The pain was f*ckin' indescribable - essentially the most pain I've ever endured in my entire life. But the thing is, 'cos everyone was watching, I couldn't be uncool. So despite the white-hot shards of pain which were screaming from my balls, I very cooly shook my head and then lifted my balls off the spike and very gingerely continued to the bottom of the ladder.

I then went down to the loo, went in a cubicle, assumed a foetus-like position on the floor and bawled my eyes out.

After about 10-15 minutes, the pain subsided enough for me to very carefully stand up. I didn't dare even look at the damage 'cos I didn't really want to see it. But the pain was subsiding, so I carefully walked back upstairs, got my drink, very carefully went back up the f*ckin' ladder and started deejaying again. I had a seat up there but I couldn't actually sit down - it was that tender. But the show must go on etc, etc.....

A couple of hours later, I'd had a few more drinks and seemed to be a bit more mobile and ended up going to my second gig of the night up at the In-Time.

I'd been after one of the dancers up there for a while and typically she decided to choose this night for some action, so by 3.00am I was over at her place and she wanted to give me the works. I mentioned to her about the 20mph balls-spike scenario and told her I wasn't feeling as robust as usual but that just seemed to encourage her. So we ended up having a pretty intense session. By this point I'd had a ton of drinks and had gone past the point of pain so it didn't seem too bad at the time.

Anyway, I woke up the next morning tried to swing out of bed and collapsed in agony. Oh and my balls were the size of 2 massive grapefruits. Couldn't move at all. They had to send an ambulance and take me to hospital.

It turned out that I'd badly twisted my epidydimis and the sex session has basically exploded my balls. Here's some backgound info on the epidydimus by the way:-

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epididymis

The whole thing cost me 10 days in hospital before it was eventually sorted out.

However the new balls have been so much better than the old ones ever were.......

There's actually a further embarassing postscript to this, but the post-traumatic stress of writing all this up for the first time ever has made me want to assume a foetal position again!

Ian D

Ian, I'm trying to work out how one looks cool dangling from a spike by your boll*cks?

Great story, made me laugh (and cry)

[Jerry Hipkiss]

Cued a record up , pressed play , faded the last record out , then lifted the arm up on the record that was playing

Think we've all done that one! ...Ooops, should have finished reading the thread before I posted!!!

Edited August 23, 2012 by Jerry Hipkiss

[Guest AndyL]

I don't think I had much choice! No doubt that chap enjoyed our little 'connection' through us both owning records. Why spoil it by disagreeing with him? - It would be so disagreeable

Len.

Ha yes Len . It was a good time mate and certainly a night to remember. Thought John pin nock would have a seizure as he was laughing so much. But hey the night was superb as always. Andy

[Ian Dewhirst]

Ian, I'm trying to work out how one looks cool dangling from a spike by your boll*cks?

Great story, made me laugh (and cry)

And here's the other embarassment linked to the first one.....

"Exploding Balls" - The Epilogue

So, shortly after I was admitted to hospital, the first thing they had to do was 'drain' my balls to relieve the pressure on my twisted epididymus. This meant that a young lady had to insert a drainage tube into my ball sac which continued the pain threshold to even greater heights. Also, because of my unfeasibly large testicles the only position that I could really adopt, was to lay in bed with my legs wide open so I didn't accidentally smash my grapefruit-sized balls with one of my legs.

It was whilst I was in this position in my hospital bed aproximately 24 hours later, when a consultant doctor and 12 trainee medical students started doing the rounds of the ward. Immediately, I recognised at least 3 young female students who were regulars at the Warehouse, one of which I really fancied.

Imagine my horror, when the consultant doctor headed over to my bed with the 12 students and then pulled the curtain around my area and asked me what my ailment was.

What else could I do? I had to tell 'em that I'd slid down a 20ft ladder and impaled my testicles on a metal spike.

Already the 3 female students were smirking but the sting in the tail, was when I had to basically hoist my arse in the air and show all 12 students my swollen grapefruit balls complete with the bespoke ball-sac drainage tube.

I never did get to meet her again. I mean, there's simply no coming back from some situations is there?

Ian D

[Soulman]

And here's the other embarassment linked to the first one.....

