Surreal Dj Requests

[Kris Holmes]

Last Fri night. Wellington NZ.

I'm DJing a soul/ska night, in the middle of a soul set a guy in his 20s walks in, sits down gets his iphone out, feverishly concentrates on it for a few minutes. Gets up walks up to me.

"Can I make a request?"

Me: "Sure, but I only brought this small box of 45s with me (I had 75 or so & over half were ska), so your success rate might not be all that good"

Looks at iphone

"Do you have Mel Britt "She'll Come Running Back"?

Me: No.

He looks at iphone again.

"Can you play Judy Street "What"?

Me: "Sorry mate, I don't have that"

He looks at his iphone again

"How about - he names some other rare northern 45 I don't have - ?"

Me: "Nope, sorry, I really only brought a small amount of records with me"

He puts his phone in his pocket & walks out.

Maybe I should have packed better records.....

It was weird.

[sir cumference]

obviously knows f^&k all!

[boba]

last week on my radio show someone requested Benny Mardones - into the night.

beat that for stupid requests...

[Soul-slider]

I D.J'd at a local Motown night and got asked for ABBA!!!

[Guest]

I asked for a record once and they played it !!

[Markw]

Was DJing at a do in the early 80s and one of the Mod crowd kept coming up and DEMANDING 'Fire' by the Crazy World of Arthur Brown despite my explaining that this was a Northern Soul do. In the end I put Vala Regan on the deck and announced "I am the God of hellfire and I bring you..................FIREMAN!"

[Philt]

Was DJing at a do in the early 80s and one of the Mod crowd kept coming up and DEMANDING 'Fire' by the Crazy World of Arthur Brown despite my explaining that this was a Northern Soul do. In the end I put Vala Regan on the deck and announced "I am the God of hellfire and I bring you..................FIREMAN!"

Genius!

Here's a couple:

"Have you got that one that goes extra, extra read all about it"

"Have you got any northern soul mate"

My personal fave ... the good old fashioned folded piece of paper which I unwrap and squint at to reveal the statement: "pack it in, you're sh*t."(Think I know who was responsible, tw*t )

[Dave Rimmer]

The two I love are

"Can you play something we know", how the hell do I know what they know ???

and

"Can you play some Motown" as you've got one on Gordy spinning and one on Motown cued up next

I've been asked for some Beatles, some Abba, some Rock and Roll, and told a set of uptempo Oldies I played was "Wedding music, have you got nothing fast"

People always tend to come when you have two records left to play and request something ! Or leave a hand written list of 300 records, and you can't read any of it !

I once got asked "Can you play dominoes?"

"yes"

"Good, f*ck off and do it cos you can't play records" :lol:

Many years ago at Bretby, I made the mistake of saying "I never plan a spot in advance, I just open the box and play what I feel is right. I'd even play the spoons" The following month, five minutes into my spot, someone came and asked if I'd got any spoons to play, I of course said no. At which point he produced two plastic spoons and said "you'd better 'ave these then".

This went on through the whole spot, by the end of the hour I had the full picnic set, plastic spoons, knives, forks, even the bloody serviettes ! Thank you to Gaye Kidson for that one

Me and Phil Richards and wives were once at a venue where Mick H was DJing. He didn't know our wives at this point, so Margie and Sue kept going up asking for things like 'The Snake'. Micjk was ever so polite in explaining that he didn't have it with him. By the time they had been four times you could see Mick looking more and more exasperated. He suddenly worked out where they were sitting, and saw me and Phil helpless with laughter. Of course if you are going to take the piss out of a DJ, you have to remember he is the one with the microphone Mick's response was "Rimmer, you bastard, that's a bottle of bud you owe me". Oh, but it was worth it just to see his face

[Moxey25]

had a bloke in shrewsbury can you play the gypsies but i havent got it with me all night can you play the gypsies but i havent got it i told him for thr uptenth time but you playd it early on so had a chat with him turns out he wanted frank pop said he called it the gypsies song what a twat

[Smudger]

I was asked for makerena about 2 years ago ,why do they bother coming to a soul do ?

[Guest callymod]

I was once showed what to play by the lad using two fingers in a walking motion on the palm of his hand,as he didn't know what the tune was called.So after 10 mins of scratching my head i decide to play 25 Miles by Edwin Starr and "Hey Presto!" i guessed right! Glad he didn't want Bull Moose Jackson Big 10"!

[Guest callymod]

I was once showed what to play by the lad using two fingers in a walking motion on the palm of his hand,as he didn't know what the tune was called.So after 10 mins of scratching my head i decide to play 25 Miles by Edwin Starr and "Hey Presto!" i guessed right! Glad he didn't want Bull Moose Jackson Big 10"!

[Russoul1]

i remember djn at a venue, some guy came up and asked " do you have any middle of the road" which i quickly announced just been asked

for chirpy chirpy cheep cheep, should have seen the guys face!!

Edited September 4, 2011 by russoul1

[Guest Ste Brazil]

A friend of mine was playing a mix of 60's stuff and he was asked for (I think it's called) 'Summer of 69' by Brian Adams...at the same club somebody said 'I'll level with you, this music isn't working, have you got something we know like S Club 7'...what can you say to that, Jesus!

I was asked if I had any Motown whilst playing Motown...nobody ever said it was gonna be easy!

[Guest]

I D.J'd at a local Motown night and got asked for ABBA!!!

and did you play it?

[Guest]

i had to do a spot at our firms xmas party..i hated it because the requests just got worse throughout the night...we have ppl from all places near and far working at our place...a japenese lady came up and asked for..wee wee choo....i said im sorry i dont know that track...she told me everyone knows it as it gets played every xmas...i was lost....it turns out she was after......wee wee choo a merry xmas and a happy new year

moldie

[Guest jb000]

Whilst playing Mel & Tim- "Forever & A day" a punter came up to decks and said, "Oi mate, got any 70;s"?

[Pete S]

Earlier this year, Northern Soul Night, Wombourne Cricket Club, I'd played Silky Hargreaves, Ruby Winters, decent stuff, I got asked for Brainstorm - Loving is really my game, followed by Ghost in my house, followed by Nine times out of ten; I said I hadn't got any of them to which the girl replied - have you actually got any GOOD records?

[Iancsloft]

I was dj,in in the early 90,s at the Monaco in Hindley i was spinnin Ruby Feminine Ingenuity this girl comes up looks at it and says thats shite have you not got any Northern Soul i said what do you want to hear she says Sking in the snow by Wigan Ovation ..

Another i was on at Maxines in Wigan this doorman comes up and says play some stompers like what i said he replys

play the Kinks you really got me..

Another at Lowton this woman says are you not playing any northern soul tonite .. Masqueraders do you love me baby was on the 45 before that was Ivorys please stay i said what do you want she said James Brown Sex Machine or oops upside your head

i said your fu-- off your yed thats not northern soul she replied it is where i come from dickhead i said wheres that she replied Styl womans nick now play what i said or else thank god my set was nearly over

[Guest julesp1905]

20 years ago, i used to do a thing on a sunday night at a town centre bar in swindon, it was a quiet night and then walks in what i later found out to be the after party of a 60th birthday, i was asked if there was any chance i could turn the decks off and allow them to put the jukebox, they would pay my wages and pick up my bar tab, the landlady was okay with it, so i got my £40 and drunk to say the least

[Cunnie]

"Can you play something we know", how the hell do I know what they know ???

Reminds me of the time that a certain site member who shall remain nameless (clue, he is a fellow Blades fan & bears a slight resemblance to Captain Mainwaring).

He once came up to me & asked me to play something he didn't know

[NUFCSOUL]

A guy at this do I guest DJ at had been pestering the last few guest Dj's over the previous 2-3 months. Asking for The Snake all night long. I didn't know this and the next month I'm on this big fkr approaches the decks and stares me bang in the eye. Hey you he says - play The Snake! I said - You're fkn joking mate - even if I had it I wouldn't bring it. He steps forward and I think - Oh fk what have I got on the decks that I don't want trashed - Well I only asked cos I like it he says and about turns heads to the exit and he's never been seen back since.

Likewise to others - On one spot I've just played Don Ray, Sam Dees and Herb Ward and some female comes up and asks for 'some decent Northern' !!!! I said - See that box - there's 200 in there but you'll obviously not like any of them so you may as well go home!