"Exploding Balls" - The Epilogue

So, shortly after I was admitted to hospital, the first thing they had to do was 'drain' my balls to relieve the pressure on my twisted epididymus. This meant that a young lady had to insert a drainage tube into my ball sac which continued the pain threshold to even greater heights. Also, because of my unfeasibly large testicles the only position that I could really adopt, was to lay in bed with my legs wide open so I didn't accidentally smash my grapefruit-sized balls with one of my legs.

It was whilst I was in this position in my hospital bed aproximately 24 hours later, when a consultant doctor and 12 trainee medical students started doing the rounds of the ward. Immediately, I recognised at least 3 young female students who were regulars at the Warehouse, one of which I really fancied.

Imagine my horror, when the consultant doctor headed over to my bed with the 12 students and then pulled the curtain around my area and asked me what my ailment was.

What else could I do? I had to tell 'em that I'd slid down a 20ft ladder and impaled my testicles on a metal spike.

Already the 3 female students were smirking but the sting in the tail, was when I had to basically hoist my arse in the air and show all 12 students my swollen grapefruit balls complete with the bespoke ball-sac drainage tube.

I never did get to meet her again. I mean, there's simply no coming back from some situations is there?

Ian D

Always wondered why you walked like John Wayne Ian. Now we know

Steve

[Chalky]

Brilliant Ian

epididymus.....you couldn't make that name up, sounds like something Ken Dodd would call one of the Diddy Men

[KevH]

Cued a record up , pressed play , faded the last record out , then lifted the arm up on the record that was playing

Aaah,happy days Mak. .Who was the inspiration for that? I bet that's more common that's getting your balls spiked.

[Haydn]

Punter;Can you play some proppa northern soul??

And what would you class as proper northern I asked, as a full dancefloor was shuffling to Millionaires-I thought about you.

Punter; Frankie Valli The Night or something.

Me; F#ck off and phone a taxi ye muppet

[Len]

I hope this thread gives some insight to what it's really like to D.J - From the outside, it looks easy and just good fun, but in reality there's so much to be thinking about and as you can see - The "ËœDecks Pest' really is an irritating species!

Every D.J "Ëœworth their salt' never forgets that the real talent is in the records they are playing of course, but there are ways of "Ëœserving them up' correctly. D.J's develop unique ways of doing this which are so subtle; they are hardly noticeable but make a huge difference between them playing a good or a bad set. Unique is one of the most important things, I read somewhere once - "If you're going to play records in public, you must do it your way and no one else's"Â I thought that was very true.

Having a decent box of records alone does not make a good D.J, if played wrong it will end up being a "ËœStilted' set. Yes, each individual record may be absolutely fantastic but if played (what I call) by "Ëœone at a time' D.Jing, e.g. — "This is good"Â....."Âoh, and this is good"Â...."Âum, this is good to"Â, it simply won't flow. There are many things that make a set flow, genre, tempo, but also subtle things a D.J can say on the mike which can also steer the set in a different direction nice and smoothly.

All these things and many more are (in most cases) only developed with years of experience and is why we should appreciate the real masters, because they simply can't be replaced with just anyone

All the best,

Len.

Edited August 23, 2012 by LEN

[TommieOnTheSpot]

Best - First time I played at a nighter, remember playing The Vel-Vets - I Got To Find Me Somebody and watched the dancefloor floor ram, got one of the most euphoric feelings in the world!

Bizarre - DJing in London:

Student Girl: Have you got the Train Song?

Me: Do you mean Don Thomas - Come On Train?

Student Girl: No it's like a woman singing

Me: What does it go like?

Student Girl: It goes something like 'Standing at the station, waiting for a number 8 train, it's raining it's pouring, hope it ain't a late train, la la la la la la la...'

Me:

Worse - Being asked to play 'Rubin - Youve Been Away' telling them I didn't have a copy, then being asked to play it off their comp CD from their car and give a shout out to them...

Edited August 23, 2012 by nstomp97

[Wiggyflat]

And a top man he was! Wonder what he's doing now?

Dom Bassett....he was driving haulage trucks for a while and i believe he is into architectural salvage now...admitted to me he played Will Power off a carver.Always liked bit of violence.! and refuses to deejay anywhere.