[Kevinkent]

A big fat greasy bloke with loose fitting clothes was dj'ing at a small do in Spain. He was playing some right sh!te. I thought requesting Northern might be pushing it so I asked if he had any Motown. "Do I look like the sort of bloke who'd play Motown?" he said. So I looked him up and down and said "You got any Demis Roussos then?".

- Kev.

[Ernie Andrews]

One night IN Dundee (The same night I played Judson Moore- Every Push & Pull that killed the floor) I played afew oldies to get the floor back and Played - Linda Jones -I just cant live my life, Showmen - Our love and a few other oldies to which one guy comes up and said "Will you play some proper northern" I said what? he replied Bobby Hebb - Love love love - I just so happened to have had a white demo in the box by accident. Christ I earned my 30 quid that night!

[Guest ritchie]

Cica 79 I had a mod revivalist approach me and ask for 'waiting for the train'.....

After a little while we established he was wanting B.Anne - He's Coming Home.

He was adamant it was now called Waiting for the train as his mate had told him, and he didn't care what we called it....

I told him to do one,as I hated it anyway and wouldn't have played it what ever it was called even if I had a copy (which I didn't)

He called me a bad name

Edited September 4, 2011 by ritchie

[Markw]

Whilst playing Mel & Tim- "Forever & A day" a punter came up to decks and said, "Oi mate, got any 70;s"?

Is it on 45 rather than off the album? If so, would you like to sell it?

[phillyDaveG]

"Can you play something we know", how the hell do I know what they know ???

Lol, that's a fairly common one over the years. What's worse is when you ask them to name something they know and would like to hear, they can't!

Another one I sometimes get is can you play something from the charts. I normally play some obscure 7ts thing saying "..and that made the Chicago R&B top 100 back in '73"

[Guest eddiep]

Was double decking a couple of years back and a young-ish mod looking girl came up and and asked if I could play The Coasters classic...............

Love Potion 69 !

Stopped me and my mate in our tracks and we just burst out laughing

Can't refer to that Coasters tune without actually calling it anything else now.

Edited September 5, 2011 by eddiep

[Guest Barry Holland]

i had to do a spot at our firms xmas party..i hated it because the requests just got worse throughout the night...we have ppl from all places near and far working at our place...a japenese lady came up and asked for..wee wee choo....i said im sorry i dont know that track...she told me everyone knows it as it gets played every xmas...i was lost....it turns out she was after......wee wee choo a merry xmas and a happy new year

moldie

:lol:

[Tony Smith]

Was double decking a couple of years back and a young-ish mod looking girl came up and and asked if I could play The Coasters classic............... Love Potion 69 ! Stopped me and my mate in our tracks and we just burst out laughing Can't refer to that Coasters tune without actually calling it anything else now.

:lol: :lol:

[Guest sharmo 1]

I tell you what boy's i had a really bad trip one night in Derby ,everything was going o.k untill this guy came up and asked for magic carpet ride , in truth i used to alway's keep that and a few other oldies in my just in case corner of my box .I said yes and he said thank you , i tried to find it and realised as no one had ever asked for it I'd taken it out a couple of month's prior to the evening.This guy came up to me and said "are you playing my f.....king record or not ? I asked you nicley to play that record I pay your f.....ing wage's " It was at this stage I realised this guy was having some sort of breakdown and an unpleasant one at that.I asked Derick Allen if He'd got it "no" now this guy came up and said "Your f...king dead "This was in my pre Buddhist day's and I thought I'll smash my D.j box over his head that should calm him down my wife went to the bouncers and asked if they could sort it out.This is when thing's got a little worrying ,they said" we can give your husband 5 minutes to get down the fire escape and get out of Derby after that he's in trouble" Aparently this guy had just come out of nick for attempted murder and was renound for beating door staff up ..........he was one of those type of guy's you normally come across in Albanian dock yard.I made my escape down to yard to be met by a mad alsation (dog) after nearly loosing half my flesh and my canine virginity i got to the barbed wire topped locked and bolted gate.I soon kicked that in got to the car no Tina ............Boll....x he's got my mrs she came out the door with Todd waving the car key's "do you want some chips from the chip shop accross the road?" I said your joking with that maniac out looking for us come get going .We went down the road and turned a corner and there he was walking in the middle of the road with his top off ranting and raving to the moon !!!!! I never djed in Derby again.We saw this guy a few weeks later and he was lying in the gents with his head kicked in i never saw him again .Regards Simon.

[KevH]

Was told to perform an act once by a requestee.I think only Ron Jeremy has perfected it.

[Guest miss nancy]

I asked for a record once and they played it !!

lol

[cloth ears]

A few years ago my mate was djin , he had only been on about 10 minutes or so when a woman came up on stage and asked him if he could hurry up as she wanted to see kenny burrell who was on after him , i pmsl when he told me.

[Ged Parker]

Whilst DJing for Liam and Phil over at the Belfast Soul Club this guy was chatting to me before I went on and said "I saw you play once at the Winter Gardens in Blackpool can you play that midtempo thing you played near the end of your set?" I said "Hmm can you give me any more clues?" He said " Yeah I thinks it by a guy and its possibly on a blue lable"

It was only later on I realised he probably meant Roy Robert - I Know What To Do............. didn't have it with me anyway.

[Guest Ollie Lailey]

Playing a few records in the local pub and some guy came up and asked my why I wasn't using a laptop or CDs. He then asked me for Bohemian rhapsody, I said I don't play that sort of thing, he then suggested that I look it up on youtube and download it. I told him that was very tricky with a Technics 1210!

The same bloke asked if i could play "Some Reggae, you know like UB40"

Sad thing, he wasn't even drunk.

[NEV]

Was asked for Billy Ocean ( f**k knows which one) ....politely said i havent got it ....then same girl asks ..have you got nin times out of ten....sorry no i havent got that either....

5 minutes later ,another girl comes up to the decks ( the official spokeswoman) and says " try playing stuff people know " ,whilst Gladys Knight -just walk in my shoes ,was on the decks

The worrying thing was ...it was a 3 room event .....big main room playing all well known dancers .....modern room ...and then a little " rare soul " lounge ( where i was playing )

[Guest Byrney]

I was Djing at a scooter ralley early 90s. Two boneheads came up and asked for Skrewdriver (Sh!te Racist Nazi band). I had my mates records at the side of me so had a skip though and cued a particular record up and announced as requested "this is for Mad Dave and the Dagenham Skins".

The dulcet tones of Free Nelson Mandela by the Specials fluttered from the speakers. Dave and bonehead mates went ape sh1t.... "Security to the stage"

Still dine out on that one.

Edited September 5, 2011 by Byrney

[Gene-r]

I was Djing at a scooter ralley early 90s. Two boneheads came up and asked for Skrewdriver (Sh!te Racist Nazi band). I had my mates records at the side of me so had a skip though and cued a particular record up and announced as requested "this is for Mad Dave and the Dagenham Skins".

The dulcet tones of Free Nelson Mandela by the Specials fluttered from the speakers. Dave and bonehead mates went ape sh1t.... "Security to the stage"

Still dine out on that one.

Classic!

[Len]

Last Fri night. Wellington NZ.

I'm DJing a soul/ska night, in the middle of a soul set a guy in his 20s walks in, sits down gets his iphone out, feverishly concentrates on it for a few minutes. Gets up walks up to me.

"Can I make a request?"

Me: "Sure, but I only brought this small box of 45s with me (I had 75 or so & over half were ska), so your success rate might not be all that good"

Looks at iphone

"Do you have Mel Britt "She'll Come Running Back"?

Me: No.

He looks at iphone again.

"Can you play Judy Street "What"?

Me: "Sorry mate, I don't have that"

He looks at his iphone again

"How about - he names some other rare northern 45 I don't have - ?"

Me: "Nope, sorry, I really only brought a small amount of records with me"

He puts his phone in his pocket & walks out.

Maybe I should have packed better records.....

It was weird.

I've had lots of 'Unpleasantness / wierdness' during my D.J 'Career' - One example was very simular, after all the requests I didn't have, this guy stood behind me with his arms folded, I asked if he was ok in a 'why are you still here?' kind of way - He replied "Don't worry, I'll think of something else in a minute" - F.F.S!!! - I was lucky he turned up wasn't I? lol

Len.