[nickp]

Hi

Djing at the Arches in Glasgow one Saturday night, first record on,approx 500 on the floor, when the Kodak Carousel projector above one of the decks came loose and fell on the arm of the deck that was playing.

The solid steel case of the projector smashed the arm and I had to play with one deck for about an hour until a spare was finally produced.

My set was dictated by looking for the longest 12" mixes that I could find and ,with each turnaround taking approx. 10 seconds, the whole place booed me during the silent parts thinking that I was unable to cue the next record in time.

Nick.

[Spacehopper]

used to often get asked for oasis at an indie nite i done by pissed students...while it was on the decks playing!

opposite to that its great when someone asks for a tune and its lined up on the deck next...love to see their face light up...must be on the same wave lengh

worst one i reckon is when they ask for something you havnt got..normally always oldies such as frank wilson or the snake etc....and their next question is 'what HAVE you got then?'...er 200 singles,want me to name em all?!

another reggae story..playing liquidator in bristol not long after moving down here in a late pub i was resident at...bloke walk up to the decks with a bristol rovers hat on telling me to take it off cos it was shit...no its not,people are dancin...its shit take it off...no mate...then he rips the needle off the record...obviously the whole pub turns to look at me...what the bloke didnt realise was the landlord was standing behind him...within 30 secs his arm was up his back,face against the door,the other door open,out on the floor and door shut...see ya!..turns out bristol city were playing that tune a lot at ashton gate..which reminds me...

back in norwich at a reggae venue we were doin we were getting a good rep with the 'blacks' from ipswich...i was getting tunes straight from jamaica...now norwich has no real black community like ipswich as such and you can get a lot of racist people at reggae nites believe it or not add to that norwich and ipswich fans hate each other...anyway..one night it was rammed maybe 120 people with at least 15 from ipswich..i was just thinkin how good it had been that we had got to the last tune with no trouble...all of a sudden it kicked off and a bottle came flying towards me hit the decks (which were at chest height)...missed the record and needle but smashed into pieces...missed me but hit the landlord who was standing next to me ready to turn the lights on.. just under the eye giving him 6 stitches...another venue gone we thought but he was ok about it....he did a runner a few months later with all the money oweing loads!

dean

[Russ Vickers]

Yes, the D.Jing off one deck is another one of the many nightmares I suffer regularly — Christ knows what my 7 and 3 year old kids think when I wake up crying and they have to comfort me — It can't be right can it?!

I think it would be fair to say most D.J's get at least a little nervous before their spots, some just before, others weeks before.....and yes, some months before....most know which category I fit into (ahem)....Surffice to say, the first time I D.Jed at the 100 Club, you could say I was a tad wound up. I got there just 20 minutes after it opened, not only to be told we were on one deck but also that my first spot had already started! (Ady obviously didn't do what I did after booking D.J's and that's to ring them with the D.J times three weeks prior and then treble check they were coming on the Monday before.... )

...This really was what my nightmares were made up of - I rushed down the stairs, everyone I passed saying "You're on now Len!"Â...."ÂI f*ckin' know!"Â (I said with my eyes because my mouth was to dry to speak) Up I went, with my coat still on, luckily the other deck had started and Russ Vickers (who was D.Jing) kindly "Ëœput me at ease' and off I went, I don't think I took my coat off for a good while as I was in shock!

....In hindsight, it was probably best it happened that way...

Len.

And no one would ever have known mate, you nailed it as ever !

Best Russ

Edited August 23, 2012 by Russ Vickers

[Northern Soul Uk]

Being a DJ for some 38 years you can imagine that I have had some very bizarre instances, but one stands out more than most of the others.

I was playing in a club in Leeds, now called 'HiFi' but then called 'Liquid'. I was playing along merrily to a packed club with no problems. Can I add here that the DJ stand was in a corner of the club which consisted of not much more than a sturdy table with the equipment on and no protection from knobheads, of which one now enters the story.

So there I was playing away, when the aforementioned person came up to the DJ stand looked at the record that was playing, stopped it with his hand, turned it round so the the label was the right way for him to read it, turned round to his friend and said;

'See, I told you it was that one".

He then let the record go and carried on as if nothing had happened.

I was so stunned as were the folk that saw it happen, that we didn't say or do anything, just carried on regardless and spoke about it for years later

As I say, there are many more instances that have happened to me whilst DJing, but I'm saving them all, as I might write a book on it one day :-)

Edited August 23, 2012 by Steve Luigi

[Russ Vickers]

I think over the years I have experienced most of the nightmares related so far, with the exception of Ian of course, I think that must be a unique DJ experience.

The one thing that I always remember tho, as a DJ/Promoter, was at one of the 'Uptown Down South' Soul Nights at Abshott , I had a very eclectic music policy, playing everything from Northern thru to new releases & everything in between.

When I first started Abshott I was nervous about the reaction of the club dance floor to the music policy, as back then it was quite unusual, but it all seemed to work very well, altho I always worried....but the night that I knew we had cracked it, was when we had a full house & full dance floor, never missing a beat, regardless of decade or genre - I was waiting to get my drink at a very busy bar between records & a guy one side of me says 'Too much Modern Russ, sort it out' - the guy to the other side of me simultaneously was saying 'Too much Northern Russ - sort it out'.....thats when I knew I had got it right !!!.

Russ

[Guest Byrney]

Going back to the days when I had a bit of a collection, had a few strange moments.

First me and Joan early 90s Djing in Alfreton. We were spinning stuff fairly in vogue at the time: Joanne Baker, Danny Woods (90 days) New Yorkers, Delegates of Soul etc and some locals were asking us for really well known sking in the snow type oldies. Neither of us had that kind of stuff, wasnt booked to play that and it wasn't that kind of night. So we carried on playing to the regulars but throwing in the odd well known oldie if we had them. But after a while they got quite abusive. Thus after a while so did we as I'm not (and you know Joanie ain't) up for taking too much sh!t.

Ended up with a bit if a stand off with the promoter separating us from a few knobbers who were looking for a toe to toe. We were encouraged by the promoter to leave so we did. Returned to the next one I was booked to do with Colin Law as guest, we carried on as before, same angry crowd was there but this time were off their nappers on E, arms all around us - invited us to a rave, you're my Bessie mate etc; good night had by all

I've told this one before, not soul related but I like it so here goes.

I got asked late 80s to Dj at some of the early VFM scooter gigs. The philosophy of VFM then was to play something different from other rally doos, so again I was playing fairly current Northern stuff in between the other DJs playing Indie etc. One afternoon session Lowey the promoter couldn't be arsed to do his spot so paid me to play his records. He had all kinds of stuff from punk, to indie to ska etc and I plucked a few things out.

A NF type bonehead comes over and tells me to "play something by Skrewdriver (a proper sh1te Combat 18, race hate Nazi band) for Dave and the Dagenham Skins" . I nod, he growls and walks off to his grunting mates.

Previous record comes to a close, silence, I then pic up the mike -special request going out to Dave etc... then out of the speakers come the opening words "Free, Free, Free, Nelson Mandala"Â and then the Special Aka tune kicks in.

The Goose Steppers went mad storming towards me... but I'd clocked we had good lads on the door "security to the stage"Â. The Combat 18 Buffoons were ejected from the building and a good awld knees up followed.

Made me smile anyway

Edited August 23, 2012 by Byrney

[Guest]

Bizarre - DJing in London:

Student Girl: Have you got the Train Song?

Me: Do you mean Don Thomas - Come On Train?

Student Girl: No it's like a woman singing

Me: What does it go like?

Student Girl: It goes something like 'Standing at the station, waiting for a number 8 train, it's raining it's pouring, hope it ain't a late train, la la la la la la la...'

Me:

I've had one like that.. Djing with Eddie Piller a couple of years back this Doris asks him for the Pebble record.. Eh? he says what by Paul Weller.. No no says the Doris it's a Northern Soul record.

I told her to sing it.. "I'm just a Pebble on the Beach and i sit and wonder whyy hhyy" She goes. I started giggeling and Piller still didn't know what it was.