[Md Records]

I've posted this one before, but it stil confuses me to this day. I was playing a few tunes in the 1990's in Gloucester, when a local collector brings up a scrap of paper with 3 English Tamla Motown numbers scrawled on them , TMG 5xx , TMG 5xx & TMG 5xx - you get the picture, and asks me if I could ask over the mike if anyone has these records. I wasn't comfortable about this and asks "Are you after them" to which he says "No, I've got them and just want to see if anyone else has them" I politely gave him the scrap of paper and declined the bizarre request.

Des Parker

[Len]

I've posted this one before, but it stil confuses me to this day. I was playing a few tunes in the 1990's in Gloucester, when a local collector brings up a scrap of paper with 3 English Tamla Motown numbers scrawled on them , TMG 5xx , TMG 5xx & TMG 5xx - you get the picture, and asks me if I could ask over the mike if anyone has these records. I wasn't comfortable about this and asks "Are you after them" to which he says "No, I've got them and just want to see if anyone else has them" I politely gave him the scrap of paper and declined the bizarre request.

Des Parker

Brilliant! I had one guy ask if I would call him a cab! - There wasn't the slightest bit of irony in his voice either, he was serious!

Len.

[Len]

The two I love are

"Can you play something we know", how the hell do I know what they know ???

I've had (Again completely seriously) - "Can you play something we like?"!!!

Or after a couple of requests that I didn't have from someone, I politely asked if there was any more she had in mind? - She replied (With a moody face) "Yes there is, but you wouldn't have them" and marched off!

It's all part of the fun! lol

Len.

[viphitman]

I've posted this one before, but it stil confuses me to this day. I was playing a few tunes in the 1990's in Gloucester, when a local collector brings up a scrap of paper with 3 English Tamla Motown numbers scrawled on them , TMG 5xx , TMG 5xx & TMG 5xx - you get the picture, and asks me if I could ask over the mike if anyone has these records. I wasn't comfortable about this and asks "Are you after them" to which he says "No, I've got them and just want to see if anyone else has them" I politely gave him the scrap of paper and declined the bizarre request.

Des Parker

Frigging great !!!! It's like bingo for collectors !!!!! From now on there should be a seperate room at every allnighter called NORTHERN SOUL BINGO !!!!

[Kris Holmes]

I think I said this before but I was playing a lesser known Otis Redding 45 & someone actually came up & requested some Otis Redding.

[Guest giant]

Last Fri night. Wellington NZ.

I'm DJing a soul/ska night, in the middle of a soul set a guy in his 20s walks in, sits down gets his iphone out, feverishly concentrates on it for a few minutes. Gets up walks up to me.

"Can I make a request?"

Me: "Sure, but I only brought this small box of 45s with me (I had 75 or so & over half were ska), so your success rate might not be all that good"

Looks at iphone

"Do you have Mel Britt "She'll Come Running Back"?

Me: No.

He looks at iphone again.

"Can you play Judy Street "What"?

Me: "Sorry mate, I don't have that"

He looks at his iphone again

"How about - he names some other rare northern 45 I don't have - ?"

Me: "Nope, sorry, I really only brought a small amount of records with me"

He puts his phone in his pocket & walks out.

Maybe I should have packed better records.....

It was weird.

the guy is a idiot ,who know it all

[paultp]

At These Old Shoes we would often get odd people wandering in, one night this bloke asked me to play "something by The Doors"

I said I couldn't as the decks are over here .....

We had one of those 10 second moments where we looked at each other in silence, both thinking "wierd tw*t"

[Markw]

At These Old Shoes we would often get odd people wandering in, one night this bloke asked me to play "something by The Doors"

I said I couldn't as the decks are over here .....

We had one of those 10 second moments where we looked at each other in silence, both thinking "wierd tw*t"

:lol:

[Jnixon]

regularly asked for lady gaga. got asked for a slow country number in the middle of playing a modern set. he wanted to dance with his new bird.

someone asked me for some danceable gospel once. shocked but i had something so played it. half way through the track another punter came along told me to get it off then spat half a glass of jd and c over my mush when i refused. dangerous game requests.

[Guest garysoul82]

Me and my pal maurice put on a northern night at yoobies in birmingham in the mid 8ts.

A rastafarian came up to us and said can you please play some black music.Our reply,

We are playing black music,soul music.He replied no,some real black music.Jaws dropped rapidly.