Edited August 23, 2012 by Guest

[wiganpotter]

D.Jing for Steve Lyons at the Belvadere hotel in Bournemouth a few years ago , rang Steve up the week previous to enquire what time I was on , Steve said " what time do you want to be on ?" " late as possible" I replied, BIG mistake ..... 12 o-clock arrives and i`m p*ssed as a f@rt . Now D.Jing for Steve s always got a certain problem .. Lighting behind the decks . Use me Torch says Steve ,only problem it`s the same size ,weight and colour as the Mike ...................spent the next 45 mins talking into it ,never realised till someone said " he`s talkin into the fookin torch" ......wondered why I couldnt get the torch to shine

WiganBrian ,

Edited August 23, 2012 by wiganpotter

[Pete S]

Cued a record up , pressed play , faded the last record out , then lifted the arm up on the record that was playing

Done that loads of times, even taken the arm of the record when it's been half way through, no idea why LOL

[Len]

Hi

Djing at the Arches in Glasgow one Saturday night, first record on,approx 500 on the floor, when the Kodak Carousel projector above one of the decks came loose and fell on the arm of the deck that was playing.

The solid steel case of the projector smashed the arm and I had to play with one deck for about an hour until a spare was finally produced.

My set was dictated by looking for the longest 12" mixes that I could find and ,with each turnaround taking approx. 10 seconds, the whole place booed me during the silent parts thinking that I was unable to cue the next record in time.

Nick.

You poor S*d - People are so unforgiving!

Len.

Edited August 23, 2012 by LEN

[Len]

opposite to that its great when someone asks for a tune and its lined up on the deck next...love to see their face light up...must be on the same wave lengh

Hi Dean,

Yes I've had that....but even with the person's huge grin — "Ëœme being me' immediately got paranoid thinking to myself "God, am I really that predictable?...."Â

....My head hurts sometimes.....

All the best,

Len

Edited August 23, 2012 by LEN

[Andy Rix]

I DJ'd at a soul night in Louth one night, maybe 95 or 96. My spot was welcomed with complete indifference. I do recall playing for the first time ever in the UK Marvin Gaye's 'Lucky Lucky Me' and Kim Weston's 'You Hit Me' before they made their debut all-nighter spins at the 100 Club & stuff like J.D. Bryant

Afterwards I was at the bar and this guy with a dour face came up to me ...the conversation went.

Him -Those records in your box worth anything ?

Me - Well yes some of them are

Him - You sure about that

Me - Well i think so

Him - I wouldn't give you 10p for 'em .. you were sh*t

The following weekend I was at the Wilton and told the story to Gary Field .. he was stood with a bloke who then piped up " That was me who spoke to you"

"So who are you then" I asked

Gary said " Can I introduce you to Rob Thomas"

The rest as they say is history

I still laugh about it

Andy

[Len]

Being a DJ for some 38 years you can imagine that I have had some very bizarre instances, but one stands out more than most of the others.

I was playing in a club in Leeds, now called 'HiFi' but then called 'Liquid'. I was playing along merrily to a packed club with no problems. Can I add here that the DJ stand was in a corner of the club which consisted of not much more than a sturdy table with the equipment on and no protection from knobheads, of which one now enters the story.

So there I was playing away, when the aforementioned person came up to the DJ stand looked at the record that was playing, stopped it with his hand, turned it round so the the label was the right way for him to read it, turned round to his friend and said;

'See, I told you it was that one".

He then let the record go and carried on as if nothing had happened.

I was so stunned as were the folk that saw it happen, that we didn't say or do anything, just carried on regardless and spoke about it for years later

As I say, there are many more instances that have happened to me whilst DJing, but I'm saving them all, as I might write a book on it one day :-)

:lol: Strangely, it kinda makes sense if you think about it. Someone on here mentioned a while back (Chalky I think) that they thought it weird how sometimes people come up to the deck to "Ëœcheck' if a record is a "Ëœreal' one, stating — How can they tell when it's spinning round?!!!

I can imagine you not saying anything to the bloke though, as that is such an "Ëœis this really happening?' moment!

Len.

P.s — Good luck with the book, this was actually a book idea but thought a thread so much easier!

Edited August 23, 2012 by LEN

[oldsteve woomble]

Me & Ady ran an all dayer together at The Beachy in Cleethorpes a few years back and we got my bessie mate and all-time top geezer Shaun Kearney to do an afternoon spot for us, cos we knew that he'd get it going. Anyway, one of the local (ahem) 'characters' (and I use that term loosely) was nagging Shaun for a record he'd not brought.... and nagging,,,, and nagging,,,and nagging.... So we're all dancing away, and at the end of the currently spun tune.... an eerie silence... followed by the thud, thud, thud, thud of the needle going round on an unattended and forgotten deck. When we looked up, Shaun had packed up his records and fucked off, totally pissed off by the whinging of said geezer.

Now thats what I call a proper protest. I love that man, one on his own!

[Ian Dewhirst]

I DJ'd at a soul night in Louth one night, maybe 95 or 96. My spot was welcomed with complete indifference. I do recall playing for the first time ever in the UK Marvin Gaye's 'Lucky Lucky Me' and Kim Weston's 'You Hit Me' before they made their debut all-nighter spins at the 100 Club & stuff like J.D. Bryant

Afterwards I was at the bar and this guy with a dour face came up to me ...the conversation went.

Him -Those records in your box worth anything ?

Me - Well yes some of them are

Him - You sure about that

Me - Well i think so

Him - I wouldn't give you 10p for 'em .. you were sh*t

The following weekend I was at the Wilton and told the story to Gary Field .. he was stood with a bloke who then piped up " That was me who spoke to you"

"So who are you then" I asked

Gary said " Can I introduce you to Rob Thomas"

The rest as they say is history

I still laugh about it

Andy

He had you sussed immediately Andy. If he was already well-established on the scene (as he obviously was 'cos I knew the name Rob Thomas too), then I reckon back then he probably thought his best defence was attack if you see what I mean. It was the way of the scene back then - a simple defence mechanism to sort out the wood from the trees.

It was probably the most effective method now that I really think about it. There were so many dickheads who arrived on the scene and were desperate to impress, so it was an almost automatic response to humiliate any newcomers simply in order to see who had the balls to continue. Like an initiation process.

It worked pretty well though didn't it? I take it that eventually you and Rob Thomas would have gravitated towards a better standard of conversation?

Ian D

[Northern Soul Uk]

:lol: Strangely, it kinda makes sense if you think about it. Someone on here mentioned a while back (Chalky I think) that they thought it weird how sometimes people come up to the deck to "Ëœcheck' if a record is a "Ëœreal' one, stating — How can they tell when it's spinning round?!!!

I can imagine you not saying anything to the bloke though, as that is such an "Ëœis this really happening?' moment!

Len.

P.s — Good luck with the book, this was actually a book idea but thought a thread so much easier!

Yeah we've all had the taking the needle off the wrong record, and having a record with an intro at the wrong speed and not noticing til the beat comes in, it's all par for the course of being a DJ.

But what about being turned round looking through your records to see what to play next, and the record that is playing coming to the end, finding the record that you're gonna play, turning round to put it on in a panic to get it cued up in time, and finding that some twat while your backs been turned, has very kindly taken the headshell off the deck you're going to cue up on, and are stood at the other end of the venue waving it in the air laughing?

Yep! Leeds Warehouse in the 80s, remember that Mr Ian Dewhirst with the very piss taking but top man, Paul Vincent? LOL!

I'll never forget it

Edited August 23, 2012 by Steve Luigi

[oldsteve woomble]

It worked pretty well though didn't it? I take it that eventually you and Rob Thomas would have gravitated towards a better standard of conversation?

Ian D

Ey up Ian! I'm sure Rob would be most upset for it to be suggested that he'd ever had a better standard of conversation with anyone!!! Including Andy!!!

(Ain't spoke to him for yonks. Gettin on that phone tomorrow!! )

[Ian Dewhirst]

Always wondered why you walked like John Wayne Ian. Now we know

Steve

Nah, I've always walked like that, even way before the spike.

My left ball has always been kinda sensitive as long as I can remember, so ramming it into a metal spike @ 30mph was merely the pinnacle of a lifetime of nervousness about it's welfare. Effectively, both my left ball and I knew, that one day there would be a world of pain in that general area, so we were both prepared in our own ways.

So it was no surprise when it happened.

But a 30mph accelaration of your balls directly into a metal spike with 1000 people watching is still pretty extreme whichever way you look at it.

So yes Steve. I'm pretty sensitive about the status of my balls OK?

The John Wayne quips really aren't helping mate......

Ian D